Elizabeth flatly refused to walk up the road halfway on her own and even walking to the end of the driveway she could not do and only walked to where the car was parked and just grabbed hold of the car. She has complained of double vision and feels like she is going to fall. She certainly has a deep fear of going out and that needs help and encouragement. Today I had to go shopping and buy some presents for friends so we went to the local town in the car and to begin with Elizabeth felt very ill and later she was OK once out for some time. It takes a while for her to settle down. So I had done the shopping and there was somewhere Elizabeth wanted to go today and I decided to take her straight there afterwards. It was really just a sales event and there were various things on to attract new customers as the venue had new owners. Elizabeth said she felt hungry and there was a café inside. I ordered food and we waited and when the food was brought over to us Elizabeth could not eat without feeling very ill to the point of feeling sick. I had to abandon our table hastily with her to the nearest toilets and was not too impressed when I got back to find the food had been cleared away despite me telling someone there. Fortunately the food had not been thrown away so Elizabeth was able to take away some of what she could not eat. From this venue we have just arrived home and I need to in a minute wrap these presents up as friends are coming round tonight. Whilst we were driving back in the car I wondered how the care home coped with this kind of behaviour that I am seeing more and more on a regular basis the same thing. How do you get round this behaviour – well I made a point of asking what the care home did and Elizabeth told me they were very lenient with her and that is her own words. All I can say is that I do not believe in just saying OK do not bother then. No I believe in getting her out no matter what as always she enjoys herself once out and once settled down. It is not like she is this way all the time and therefore I think I am doing the right thing by insisting that Elizabeth comes out with me somewhere or does something. She would go nowhere otherwise and when I asked about the care home apparently all too often when Elizabeth said she did not want to go out they accepted that or maybe they tempted her with the chemical Lorazepam as and when required. Well she is not going to get over things unless she goes out somewhere in my opinion. How ever is Elizabeth going to have a normal life if she does not go out anywhere. So today I contacted an organisation who send personal trainers round to the house and I am hoping to hear from this organisation. Elizabeth will be able to do some fitness exercises and maybe this trainer could even take her to the park just up the road where they have outdoor gym equipment and this is very good for fitness exercise. I hope that I hear this week from these people so that I can quickly arrange what is needed and what I myself cannot provide. If Elizabeth had remained any longer institutionalised things could be even worse as this “fear” could deteriorate even more at least Elizabeth wanted to go to this place and did not refuse. What a shame she could not enjoy the lunch at this venue. So far the very best care I have found is in Harley Street with Susan Hepburn. I am going to see what wonders these personal trainers can do with my daughter first as clearly the chemicals are not working at all – only on Abilify did I see symptoms of bulimia or anxiety to this extreme and never before have I seen dizziness to the point of disablement. This chemical is not doing any good and I intend to report these important issues to the FDA – with Elizabeth being treatment resistant this could well be the reason and not only will she need an appointment to see the neurologist but one in Liverpool and I must check to see if the Professor concerned at Liverpool Uni is back yet. I forgot to say that the new social worker is coming yet again on Monday in my absence. I will tell Elizabeth to write down things that she needs. Last time there was a person centred approach that went on for six months and nothing was provided so Elizabeth needs to write down what she needs so that something is provided otherwise once again nothing will be given just like before. I must arrange with my carer to pick up the chemicals from the hospital – now things are different no longer can I have the convenience of collecting these drugs even though at times I had to wait around for ages -I still think this was the best arrangement as it is expensive to provide carers to do all this running about on my behalf on top of everything else.