I had a great time last night at a concert in Hyde park where myself and a work colleague attended. I could temporarily forget my problems which was a good thing. On a beautiful evening Hyde Park was full up and I felt sorry for Elton John who due to illness was unable to perform at this event. We saw Elvis Costello who was good and after this we noticed another smaller stage and lively performance which culminated in a steel band and wonderful carnival atmosphere with wonderful costumes you would see at Notting Hill Carnival – I could not believe I was in London as all I see every day in miserable faces on the tube and I certainly do not see such a happy atmosphere on a daily basis. We then briefly saw Ray Davies/The Kinks before leaving but unfortunately the signposting was not very good and myself and my colleague got quick a shock when we wandered right into the Gents open air toilet – we were shown the way out by security but they need to do something about their sign posting that is for sure but that was my only complaint! Elizabeth once would have enjoyed such an event but now it would not be possible for her to go as she would suffer a panic attack with the crowds present – it would be too much for her to enjoy yet the one thing she does enjoy is music – what a shame she is missing out on so much of her life – she has even commented these words to me “I feel I am missing out on my life, Mum”. “All I have is my music”. Elizabeth’s music may not be to my taste any more and her favourite type of music is more rock music but she would have enjoyed the carnival – in fact the whole event before she became so very ill and there was so much choice of food you could buy there but we had gone to a restaurant beforehand and could not face any more food.

Today I am going to a friend’s house for a Barbeque. The friends have known Elizabeth for a long time and she once babysat for their younger son. Unfortunately now Elizabeth could never do such a thing but she have always loved children and animals. It is hard as a mother to think that it is unlikely she could ever be a mother herself on all these drugs – Elizabeth was once living a normal life before being put on 14 mind altering drugs and given so many different labels.

Anyway, the barbeque does not start until later so that has given me time to catch up on all the housework which I have done and to visit the old lady who I used to look after. The old lady lives at the top of a block of flats and does not have her family around her to care for her. I was doing a lot for her at one time tying in shopping and housework which I did voluntarily amongst looking after my father who had Alzheimers and my younger daughter who had been sectioned with Schizophrenia (but who is now on top of the world). So today I will visit with a sample of linos which I promised some time back to bring her to look at in order to replace her carpet. The old lady does not want to move and now has carers that go in on a daily basis but she sleeps in her chair night and day despite a bed but the bed is not being used as the old lady likes to go to bed late and no carers are around to put her to bed at midnight or so. There is little I can do myself as I work full time and am swamped with my own problems but this weekend I shall take some dinner.

It is good that a date for the Tribunal has been finally set after all this time. I have decided to get the whole team together and copy in everyone in emails so that everyone knows what is going on including my solicitor as I feel there has been a lack in communication in the past. I have done this to the social workers (2 of them). Suddenly it appears that one social worker does not want to be connected to the case any more or has been replaced. I must find out who the new second social worker is. The email I received just as I was leaving work was that please do not copy me in. It is a reasonable request as I have been trying to find out the details of the CPA that Elizabeth specially told me she wants me to attend.

The Consultant Psychiatrist at Cambian is unavailable for the alternative date of the Tribunal which I had hoped to tie in with the CPA but never mind I will have to go down twice if need me or else perhaps Head Office (Mr Asaria – CEO) can help me. If I have written 3 times asking for information and have received none then I feel that Head Office should be helping me and it is certainly convenient for me to call in any time as they are down the road. Apparently I just missed Mr Asaria – his secretary tried to say he was out but the receptionist said I had just missed him – all I wanted was an appointment to see Mr Asaria that would not have taken more than 15 minutes of his time. Now I have more serious issues. The National Psychosis Unit have just written to me to say that they packed the supplements. Cambian have found the oils but where are the supplements? At one time Cambian was short of the fish oil capsules – luckily since the Bethlem did not return my invoice I have a copy. I not only want the supplements replaced but the mauve blanket.

If the consultant psychiatrist is worried about me coming on the ward then at least she should be honest and say exactly so to my face instead of trying to make out my daughter does not wish for me to attend the meetings then the consultant psychiatrist should pick up the phone like the last one did and communicate directly with me to iron out any fears she may have. The team keep trying to involve Elizabeth making out she is on their side and even if she says things she is being forced to go along with what they want. Elizabeth is not happy to be on a section and I as the Nearest Relative can call the Tribunal to overturn this.

I have a good ideasince this crucial CPA meeting before the Tribunal should have my involvement as the Nearest Relative, Head Office could set up a video link to the ward in Wales so that I can attend Head Office instead. I think this is a great idea and would save me from having to book hotels on two occasions however it is only right that I should be allowed an advocate as a witness.

Anyway I shall contact them all next week copying in everyone and will need to have in writing from Cambian that they have or have not seen the supplements which cost £130 – I have been honest about this – I could have charged double for these supplements but the rest of the supplements are at home. If neither hospitals are prepared to accept liability then I need to take this up with Mr Lamb. It may not be much money but it is the principle that counts.

Anyway I have a journey to make today to a beautiful area near the sea and I am going to enjoy myself. There is nothing I can do at present to sort out this situation so there is no point in worrying about for the time being.

I am waiting to hear from Mr Lamb ‘s Office right now as I have mentioned about the therapeutic communities that are needed and wish for help in setting up Chy Sawel. I even made a call to someone listed on the business network in Wales to see if they could help me.

I am waiting to hear from the Daily Mail and hope those photos are good! I have been told I cannot choose them – I would also like to see their article. I am sure this is all very good and as I have said before I am delighted that a leading newspaper like this has taken an interest.

I will now telephone Elizabeth to see how she is.


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