Elizabeth made it quite clear today that she does not want to go to a step down house………………. if that is the plan to keep hold of her by this hospital.  Someone said they had their own step down houses well maybe this is why nothing is moving on. There are meant to be other referrals but there seems to be some big holdup right now and having spoken to my daughter I am wondering if this could be the reason.  If someone got on the phone and communicated with the family then there would be none of this speculation going on.  “I just want to get on with my life now”  –    Anyway I want the world to know my daughter’s wishes – she has recently been taken to somewhere and liked that place very much.  Elizabeth’s wishes should be listened to.

I got a call from the consultant psychiatrist recently – the first call I have ever had asking what my requirements would be for Xmas but there was no mention on how long Elizabeth would be allowed to spend with her family.  So far only 1 night has ever been allowed and I have had to share my time with Elizabeth and the rest of the family who are living in two different locations.  Elizabeth lives about  the farthest away as compared to anyone else so she tells me herself.   I am waiting to hear whether the rest of the family can pick her up – that is the problem – I do not have holiday left over the Xmas period apart from the statutory days.  Virtually all my holiday has been used going to Wales.    If I did not have a car I would not be able to see Elizabeth.  If I did not have a job I would have no money to visit.   Getting back to my car I am obviously concerned that the car is looked after well what with all the driving I am doing.  Today I have managed to find a good garage for my car who are honest.  I am delighted with this as one previous garage had not returned my last car and I doubt I will see a penny of that money I spent on it ever again.  The people repairing my car were “friends” and had done work on my car before without any problem yet suddenly they ignored calls and made excuses for not giving the car back.  The Police will do nothing as this is a civil matter – they are just  not interested at all.  Being without a car for so long left me in despair.  When I had to visit Elizabeth in Kent it was really awkward and I had to rely on buses, tubes and trains and nearly all my time was taken with travelling but I made the effort even when I was banned from the ward apart from visiting for only 1 hour.  Because of sorting out my car today I was unable to go to  my group meeting with the former patients but may invite some of them over soon. 

The most I could hope to see of Elizabeth if I am lucky is just 1 day.   I just hope that will be possible.

Last night I went out with my former work colleagues to a very nice pub for a Xmas meal.  I have another Xmas do to go to soon as well which I am looking forward to.

I have managed to get over to my gym several times this week even though I have not felt like going.  The classes are very good at my gym but now that I am not training for the bleep test I do not do very much in the gym itself.  I was also using my gym for  training earlier this year for the Marie Curie Swimathon and completed 2.5km – I used to do competitive swimming so this was not a great achievement on my part as in one training session we had to do so much more but that was years ago now.  Elizabeth and her sister took part in swimming lessons but they were not interested in joining a club which was my main interest when I was younger.

I have told my two daughters that this year I want nothing for Xmas –  I believe Xmas is too commercialised and I would like to see them donate the money instead to something like Chy Sawel.  I used to take Elizabeth and her sister to church in the morning on Xmas Day and they both went to Sunday School.   Xmas to me would be for everyone to be together and that is all I could wish for.  I also usually visit an old lady on Xmas Day and take her dinner –  we used to have her over and with my father who had Alzheimers but in the end it became impossible as they both became so disabled to the point they could not walk.

I cannot say I am looking forward to Xmas this year and certainly will not look forward to Xmas if Elizabeth is not allowed to come over.










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