YOU WILL LOSE ME FOREVER IF YOU ARE NOT CAREFUL, MUM

You are overturning the apple cart.
I have to watch my reputation in here.
It is very strict, Mum, you have to go along with the team. I have my reputation to watch. Don’t embarrass me Mum things get back to me.
Dr ………………….said ………………………………………… (cannot disclose prior to court)
Dr …………………. said ………………………………………….. (cannot disclose prior to court)
Letter received from Manager of Hospital – stating supervised calls at Elizabeths request on a weekly basis.
“Don’t tell your mother” In relation to a visit to her grandparents where I was excluded.
Why have I got all these letters from Welsh solicitors, Mum?
“you are interfering with the care, Mum – everything you say gets back to me”.
“I’ve got to go now”
“I am on 15 minute watch”
“You don’t know how things are in here”
“I am not allowed out without a member of staff accompanying me”
“how is Fluffy the cat”
“I miss home and I miss you Mum”
“I’ve got to go now”
“It has not been possible to connect your call” “Has anyone discouraged you from speaking to me” “Yes ……………but I cannot say whom”.

“Do you really want your Mum to be the Nearest Relative”

I have not heard from my daughter Elizabeth all week. The phone does not ring these days – the conversations are awkward like never before.

I am not the only one experiencing this – the rest of the family have said the same and they were favoured by the team but lately they do not get invited to the CPAs either.

I am not the only one who has experienced this.

Phone forever charging in the office at one point.

It is for a reason that a patient is moved far away from home and family and that is to take complete control and to sever family relationships. This is not what Elizabeth would have wanted and even if she is brainwashed into saying things against me as a mother I understand that she is under pressure.

When you complain the team then make out it is the wish of that person and I understand how intimidating it must be for my daughter to be faced with a team who are against me as a mother.

I can honestly say this is true as I now have the paperwork to back up my claims.

Instead of working with you as a parent, picking up the phone and speaking to you, instead of letting you know even basic information like Elizabeth had a nice day – there is silence. You cannot always get through on the phone and if the mobile is not answered you have to wait on the other end of the phone.

Yesterday I was in Whole Foods and tried to organise some food to be delivered as I do not see my daughter that often but unfortunately this could not be done. I then thought of a plant but the nice plants were not in plastic pots which would not be allowed on the ward. Instead I had some photos done of the cat. Right from the very beginning it was evident I was being excluded by the team. It then came out when my solicitors were appointed that all the time they were trying to get me replaced. Well I am not surprised they want me replaced as I have knowledge of the drugs and have appointed a good representative in court. However even that is not guarantee to get the section released and she could be stuck in hospital for years to the point of being very much disabled.

I would not be writing these truthful comments openly for everyone to read if I had been included and if the team had communicated openly and honestly with me from the beginning.

I have also taken to Twitter to discuss openly and honestly a subject that is not treated openly and honestly. Little do the public know the full facts and what is really going on.

There is much in the way of secrecy and cover up when you are dealing with mental health patients in particular confidentiality and capacity are played upon to exclude families. This is particularly evident if you dare to disagree with the care.

Elizabeth is under private sector care funded by the Local Authority and it must be costing a fortune and in addition she has two social workers as well. These social workers do not pick up the phone and communicate. They spend all their time going to meetings and discussing you behind your back so it would appear. I have asked who my daughter’s new social worker is but my email has been ignored. The social services make out they do not know what is going on but I know someone from the local area has been attending the meetings at the hospital and then they make out they know nothing. Well I have invited myself to the next CPA – three emails have been ignored and then I pressed for the date and time and finally got a response however I had to then check that I was allowed to go as this response did not give that impression.

Anyway, the facilities and the “care” in terms of outings and food – well this is a world apart from the local facilities. The fact is to refer someone to a private hospital such as this is I believe a last resort when everything has failed which it has done.

My criticism is not of the nurses as they are just doing their job but my criticism lies with the drugs which are continually given on a daily basis at 800mg and one is off label for so called weight loss not tried and tested. My criticism is with the person/people who are behind the distancing of relationships as I see.

I have the legal papers that state clearly that I am not fit to be nearest relative and this is because I have shown opposition to the drugs being given. This is because my daughter has had 14 mind altering drugs and yet still comes out with comments that reveal she remembers way back. The drugs mask the problem and simply have not worked as the underlying causes have not been addressed properly. Physically we have all noticed my daughter is going downhill. I also have private test results to prove this.

The longer spent at this hospital the more dependant but the team do not care as it is about control and money – the longer someone is under their “care” the better as money is being provided for this purpose and that person cannot then just return back to the local area/environment – there are a lack of suitable facilities in the community in this country and something should be done about it.

A hospital is not a good place to get better however Elizabeth would need one to one care.

What mother would be happy for someone to remain under the care of a hospital when you get to hear things said behind your back that are not very nice.

It is a shame this sort of thing goes on and I am not alone here either.

I am being more outspoken than most because I would like to see change In the current system and I am not the only one. I am in touch with many mothers in the same position. The taxpayer is paying a fortune for the forgotten “victims of the pharmaceutical industry” who are on never ending sections yet are not violent in many cases. Noone should be written up as treatment resistant. If there were decent places such as Chy Sawel and Root and Branch etc then there would be no problems. Places where patients are treated with respect not like currently are available.

I have had letters sent privately from readers of my blog which I would not disclose which are truly shocking.

I have had supportive comments and critical as well. I do not mind criticism at all – it is a good thing to speak openly and honestly. This is precisely what is wrong with the current care system – lack of honest and open communication.

I would like to see those patients who are locked away, not violent but in hospital forever being given the support they need in the community but this of course would require funding but how much does it cost to keep them in hospital with the only care of drugs and what cost will this be to the NHS when that person becomes physically ill. There are many people trapped on never ending sections and Tribunals are dragged out and manipulated – costing the public money. Elizabeth’s Tribunal should have taken place much much earlier. The issues have been on changing solicitors to that recommended by the hospital. There was no way on earth Elizabeth herself would have changed a perfectly good local firm of solicitors if it was not for the team’s influence. That is because she had given consent for me to see information but all I was interested in was the drugs however the team did not want me to have any information at all. If there was something major wrong that Elizabeth actually had diabetes for instance this is another reason the team do not want me to see the files and have ignored previous consents from Elizabeth in this respect.

Then came the delays in Elizabeth agreeing to the independent doctor coming to see her and the involvement of Dr Walsh for private tests. It took a visit from her sister which immediately brought about agreement as Elizabeth is not happy being on a section – the team tried to make out she was undecided all the time about the independent doctor visiting. This must be wasting a lot of public money. So all along Elizabeth has been deprived of the holistic care choice of Wales and forced to take the drugs prescribed by the Bethlem even though one is being given off label-not even tried and tested for the purpose.

The last time I spoke to Elizabeth she felt “up and down”. Now the rest of the family are concerned having seen what they think is Elizabeth declining. She suffers regular panic attacks and anxiety.

The team would love it if I was to come along to their CPA and in the slightest way show that I am distressed or unhappy. If I was to do that then they would immediately put a stop to me having contact making out that it was affecting Elizabeth.

This team has not worked with the family as a whole especially me from the very beginning.

This team could be goverened by behaving in such a way as social services/local Primary Care Trust locally are funding things. Either way I could not help but detect that there was awkwardness about the situation some members of staff were placed in but they have to go along with orders or else – or else they will be subject to bullying like I have. Exclusion = bullying.

Meanwhile I will end with the comments of my daughter:

“there is no place like home, Mum”

No doubt Elizabeth under pressure from a team who do not like me may have come out with other comments against me which could be used as a tool by the team to further distance me in hoping I would step back as a mother. I have parts of the file going right back so I know what goes on – questions by the team prompting an answer such as “does your mother hit you?” If someone then replies yes that has gone on then the team do not question the patient however in an environment such as a hospital a patient is put under pressure and when such comments were evident in the file and shown by her sister, Elizabeth admitted there was no truth in these comments at all but at the time of being asked by the professional she was angry as she felt I had put her in hospital. I have heard comments “You’ve put me here” more than once but that is not the case and Elizabeth has blocked memory as to what exactly happened – events leading up to admission. Negative comments in any form against me as a mother will no doubt be used in court – court that is held in secret – how fair is such a system where courts are held in secret?

I hope this blog highlights what is wrong with the system as it stands. It is all down to communication and should not depend on whether a doctor or a professional likes you or not.

There is so much in the legal papers that are untrue – I think I know everything without even having access to the files apart from if they are giving extra drugs on top – the problem the team have with me is I am not in favour of the drugging of my daughter but that does not mean I would encourage her to stop or attempt to take her off them. They are just using this a one big excuse in my opinion and I am bringing out into the open the kind of cases brought in secrecy under mental health tribunal and I am getting a lot of support from patients/mothers and even some experts.

Anyway I now have a lot to sort out and will be going to my meeting later today and also I have the old lady to think of right now to try and get something sorted out about wishes which would need assistance as her wish is for help to be able to walk again and that would involve moving furniture.

Since writing this I have heard from Elizabeth and rang her back. I was worried on hearing that a lump was discovered on her head but when I rang the hospital they did not say it was anything serious but it certainly gave me a lot to think of – if something serious was to happen to Elizabeth at Cambian I wonder if I would be informed as all the time there has been virtually no information given directly and you only get to hear things indirectly. Like at the Bethlem when an emergency doctor was called out -not one member of staff bothered to ring you – I only got to hear via Elizabeth herself.

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1 comment
  1. Hi, yup this article is actually nice and I have learned lot of things
    from it about blogging. thanks.

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