WHY AM I HERE? I feel like I am dying in here Mum “I will never get better in here”

“Hi someone has stood in my way getting home”

“Csny wait come home”

“All that I’ve seen happen to me is my liberty being taken away its starting to become really boring this GAME!”

“I love you mum you’re the best”

“ I am currently stuck in AV“

“Hi mum isn’t there a way I could stay in the chalet while   your busy building”

“You’ve got to get me outta hrre”

“I love pigeons and make sure they’re some onion rings crisps and sandwiches from ms”

“Hi I think the MH health has abused me”

“Hi Mum can you bring me a homemade choc cream filled cake –  Hi can you please get me some egg mayonnaise sandwich maker sliced white bread olive oil spread some more salami.

“Are you coming to see me.”

“Are you going coming to see me tomorrow.”

“It  will be a long old stretch till end of February but I hope ur ready pick me up and well go for a nice mcdonalds meal and I will give you my coke so I dont spill it.”

“Dr R I think is behind all the abuse I could cry.”

“They are being nasty I dare you to come to the hospital and demand my release.”

“make sure you send that ombudsman paper off to the right place”

“miss you lots”

Re her cat “how’s my baby fluffy  “I am glad he’s ok I miss him I wd love come see him sometime soon”

“ I cant wait for my chocolate birthday cake sounds del”

“could it be that the autism has caused me to look unwell”

“this situation MH gets weirder as the day goes past.  They are ob trying to hold me against my will here it’s so terrible”

My daughter has herself on two occasions on her own accord called the CQC but now things have taken a turn for the worse and I am having to look for all the capacity assessments she has had carried out in the past which are many. My daughter has also put a prayer on Lincoln Cathedral’s website begging to come home whilst at Lincoln Hospital.  I had nothing to do with this whatsoever and she could not have done this if she did not have capacity.

J…. she asked about your phone calls.

Have you got a copy of your care plan   “no”

“would like to come to church”

“you nd to act now call cqc”

“I refused the lying down mri”

“bring my swimming costume just in case”

“I think I am being abused”  

I have just spent over an hour driving to visit Elizabeth. It has been a nice day today and only ground leave is allowed because there is covid on the ward again. You have to book a visit even for when it is to walk outside. I saw other patients outside on their own but doubt whether Elizabeth is allowed out without escorts. I have supervised visits only and that has been the case for quite some time. When asked why? you get no answers to this. When asked about S17 leave again you get no answers.

I am just about getting used to the roads now. I found them terrifying at first. It is hardly worth me going to visit for just one hour but I always make the effort and combine my visit with other things such as going to the local church where I have met some very nice people and swimming. I asked a week ago if I could take Elizabeth to church. The answer was no. I asked if I could take her swimming. The answer was no. I asked if she could see the lovely ducks and pigeons in the canal – the answer was no.

I have one point of contact only and staff have been advised to put the phone down on me. If I was to do this in my previous role I would be sacked but this is the NHS and anything goes.

None of this should ever have happened but this area is a prime example for other areas to learn from.

I am included in the ward rounds so far and presented a list of questions prior but not all were addressed.

One such question was “Why under S26 of the MHA have I as NR been given only restrictive visiting rights?

Another question was “who are the hospital managers” – “we can’t give you this information”.

It is heart-breaking that on a nice day such as today Elizabeth is held a prisoner and spends most of her time in her room. She should be out in the fresh air or more to the point home amongst her family.

I have done a lot now to a house that was sadly neglected for many years. I might put everything up on Youtube to show what I have had done to the house.

Elizabeth liked the house even when it had not even been touched and she liked the area where people are kind and friendly however not everyone is kind as we have found out.

The question needs to be asked why care was not up and running – care being the depot injection in the community which Elizabeth was being taken off.

I tried hard to get ongoing “treatment” in place knowing full well that I would be labelled as unsuitable and unworthy of being the Nearest Relative but even worse is their approach in this new area. The S117 aftercare of depot only was still being held by Enfield Community Rehab Team just after Xmas and I am assuming they still have this because Elizabeth flatly refused to speak to them.

If you are thinking of moving to a new area in the hope of a fresh start and new beginning I am afraid my blog is a warning to everyone who thinks things are better elsewhere when they are not.

Today’s visit was quite pleasant and this time staff stood back. It was outside in the grounds and I was able to hand Elizabeth all the nice food and money etc that I brought for her.

In the previous hospital about half an hour away from this one I hardly had any contact and again it was supervised which was intrusive and quite frankly degrading. Even more degrading was the caged vehicle used to transfer patients – they are patients not criminals so why can’t more suitable transport be used?

There is no thought for Art 8 or 3 in this area. Family visiting rights severely restricted and blame put on covid. At the previous hospital it was dormitory accommodation and this is highly unsuitable for someone like Elizabeth who has sensory issues and still persists in saying she is autistic but noone listens or respects – the very diagnosis was autism. It is as though they do not want her to have the autism diagnosis and that they just want to stick with schizophrenia because this is what they can “treat” with drugs. They had to put her in a side room at the other hospital but the current facility is situated in a quiet area.

So Elizabeth spends much of her time in her room and in bed she said to keep warm. Apparently blankets are not allowed and I was taking a little dog to visit which she thoroughly enjoyed but was told this was not allowed. This place quite frankly is more like prison than a hospital. Physical health is overlooked and dismissed.

My next blog will feature the various letters I have received which I am sure some of you can identify with. I will try and do this tomorrow.

On a positive note the house is much improved now. We have a static caravan which I bought especially for Elizabeth as I did not want to prolong her suffering whilst being held like a prisoner simply because the NHS could not get things up and running in the new area. Hopefully work can start to take place on the demolishing of rundown garage and the commencement of building works for her separate architecturally-designed living accommodation for which we have consents. I got the static caravan for Elizabeth and she will be overjoyed to see this.

I was concerned today that Elizabeth was subdued she told me that a nurse had injected her with a different drug and she was very very weak and tired. She is not getting fresh air or much exercise. The grounds surrounding this facility could be made much nicer and I asked staff members what they would like to see. I shall feature this in another blog as I can also think of no end of improvements to this facility.

It is a pity that the RC Dr HMS has resorted to getting rid of me as NR and going down the route I believe of discrediting the POA for myself/her father. When he told me this at ward round I thought “not again!” How many times do I have to be bullied and faced with legal action against me like a criminal and most importantly how much is this costing when this money could be instead spent on better things and I would be willing to help raise some money instead plans are already in hand to get rid of me and in a very big way which I am more than happy to feature despite my comments below:

I have been warned if I wrote about this that the consequences were that they could discredit me and trying to say that I am mentally ill when in fact I would not be driving for hours or writing this accurate blog otherwise.

I had so hoped for something better and I am awaiting my FOI request as to how much this facility costs and will let you all know.

The Tribunal is on Tuesday and I do not appear to be listed as NR yet I most certainly am the NR and Elizabeth today confirmed her request for me to attend.

  1. nottinghamsue said:

    So sorry this saga continues
    Still praying for a happy outcome. You are very strong.
    Much love and prayers for you and Elizabeth
    Sue Walker

  2. Yes and we had hoped for peace and tranquility but when there is abuse going on I am only too happy to report and in this blog the comments come directly from my daughter Elizabeth who claims she is autistic. Thank you so much for your kind comments. I have moved to Lincolnshire to provide safe and nice accommodation and she was not even on a CTO before – the NHS is absolutely apalling. All that was needed was a continuation as she was being taken off it anyway.

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