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Monthly Archives: July 2013

Amanda has been in the news a lot lately and I cannot get over the ignorance of some people and especially those in the media.  It is unbelievable how cruel and ignorant some people are and I suggest they read the following books:   Dr Ann Blake Tracy – Prozac Panacea Pandora,  Dr Candace Pert, Molecules of Emotion,  Professor David Healy Pharmageddon and Dr William Walsh Nutrient Power.  I would also urge such people to look at Peter Breggin, Dr Joanne Moncrief

It is easy for someone to judge someone else without even meeting the person or their families.

When I met Amanda Bynes I found her extremely nice and very charming to my young daughter who from a very early age has wanted herself to go into acting however I would not wish her to go into such a profession having read the nasty bitchy comments.

Whatever Amanda may have posted on Twitter does not excuse such comments –   I feel sorry for her an her family having read that the care in the US is quite shocking as a whole.  However there are alternative care centres which is something this Country should be looking into.

 

I do not take Twitter or any other social media site very seriously.  In fact someone so it would seem – a complete stranger to me even questioned the fact I was “angry”.  I have learned that these professionals are always looking for some excuse in order to come out with ridiculous diagnoses.   I found this highly amusing.  

Everyone is entitled to their views and lots of people would not agree with me however  I am going to stick by my opinions that the care in the UK is cruel, abusive and mainly about drug pushing and ECT is given  – this and the drugs can be given under a section forcibly.  A patient can be held down and forced to take the drugs.  I do not know how any professional can do such a job.

It is very sad there is such ignorance in the world and in the UK it simply is not reported accurately.   I must check and make sure that the recent articles concerning myself have been corrected “I DID NOT AGREE  –  THIS IS A BIG MISTAKE TO SAY THAT I RELUCTANTLY AGREED FOR MEDICATION WHICH I CALL CHEMICALS OR DRUGS TO BE GIVEN TO MY YOUNGER DAUGHTER AS A CHILD.    In the files where I have criticised and stuck up for my daughter I have been viewed as a bad mother and they did a full child protection investigation behind my back on me.  Because I was outspoken against the drugging of my daughter as a child it did not go down well with the team.

 

The reason I am against the drugs is because in both cases counselling should have been given instead.   Even on 1mg of Rispiridal my daughter suffered withdrawal and it seemed to make her worse than ever.  I was shocked at the weight gain.  Anyway I would have liked more of a mention in the article about the drug Rispiridal and there is a Twitter Account I believe by the name of Johnson & Toxin and this is well worth looking at.  Of course I have complained about the drugs to the FDA who do nothing and Professor Healy is right I am sure these drugs are passed in a dubious manner as I have personally seen the shocking effects of them and I am not impressed.     As Dr Walsh says if someone is over methylated the drugs can actually make someone worse.   My daughter might also be suffering from Pyrrole Disorder.  I first had the tests done through Bio Lab when Elizabeth was on a local ward and now I have had them done again.  It is worth every penny to see as proof how these drugs are affecting my daughter and she is stooping and looking disabled.  She is in bed by 8.00 and feels dizzy.  She should be enjoying her life and has been made disabled.

 

I am  not shocked by the pictures of Amanda Bynes at all and I think it very nasty that they have been published and I am more worried that she will be sent to a shocking institution and be put on even worse chemicals.

I wish I could write to her parents and tell them to take her to see Dr Ann Blake Tracy and Dr Walsh of the Walsh Institute.  Dr Walsh will be coming up with the correct diagnosis and the correct treatment of nutrition.  I do not accept any of the labels especially Chronic Treatment Resistant.

 

Some people on Twitter are saying that I should be patient.   This is ridiculous as my daughter’s life is at risk.  Why on earth should I be patient when the care is appalling and has made my daughter worse than ever. 

 

The private hospital where she is now is better with the facilities however the care is just the same in terms of the drugs and I think it is wrong if staff are pushing and bossing my daughter around to get her to do things as how on earth do they know how she is feeling on 800mg of drugs a day. 

 

“You try taking them Mum”   –  well that says it all.

 

Because I have quite rightly spoken up for my daughter I have been treated like a criminal. 

I applaud those who speak out like Professor Healy and Dr Ann Blake Tracy.  There are others beginning to question things.  As I stood outside the Institute of Psychiatry a psychiatrist was just going in and took a look at my leaflet with all the 14 drugs or so they have experimented with on my daughter –  his comment was “you are right they do not work.

I am in touch with people who have never felt better now they are off the drugs.  However I still would not be telling anyone to stop taking them but what should be provided for is correct facilities.  It is dangerous to come off the drugs and the people I know who have done it have suffered terrible illness however if someone wants to come off them there should be the facility.  My campaign is about choice and the provision of therapeutic communities where former patients can be employed to help in a proper way like any professional.  Patients have a lot to offer and should not be discarded like rubbish.

 

The professionals just prescribe the drugs and administer them and then they do not see how these affect someone and how much they are suffering in some cases.

 

For those who the drugs work all well and good.  Dr Walsh points out in his book that they can work for some people BUT WHAT ABOUT MY DAUGHTER AND OTHERS LIKE HER – some on as much as 1300mg and in hospital who can barely move.

How can such abuse go on in a so called civilised country –  It would seem that the churches and religions of the world do not care about the plight of the most weak and vulnerable people on never ending sections.  Where are these churches in helping such people.  What are they doing to defend the patients – the answer is NOTHING.  Just like the Government there are connections to the pharmaceutical industry – they have abandoned my daughter and others like her. 

It is a paltry amount that carers get to look after someone at home – as my daughter says “there’s no place like home, Mum”  –  the law is manipulated and Tribunals dragged out.  So much for the team’s refusal of me having sight of documents.  Well I have everything ready for court now.  What is more I think these court cases should be made open and that is the whole problem with the current care system.  I am speaking openly and honestly about a subject that many people do not know about and in fact I myself knew nothing about the drugs, about the labelling.  I would advise everyone to take a look at the book DSM5.  (Diagnostic Statistical Manual).  I hope that the parents of Amanda Bynes take her to a therapeutic community such as Cooper RIIs, Alternative to Meds or Earth House and they consult Dr Walsh and Dr Tracy. 

 

I would further emphasise that my younger daughter suffered trauma and was diagnosed with Schizophrenia as a child and now is on top of the world – this shows that you cannot accept what some experts have to say and I have an interesting take of psychiatrists who say it takes 2 minutes to come up with a diagnosis – another one is stating that a psychiatrist with an empty practice is a psychiatrist without money.  Other experts talk about insurance as labelling is away to get money for benefits and a licence to drug.

I am never going to change my mind on my views here as I have done a lot of research into matters.

I also feel that an acute ward is no place for someone like my daughter or Amanda Bynes to get well and I hope her parents will look into things like I have done.

  

I have had calls two days running from Elizabeth – some weeks you hear nothing at all. I am not on the phone every minute to her but I do worry when I do not hear anything. If there was something seriously wrong I fear I would be the last person to know. Such is the ruling of confidentiality. I think the whole system is wrong here for there are certain things that a family would wish to know without a team having to make such a song and dance about. I am pretty sure that no one in the team wishes me to see the files. I had a good idea of the sort of thing that can be said behind your back as I have seen past files- however I am not going to worry myself about this for it does not bother me – the team do not know me. The Doctor has not once met me in person despite my daughter being admitted about a year ago. It has been referred in comment by the psychiatrist regarding my “past behaviour”. These comments are just an excuse not to invite me to meetings unlike the rest of the family and initially I was delighted my daughter was referred.

Anyway Elizabeth is clearly missing the family and home. Home though being London is hardly the place to get better as Elizabeth needs a more peaceful environment now. Elizabeth would need a lot of looking after in any case having been in hospital for a long time. I could not leave her in the house alolne but I doubt she will be allowed home – she would need intensive trauma therapy. It is important that Elizabeth becomes confident again and gets the kind of care not available locally, however the care I have seen is abroad in such centres like Earth House and Cooper Riis. I do not feel that it takes a professional to give all the care having seen the reaction of my daughter to have a neighbour knocking on her door asking her to come out for the day. This is the kind of support – friendship and peer support. Professionals I see as very controlling and I suppose they have to be to a certain extent in a hospital – that is why I am keen to see Elizabeth out of hospital – the longer she is in the harder it will be to rehabilitate her. A scheme where there are individual flats may be good for some people but I am keen to see that Elizabeth is not just put in a scheme like the last one. I have seen people go downhill, not eating well, drinking because of solitude and not being able to do basic tasks. Someone like Elizabeth has been made dependent on others and the answer is not that she becomes dependent on me either. However I worry and hope that things work out this time around as you read so many cases of abuse with people working with vulnerable adults and not all get in the papers. I know of cases personally. I also do not think a hospital is the right place for Elizabeth surrounded by other seriously ill patients probably sent there as a last resort.

Elizabeth asked after her pet cat and said she wished to come home but there is nothing I can do right now as we are waiting for the dates of the Tribunal. Things take so long in the UK and it is all very well for some people I am currently speaking to on Twitter to turn around and say things take time. I see it as lack of efficiency in my opinion. I do not agree that nothing could be done about this here and now to get things moving at least. What is wrong in just seeing how things work out with a centre like Chy Sawel being set up with funding an Dr Walsh and other doctors, some of whom are already signed up for the training being involved. What is wrong rather than keep someone in hospital for years and years on end at huge cost to the public.

I know other mothers who are desperate to see change as their sons are drugged up on such a high dosage and can hardly move themselves. I think it is disgusting that the UK allows this kind of treatment when there are possibly better alternatives with Dr Walsh coming over. The mothers I know are professional people – their sons/daughters coming from nice backgrounds.

What is wrong in seeing how a scheme like this works out with volunteers, with former patients being involved, with nutritionists working alongside Dr Walsh. It is easy to experiment on drug after drug at somewhere like the Bethlem however when these drugs do not work a fresh approach needs to be made and centres set up offering therapeutic care rather than forcing patients to take drugs and ECT.

For those patients who get on with the drugs and have had results from ECT – I am not criticising them in any way. If people are happy to take the drugs all well and good.

I am just saying that there are as many who are suffering from serious side effects and would like to see change and this could in turn save a lot of money to the NHS and public if proper centres were set up to help people like this instead of forcing them to forever take the drug that is affecting them badly.

Drugs mask the problem and if that person has been abused or suffered terrible trauma then the drugs will not work and should only be used short term. It is wrong of a psychiatrist to say you have to be on the drugs for the rest of your life however coming off the drugs are dangerous and I would not recommend this to anyone stopping their medication. However if professionals were involved and specialist centres set up then a better look at overall health including nutrition could be the answer. In the UK they do not seem to know how to reduce someone properly in any case and this is where people like Dr Ann Blake Tracy should be involved. Extensive tests like the ones I have had done at the Bio Lab should be given to those patients who do not get on with the drugs and then a choice of care offered. I disagree that such changes cannot be brought about sooner rather than years and years ahead. I and all the other mothers would be more than happy to help implement much needed changes.

I would also like to see the courts involving mental health cases to be open as the public have a right to know what is going on.

I did not know whether Mr Asaria would bother to phone me as I had trouble in even being acknowledged and getting past his PA. However I was pleasantly surprised today when first thing in the morning as promised Mr Asaria did in fact telephone me and dead on time. I would have preferred a visit but this is better than nothing.

I am a firm believer that communication is so very important and how you deal with someone can have either bad or good effect. For instance even is someone cannot give you the answer you need they bother to telephone you. At the weekend I came across a good example of communication under Cambian. My daughter Elizabeth telephoned me to say she had a lump on her head and had been referred to a doctor. I was naturally concerned as no one had said anything but it is all down to confidentiality and that can mean that the family and in my case Nearest Relative do not get to hear vital information. Anyway I telephoned the hospital and a nurse responded to me in a very nice manner unlike some of the response I have had in the past. This nurse obviously had to check with my daughter first before disclosing information but did not make a song and dance over it. I felt that I was treated well.

Also I felt that Mr Asaria dealt with me well too but whether or not he chooses to defend his staff and take sides is another matter as I have seen very defensive behaviour from teams when mistakes have been made and have had very negative responses when the team all try and stick together. I would respect honesty and even if a mistake had been made to own up to it or at least be honest. I am not the kind of person who would just go out there and get a solicitor and take someone to court just like that – the chance would be a fine thing anyway the law is heavily stacked against the weak and vulnerable and it is near impossible to find a lawyer to represent you beyond Tribunal level under mental health. What means far more to m e than any level of so called compensation I/my daughter may be entitled to is good communication. What more can you wish for than proper communication and this is something hard to find under the mental health system.

I appreciate there are many who would like to see change and I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of the worst kind of bullying and that is exclusion. I would rather be called all the names under the sun than suffer this kind of bullying where no one communicates and they erase you from the life of the person you care for even though you may have been distanced from that person. It is harmful trying to get a weakened patient surrounded by the team to take sides against her mother but this has been going on. I am not interested in any team member being reprimanded on this score – all I want is for changes to be made and instead of playing on capacity and confidentiality like they have been against the reforms that Mr Norman Lamb and David Behan want to bring about, it would be nice for the team to be open and honest and provide the next best thing to what is going on in Tornio Finland where they have 95% success rate. Families can often be the cause of distress to the person who is mentally ill but sometimes something may have happened outside of the family in terms of trauma – either way nothing is to be resolved by the current system of exclusion and trying to get rid of the mother as the Nearest Relative without even speaking to that person honestly and openly expressing their views.

I can honestly and openly tell each and every one of you the reason they want rid of me as the Nearest Relative is not because I have abused my daughter but because of my views on the drugs concerned. They think I will influence my daughter to stop taking the drugs or encourage her. Well I am not a doctor so I could not do this. I would not be able to cope and my daughter could die in coming off the level of drugs she is on . She is on the third most dangerous drug Clozapine and all I want is for her to not be held forever on a section that could go on 20 yrs or more as I know some people are stuck in this rotten awful system – not because they are a risk but because there is NOTHING in terms of decent supportive care. I then went on to speak to Mr Asaria about therapeutic communities as this is the answer. I would also like proper assessments done and that is why I have had private tests done which prove the drugs are doing harm and therefore a fresh approach needs to be made as far as nutrition goes. Yes it does work as I appointed private orthomolecular psychiatrist qualified to give both drugs and other therapies. I have never seen my daughter look so happy. I am thrilled that HRH Prince Charles has spoken out. I had written to him personally about my daughter’s shocking care at the Bethlem – it means so much that he has spoken out on this subject and he is quite correct. I saw a marked improvement – just to listen to my daughter saying how happy she was to not be dismissed. That says it all but then I was banned from the scheme when I spotted an email asking her social worker to be reduced off the drugs – none of my influence whatsoever in this and I demanded a copy. It was then difficult to administer the private prescription from the private orthomolecular doctor I appointed myself and it was for this reason I had to give up my police training as this clashed with the course I was on.

I congratulate Mr Asaria for listening politely to what I had to say – a mere mother but one who is prepared to speak out and fight to get changes implemented. I am not a professional but am in touch with some who have given me wonderful advice and led me to research into the drugs and what is available in terms of care and there is certainly a void in care. People kept on a section for years on end cannot manage in the community but why on earth should they be confined to a hospital when there should be choice and alternatives. These patients are written off as nothing when I do not believe that anyone should be written off. I believe that there could be more done to provide a choice in care not based on research but based on a patient’s wishes as at the end of the day everyone is individual and not everyone gets on with the drugs. Not everyone responds well to the shocking care on acute wards. Some patients like my daughter need peace and quiet to get well and rebuilt their confidence with peer support rather than strict domineering control of professionals and I am not for one minute saying all professionals are bad but I want patients included and to be made to feel worthwhile and not just written off and made to feel like nothing as I do as the mother they want rid of.

I hope that Mr Asaria does not just discount my comments and it leads to a bitter battle in court – whilst this is a secret court which I disagree with I think the public should know what is going on after all it is provided by public money. I just want things to be fair from now on that is all.

You are overturning the apple cart.
I have to watch my reputation in here.
It is very strict, Mum, you have to go along with the team. I have my reputation to watch. Don’t embarrass me Mum things get back to me.
Dr ………………….said ………………………………………… (cannot disclose prior to court)
Dr …………………. said ………………………………………….. (cannot disclose prior to court)
Letter received from Manager of Hospital – stating supervised calls at Elizabeths request on a weekly basis.
“Don’t tell your mother” In relation to a visit to her grandparents where I was excluded.
Why have I got all these letters from Welsh solicitors, Mum?
“you are interfering with the care, Mum – everything you say gets back to me”.
“I’ve got to go now”
“I am on 15 minute watch”
“You don’t know how things are in here”
“I am not allowed out without a member of staff accompanying me”
“how is Fluffy the cat”
“I miss home and I miss you Mum”
“I’ve got to go now”
“It has not been possible to connect your call” “Has anyone discouraged you from speaking to me” “Yes ……………but I cannot say whom”.

“Do you really want your Mum to be the Nearest Relative”

I have not heard from my daughter Elizabeth all week. The phone does not ring these days – the conversations are awkward like never before.

I am not the only one experiencing this – the rest of the family have said the same and they were favoured by the team but lately they do not get invited to the CPAs either.

I am not the only one who has experienced this.

Phone forever charging in the office at one point.

It is for a reason that a patient is moved far away from home and family and that is to take complete control and to sever family relationships. This is not what Elizabeth would have wanted and even if she is brainwashed into saying things against me as a mother I understand that she is under pressure.

When you complain the team then make out it is the wish of that person and I understand how intimidating it must be for my daughter to be faced with a team who are against me as a mother.

I can honestly say this is true as I now have the paperwork to back up my claims.

Instead of working with you as a parent, picking up the phone and speaking to you, instead of letting you know even basic information like Elizabeth had a nice day – there is silence. You cannot always get through on the phone and if the mobile is not answered you have to wait on the other end of the phone.

Yesterday I was in Whole Foods and tried to organise some food to be delivered as I do not see my daughter that often but unfortunately this could not be done. I then thought of a plant but the nice plants were not in plastic pots which would not be allowed on the ward. Instead I had some photos done of the cat. Right from the very beginning it was evident I was being excluded by the team. It then came out when my solicitors were appointed that all the time they were trying to get me replaced. Well I am not surprised they want me replaced as I have knowledge of the drugs and have appointed a good representative in court. However even that is not guarantee to get the section released and she could be stuck in hospital for years to the point of being very much disabled.

I would not be writing these truthful comments openly for everyone to read if I had been included and if the team had communicated openly and honestly with me from the beginning.

I have also taken to Twitter to discuss openly and honestly a subject that is not treated openly and honestly. Little do the public know the full facts and what is really going on.

There is much in the way of secrecy and cover up when you are dealing with mental health patients in particular confidentiality and capacity are played upon to exclude families. This is particularly evident if you dare to disagree with the care.

Elizabeth is under private sector care funded by the Local Authority and it must be costing a fortune and in addition she has two social workers as well. These social workers do not pick up the phone and communicate. They spend all their time going to meetings and discussing you behind your back so it would appear. I have asked who my daughter’s new social worker is but my email has been ignored. The social services make out they do not know what is going on but I know someone from the local area has been attending the meetings at the hospital and then they make out they know nothing. Well I have invited myself to the next CPA – three emails have been ignored and then I pressed for the date and time and finally got a response however I had to then check that I was allowed to go as this response did not give that impression.

Anyway, the facilities and the “care” in terms of outings and food – well this is a world apart from the local facilities. The fact is to refer someone to a private hospital such as this is I believe a last resort when everything has failed which it has done.

My criticism is not of the nurses as they are just doing their job but my criticism lies with the drugs which are continually given on a daily basis at 800mg and one is off label for so called weight loss not tried and tested. My criticism is with the person/people who are behind the distancing of relationships as I see.

I have the legal papers that state clearly that I am not fit to be nearest relative and this is because I have shown opposition to the drugs being given. This is because my daughter has had 14 mind altering drugs and yet still comes out with comments that reveal she remembers way back. The drugs mask the problem and simply have not worked as the underlying causes have not been addressed properly. Physically we have all noticed my daughter is going downhill. I also have private test results to prove this.

The longer spent at this hospital the more dependant but the team do not care as it is about control and money – the longer someone is under their “care” the better as money is being provided for this purpose and that person cannot then just return back to the local area/environment – there are a lack of suitable facilities in the community in this country and something should be done about it.

A hospital is not a good place to get better however Elizabeth would need one to one care.

What mother would be happy for someone to remain under the care of a hospital when you get to hear things said behind your back that are not very nice.

It is a shame this sort of thing goes on and I am not alone here either.

I am being more outspoken than most because I would like to see change In the current system and I am not the only one. I am in touch with many mothers in the same position. The taxpayer is paying a fortune for the forgotten “victims of the pharmaceutical industry” who are on never ending sections yet are not violent in many cases. Noone should be written up as treatment resistant. If there were decent places such as Chy Sawel and Root and Branch etc then there would be no problems. Places where patients are treated with respect not like currently are available.

I have had letters sent privately from readers of my blog which I would not disclose which are truly shocking.

I have had supportive comments and critical as well. I do not mind criticism at all – it is a good thing to speak openly and honestly. This is precisely what is wrong with the current care system – lack of honest and open communication.

I would like to see those patients who are locked away, not violent but in hospital forever being given the support they need in the community but this of course would require funding but how much does it cost to keep them in hospital with the only care of drugs and what cost will this be to the NHS when that person becomes physically ill. There are many people trapped on never ending sections and Tribunals are dragged out and manipulated – costing the public money. Elizabeth’s Tribunal should have taken place much much earlier. The issues have been on changing solicitors to that recommended by the hospital. There was no way on earth Elizabeth herself would have changed a perfectly good local firm of solicitors if it was not for the team’s influence. That is because she had given consent for me to see information but all I was interested in was the drugs however the team did not want me to have any information at all. If there was something major wrong that Elizabeth actually had diabetes for instance this is another reason the team do not want me to see the files and have ignored previous consents from Elizabeth in this respect.

Then came the delays in Elizabeth agreeing to the independent doctor coming to see her and the involvement of Dr Walsh for private tests. It took a visit from her sister which immediately brought about agreement as Elizabeth is not happy being on a section – the team tried to make out she was undecided all the time about the independent doctor visiting. This must be wasting a lot of public money. So all along Elizabeth has been deprived of the holistic care choice of Wales and forced to take the drugs prescribed by the Bethlem even though one is being given off label-not even tried and tested for the purpose.

The last time I spoke to Elizabeth she felt “up and down”. Now the rest of the family are concerned having seen what they think is Elizabeth declining. She suffers regular panic attacks and anxiety.

The team would love it if I was to come along to their CPA and in the slightest way show that I am distressed or unhappy. If I was to do that then they would immediately put a stop to me having contact making out that it was affecting Elizabeth.

This team has not worked with the family as a whole especially me from the very beginning.

This team could be goverened by behaving in such a way as social services/local Primary Care Trust locally are funding things. Either way I could not help but detect that there was awkwardness about the situation some members of staff were placed in but they have to go along with orders or else – or else they will be subject to bullying like I have. Exclusion = bullying.

Meanwhile I will end with the comments of my daughter:

“there is no place like home, Mum”

No doubt Elizabeth under pressure from a team who do not like me may have come out with other comments against me which could be used as a tool by the team to further distance me in hoping I would step back as a mother. I have parts of the file going right back so I know what goes on – questions by the team prompting an answer such as “does your mother hit you?” If someone then replies yes that has gone on then the team do not question the patient however in an environment such as a hospital a patient is put under pressure and when such comments were evident in the file and shown by her sister, Elizabeth admitted there was no truth in these comments at all but at the time of being asked by the professional she was angry as she felt I had put her in hospital. I have heard comments “You’ve put me here” more than once but that is not the case and Elizabeth has blocked memory as to what exactly happened – events leading up to admission. Negative comments in any form against me as a mother will no doubt be used in court – court that is held in secret – how fair is such a system where courts are held in secret?

I hope this blog highlights what is wrong with the system as it stands. It is all down to communication and should not depend on whether a doctor or a professional likes you or not.

There is so much in the legal papers that are untrue – I think I know everything without even having access to the files apart from if they are giving extra drugs on top – the problem the team have with me is I am not in favour of the drugging of my daughter but that does not mean I would encourage her to stop or attempt to take her off them. They are just using this a one big excuse in my opinion and I am bringing out into the open the kind of cases brought in secrecy under mental health tribunal and I am getting a lot of support from patients/mothers and even some experts.

Anyway I now have a lot to sort out and will be going to my meeting later today and also I have the old lady to think of right now to try and get something sorted out about wishes which would need assistance as her wish is for help to be able to walk again and that would involve moving furniture.

Since writing this I have heard from Elizabeth and rang her back. I was worried on hearing that a lump was discovered on her head but when I rang the hospital they did not say it was anything serious but it certainly gave me a lot to think of – if something serious was to happen to Elizabeth at Cambian I wonder if I would be informed as all the time there has been virtually no information given directly and you only get to hear things indirectly. Like at the Bethlem when an emergency doctor was called out -not one member of staff bothered to ring you – I only got to hear via Elizabeth herself.

When a team do not like you, you know this as their way of dealing with you is one of exclusion. Then the team will involve the patient as an excuse. A patient can feel intimidated into going along with whatever the team want and if a team headed by a psychiatrist who does not like you feels that it is best to have less contact then the team take the phone away and it is forever charging in the office.

I noticed a drastic change in everything the minute Elizabeth was transferred miles away from home to Cambian who have won Best Care Provider two years running 2012 and 2013.

Despite my feelings about the Bethlem Elizabeth had her telephone and was constantly texting me. All this has now ceased.

A patient is weakened and vulnerable on 800mg of mind altering drugs ie 300mg Clozapine which is highly sedatory and 500mg of Metformine (given off label so they say for weight loss, however Dr Ann Blake Tracy says it is to counteract diabetes (protection for themselves) the team are adamant she does not have diabetes but then again I have not seen the file. This was another thing that the hospital stepped in to ensure I had no access to the files – again this was done by using my daughter as the tool in terms of manipulation as Elizabeth had already given consent on more than one occasion at the Bethlem and each time access was denied. If the team have written nasty things about me as a mother like I have seen in previous files again they are protecting themselves or else maybe they do not want me to see if there is something seriously wrong. Elizabeth was always quite open and told me that emergency doctors had come out to her at the time she was put on Clozapine. The team can exercise secrecy as when they do not want you included they just ignore you and concentrate on others in the family who are not outspoken and favoritise.

People have said to me that you have to toe the line with the team and act in a certain way so as not to upset them however they are the professionals and I am the mother. They are the ones benefitting from having my daughter and others under their care and the more disabled they are the better.

The more someone is drugged up and like a zombie the easier it is for the team to control that person.

I have once or twice telephoned Elizabeth and she has not been happy – she has said “I do not know what to do with myself, Mum” “you put me here” – well these last comments are not true because the team placed my daughter miles away from home but I must admit I did want her out of the Bethlem in desperation to the hospital she is currently under as I had read such wonderful things. However I did not know she would be so far away from home for a start. They have better facilities for sure and are in a better location, more peaceful that London, I do not think Elizabeth is happy certainly due to the fact she is on section – treated like a prisoner and she has admitted to feeling up and down. She has said things like the Doctor is protecting her – I have heard third party via her sister some other very disturbing comments too. The problem is the team are very loyal and I think afraid to speak out because otherwise they would lose their jobs. Some of the nurses openly praised the doctor concerned however I have now got the evidence to go before the court.

I have today written an email copying everyone in including social services at local level and the Head Office of Cambian who appear not to care less. The last time I spoke to Elizabeth she said she wished I could be there at the next CPA – I have never once been invited to a CPA or included unlike other family members from the very beginning, from well before I started writing on my blog. I had so far been writing about the Bethlem but the doctor concerned has highly praised this hospital as being worldwide renowned and that is where in one conversation I noticed she brought the discussion to an abrupt halt. I was denied everything but escorted and supervised visits and then on complaining about the phone I received a letter stating supervised phone calls at a time I could not ring at the request of my daughter and she has said in front of the family that this was not true. In fact all the time she was texting. It is only now that the texts have stopped and the conversation was last awkward as though she was in a hurry to get off the phone “I must go now” At Xmas Elizabeth was brought down like a prisoner by two nurses escorted all the time and I did a party for her with people present who have known her since a baby. The two nurses who were very nice were no doubt there to report back to this doctor on anything negative which would have led to a ban on my daughter seeing me. Elizabeth had just 3 hours and spent most of the time travelling in the car. The same visit was provided to the rest of the family but without the escorts staying all the time. Then on her Birthday only the rest of the family saw my daughter – I was not included at all and my younger daughter was told not to tell me. Briefly a change in doctor was provided at Cambian and this doctor was very nice and returned my calls. He may not have agreed with me but still allowed the assessment to be done at the Bio Lab for Dr Walsh as I was most concerned about the drugs being given. Many psychiatrists stick together and back one another in terms of prescription drugs – however some are beginning to question whether they do in fact work and the risk factors involved. I very much appreciated the way this doctor responded to me and communicated effectively.

I have been trying to find out about the date/time of the CPA but no one has responded after 3 requests which led me to contact Head Office who have also ignored me but today finally I have that information but have yet to hear from social services. There is a wall of silence there. There is also a wall of silence at Cambian’s Head Office. I thought that if the team did not want me present at the CPA that I could have a video link or conference call arranged through head office so that I could join in the meeting but it is bad when Head Office do not return calls, dismiss you like you are nothing. If I was a celebrity that would be a different matter. So this is the reason why the team want to keep my daughter – so they can continue drugging her on the same level of drugs prescribed by the Bethlem regardless of her health or anything else. A section makes it easier for the team to do whatever they like as this is the law of the UK and the professionals are clearly above the law. It is no wonder they can laugh. The reason the team do not like me is because I have been outspoken against the drugs but my daughter was put on this so called wonder drug Clozapine against her wishes and I complained at the Bethlem – “I have heard all about your past behaviour” – these are comments said by the current doctor when I ran down the Bethelm.

I feel the team are distancing the relationship between myself and my daughter and no doubt would be happy if I was not around. I know for a fact that they wish me not to be the nearest relative and think of me as an unfit. As an “unfit” mother I have gone out of my way to research all the dangerous drugs my daughter has been on. I now have strong evidence I cannot disclose in my blog prior to the forthcoming court case. I have also gone out of my way to find good representation in court. All the advice I obtained was from professional experts but the team just like the Bethlem are not interested.

My concern is that if the team carry on as they are doing giving drugs at this level I will lose my daughter.

I think the whole care system in the UK is rotten and rife with bullying – these the drugs are like a life sentence and given to someone who may have been suffering trauma as a result of a terrible incident for instance instead of trauma therapy. The drugs and care received by my daughter have not only destroyed her but affected the whole family. The whole family are lately concerned by what they witness as decline. I have always questioned the labels and the fact she did not seem to benefit from any of the drugs – they have made her worse. At 26 my daughter should be enjoying herself but cannot do much as she has been made disabled on a cocktail of toxic drugs. There is nothing I can do – I would not say this to my daughter as it would only upset her and neither would I encourage her to stop taking them as I know she could die as a result. A section can be extended for 9 years and the longer the more institutionalised someone becomes to the point they become completely helpless and disabled.

It is shocking there are no facilities to help someone be reduced if a drug is not working in the UK. It is shocking that the care means another drug has to be given in place rather than a proper drug free period. Prof Robin Murray promised a drug free period of assessment but instead she got Clozapine and I was told “you should have done your research – it is all about Clozapine here” – I cannot do anything for Elizabeth right now but fear she is not going to get better if a doctor is working against me rather than with me. I am disappointed with everything as this was not what I was expecting.

Anyway, I have not been refused the chance to go to the CPA on this occasion but this has come about in such a way that is so very sad and I wish I could move to Finland where I know my daughter would receive good care in a place called Tornio and I would be truly happy as a mother as they have open dialogue there and it is no wonder they have such a high success rate. Unlike in the UK families are included.

Lastly I think that therapeutic communities could be the answer to help some that are classed as untreatable providing they have a lot of support and I would like to see more patient involvement. Whilst a therapeutic community may not work for everyone same as the drugs, same as the acute wards, this would give much needed choice to patients and if they could model this on Finland, Tornio’s success with open dialogue and include families instead of exclude then I would be truly happy.

Since writing this I have heard from Head Office and hope to speak to Mr Asaria on Monday.

I had a great time last night at a concert in Hyde park where myself and a work colleague attended. I could temporarily forget my problems which was a good thing. On a beautiful evening Hyde Park was full up and I felt sorry for Elton John who due to illness was unable to perform at this event. We saw Elvis Costello who was good and after this we noticed another smaller stage and lively performance which culminated in a steel band and wonderful carnival atmosphere with wonderful costumes you would see at Notting Hill Carnival – I could not believe I was in London as all I see every day in miserable faces on the tube and I certainly do not see such a happy atmosphere on a daily basis. We then briefly saw Ray Davies/The Kinks before leaving but unfortunately the signposting was not very good and myself and my colleague got quick a shock when we wandered right into the Gents open air toilet – we were shown the way out by security but they need to do something about their sign posting that is for sure but that was my only complaint! Elizabeth once would have enjoyed such an event but now it would not be possible for her to go as she would suffer a panic attack with the crowds present – it would be too much for her to enjoy yet the one thing she does enjoy is music – what a shame she is missing out on so much of her life – she has even commented these words to me “I feel I am missing out on my life, Mum”. “All I have is my music”. Elizabeth’s music may not be to my taste any more and her favourite type of music is more rock music but she would have enjoyed the carnival – in fact the whole event before she became so very ill and there was so much choice of food you could buy there but we had gone to a restaurant beforehand and could not face any more food.

Today I am going to a friend’s house for a Barbeque. The friends have known Elizabeth for a long time and she once babysat for their younger son. Unfortunately now Elizabeth could never do such a thing but she have always loved children and animals. It is hard as a mother to think that it is unlikely she could ever be a mother herself on all these drugs – Elizabeth was once living a normal life before being put on 14 mind altering drugs and given so many different labels.

Anyway, the barbeque does not start until later so that has given me time to catch up on all the housework which I have done and to visit the old lady who I used to look after. The old lady lives at the top of a block of flats and does not have her family around her to care for her. I was doing a lot for her at one time tying in shopping and housework which I did voluntarily amongst looking after my father who had Alzheimers and my younger daughter who had been sectioned with Schizophrenia (but who is now on top of the world). So today I will visit with a sample of linos which I promised some time back to bring her to look at in order to replace her carpet. The old lady does not want to move and now has carers that go in on a daily basis but she sleeps in her chair night and day despite a bed but the bed is not being used as the old lady likes to go to bed late and no carers are around to put her to bed at midnight or so. There is little I can do myself as I work full time and am swamped with my own problems but this weekend I shall take some dinner.

It is good that a date for the Tribunal has been finally set after all this time. I have decided to get the whole team together and copy in everyone in emails so that everyone knows what is going on including my solicitor as I feel there has been a lack in communication in the past. I have done this to the social workers (2 of them). Suddenly it appears that one social worker does not want to be connected to the case any more or has been replaced. I must find out who the new second social worker is. The email I received just as I was leaving work was that please do not copy me in. It is a reasonable request as I have been trying to find out the details of the CPA that Elizabeth specially told me she wants me to attend.

The Consultant Psychiatrist at Cambian is unavailable for the alternative date of the Tribunal which I had hoped to tie in with the CPA but never mind I will have to go down twice if need me or else perhaps Head Office (Mr Asaria – CEO) can help me. If I have written 3 times asking for information and have received none then I feel that Head Office should be helping me and it is certainly convenient for me to call in any time as they are down the road. Apparently I just missed Mr Asaria – his secretary tried to say he was out but the receptionist said I had just missed him – all I wanted was an appointment to see Mr Asaria that would not have taken more than 15 minutes of his time. Now I have more serious issues. The National Psychosis Unit have just written to me to say that they packed the supplements. Cambian have found the oils but where are the supplements? At one time Cambian was short of the fish oil capsules – luckily since the Bethlem did not return my invoice I have a copy. I not only want the supplements replaced but the mauve blanket.

If the consultant psychiatrist is worried about me coming on the ward then at least she should be honest and say exactly so to my face instead of trying to make out my daughter does not wish for me to attend the meetings then the consultant psychiatrist should pick up the phone like the last one did and communicate directly with me to iron out any fears she may have. The team keep trying to involve Elizabeth making out she is on their side and even if she says things she is being forced to go along with what they want. Elizabeth is not happy to be on a section and I as the Nearest Relative can call the Tribunal to overturn this.

I have a good ideasince this crucial CPA meeting before the Tribunal should have my involvement as the Nearest Relative, Head Office could set up a video link to the ward in Wales so that I can attend Head Office instead. I think this is a great idea and would save me from having to book hotels on two occasions however it is only right that I should be allowed an advocate as a witness.

Anyway I shall contact them all next week copying in everyone and will need to have in writing from Cambian that they have or have not seen the supplements which cost £130 – I have been honest about this – I could have charged double for these supplements but the rest of the supplements are at home. If neither hospitals are prepared to accept liability then I need to take this up with Mr Lamb. It may not be much money but it is the principle that counts.

Anyway I have a journey to make today to a beautiful area near the sea and I am going to enjoy myself. There is nothing I can do at present to sort out this situation so there is no point in worrying about for the time being.

I am waiting to hear from Mr Lamb ‘s Office right now as I have mentioned about the therapeutic communities that are needed and wish for help in setting up Chy Sawel. I even made a call to someone listed on the business network in Wales to see if they could help me.

I am waiting to hear from the Daily Mail and hope those photos are good! I have been told I cannot choose them – I would also like to see their article. I am sure this is all very good and as I have said before I am delighted that a leading newspaper like this has taken an interest.

I will now telephone Elizabeth to see how she is.

A date for the Tribunal has been virtually set and I have had to fit in with the team of Cambian as the Consultant Psychiatrist seemed unkeen to accommodate my younger daughter’s request but we have had to work round this as a family and the entire family want to be there for this occasion to support Elizabeth. Three times now I have heard nothing – no response to my emails from Cambian in Wales and this has led me to finding out the email address of the other social worker (my daughter has 2) and I understand these social workers attend such meetings on occasions but never once has anyone invited me. Well Elizabeth has said openly that she wants me to attend the CPA meeting and I have written three times now. Bearing in mind the convenient location of Cambian’s Head Office I am not too worried about the wall of silence as I can pop down there every day if necessary. Even though I am far from happy with the goings on at Cambian and social services it is not my intention just to go down there to complain – I want to meet the Chief Executive Officer and all the staff. If the consultant psychiatrist has a problem with me attending the CPA – it may be because she is afraid of me (don’t know why when I just want to sort things out openly and honestly) – it may be that she just does not like me at all and certainly has come out with some choice words which have got back to me. I understand she has also used a not so complimentary word to describe Dr Ann Blake Tracy who has given me huge advice. Anyway I am more concerned that she has tried to influence my daughter against me as Nearest Relative – I think this is terrible and she has gone beyond her duties as a doctor to do this. She has referred to my “past behaviour” and I would like to know more about these comments as this could have been derived from the previous hospital The Bethlem. If there are things written about me then I have a right to know about them. I do not care if the comments are totally uncomplimentary – I would rather this than secrecy any day as I respect honesty. I do not feel I have had honesty with the team at Cambian or the Bethlem but I cannot comment on Head Office. They may be oblivious to these problems going on and all I want to do is to try and sort things out as the Nearest Relative.

So I have the email address of Mr Asaria, CEO. I wrote and requested an appointment when I heard nothing once again from Cambian in Wales. I was told by his PA he was out and could not see me but I was in the area of Fulham Reach and decided to call in to their plush offices today in my lunch hour. All I wanted was to make an appointment but his PA did not even bother to come down or bother to speak to me on the telephone. I would never be dismissive like this in such a position. I did not expect to see Mr Asaria as she said he was out however the receptionist told me had just missed him – what a shame as I would have liked to have introduced myself to him. I did get a response from the social worker – one of them “you are welcome!” in response to my email stating thanks for passing on the email address of the other social worker. I explained that now I was in touch with everyone there would be less likelihood of such shocking communication errors occurring again such as when the Tribunal was arranged and everyone knew – the entire team except for me. I am keen to rectify such errors so that they do not happen again through lack of communication. Now I am in touch with Mr Asaria’s office I am waiting for a date and time in order to meet with him and I have suggested after work. I will give them a day to decide on this before contacting them again and a further visit to their office. In fact I found it an extremely pleasant walk and once again my thoughts turned to Elizabeth and how much she would have liked it there where they are building luxury flats – you do not think you are in the heart of London – whoever decided on that as a location for Cambian’s Office – I commend them.

Anyway, I am happy a date has been set but am waiting for Cambian to let me know the details of the CPA – I have not once been invited to such a CPA and if they really don’t want me there then Cambian at Head office should do like a video link to include me in the CPA – as Nearest Relative it is important that I know what is going on as this will be discussions about the section and where my daughter will be placed and so they would concern me. The entire family are very concerned about Elizabeth right now and do not feel she is getting any better – in a hospital environment – it is not good – if she was in the therapeutic community I feel this would be great which is supposed to give more one to one care but in a hospital such as Cambian it is strict control – Elizabeth is not allowed out to go to the shops on her own even – it is even stricter than Prison and what on earth is my daughter doing on such a prison sentence when it is not her fault. She has been described as “a victim of the pharmaceutical industry” – she has been used as a human guinea pig and her behaviour in the past was caused by the drugs and not her so called conditions of which she has several. I only had to look at her eyes, completely dilated and her moods would vary whilst on the drugs. I have seen the effects of psychosis and watched the suffering of my daughter. Noone will ever take responsibility for their mistakes and it is far easier to carry on with more of the same treatment not thinking about what can be done to improve things and give humane care as opposed to the current “care” of enforced drugging and CTOs. I am in touch patients who are off the drugs now but have suffered extensively and have long term health problems as a result. I would describe the current system as cruel, abusive, wicked and evil -against human rights.

I am campaigning for better mental health care and think that therapeutic communities could provide the answer with peer support and a look at decent nutrition and diet according to the assessments by Dr William Walsh and with the correct help a patient can be then on the minimal rather than maximum drugs. This would be a better solution that keeping someone on an extremely high dosage, shortening their lives by 20 yrs or more and causing long term health problems.

Elizabeth has ballooned in weight, She is stooping and looks disabled now. She suffers panic attacks – the whole family who were once in favour of the professionals and their “care” are now concerned because of what they quite rightly see as decline. What is not provided is a decent carers allowance that allows people to survive but even then it may not be the best option for someone to live at home. Elizabeth needs to have support outside the family but try finding anywhere decent and a hospital is not decent in terms of getting better. The same patients return time and time again to the wards as I have seen but I want Elizabeth never to return to the wards. I want her to be free – I want her to have one to one support for a while and I think it quite right that this should be provided as the care has failed her and made her disabled. There is no way she should be kept in a hospital for years on end at huge expense to the public – this is why it is important that there is communication.

People may say that perhaps I am the one causing the lack of communication – in answer to this I would point out I was originally overjoyed she was sent to Cambian as she was most disturbed at the Bethlem. The only thing is the distance and we do not see much of her but I did not bargain for the way I have been treated by the team and have been made to feel like a criminal. I am not alone with this bullying in mind and that is why I have decided to document it – Other mothers who have been quiet are still treated like dirt.

The answer is not to be quiet but speak out about this if things are ever to improve and I want to meet Mr Asaria as soon as possible. I want to show him the book by Dr Walsh especially bearing in mind the new law in Wales which my daughter is being deprived of ie holistic care. Mr Asaria should send doctors to the new Chy Sawel Conference as Dr Walsh is looking for 20 to train up. In fact he himself should go to this wonderful event.

Once again though I would point out as I have done on numerous occasions to the team that I am just a mother who would not attempt to take my daughter off the drugs and feel this should be done in the right environment under a professional doctor – I am not qualified to do this and neither would I encourage her to stop taking them – sadly she could die if she stopped taking these highly dangerous drugs and Clozapine is the third most dangerous drug apparently. Having said all of this there should be such facilities provided. Choice should be given – for instance some patients who may be under-methylated get on with the drugs whereas others do not. Such problems would not arise if Dr Walsh was to do the assessments and this is why I have turned to him – I was most impressed by his research – what has Elizabeth got to lose when an expert looks at nutritioln and correct diet. There is not one facility in the whole of the UK that helps someone come off the drugs if they are having adverse reactions and this is a disgrace – what if errors have been made for instance when someone is multiply diagnosed – Dr Tracy could help with her advice there. That is what makes the care cruel and inhumane as many people have been pushed these drugs and not told the risks from the very beginning then they are told they have to be on them for the rest of their lives. Like any drugs, withdrawal has to be done very slowly and gradually however the Bethlem did it by 150mg and mixed with another drug leading to the section and this is why everything is so very unfair and cruel.

I do not intend to sit back and do nothing and I think a hospital who have won Best Care Provider 2012 as well as 2013 should at least get back to me but they are ignoring my calls and dismissing me and the more they do this, the more it will look bad on them as far as I am concerned and the more visits they will get from me that is for sure.

The photographer from the Daily Mail came to see me today and took photos in the garden – it has been beautiful weather all day long. I am thrilled that a leading newspaper such as this has taken interest but would have liked even more included in the proposed article. There are many people I know who would love to speak to the Daily Mail themselves about the abuse they have encountered both patients and carers themselves.

Now I am not alone in the house and have been interrupted several times as I had to quickly tidy up the house before this photographer arrived. I have been accused of losing the remote control, papers and various other items and my thoughts are that these things should not have been left lying around by other people in the first place. I refuse to look for another item that may be missing from now on.

I hope these photos are good and that the photographer takes into account my request – unfortunately I do not get a choice of which photo is going to be used.

Anyway after that took place I then decided to phone Elizabeth. I was disappointed to hear that Elizabeth has not been out all day. On a day like this she is on the ward!

This enforces my belief that Elizabeth should be out in the fresh air and certainly not in rigid and strictly controlled environment such as Cambian. I thought there was patient involvement but they do not even involve carers let alone patients. Anyway this is wrong and something should be done about it.

I have written twice to ask when the CPA is and have not had any replies. It would be good for this to be arranged in line with the Tribunal. The whole family want to come down for the Tribunal to support Elizabeth. I have heard Cambian like to keep people a long time and 3 yrs is far too long especially when Elizabeth is starting to lose confidence however finding the right place in the environment is crucial but how can the family present their ideas and thoughts when the team have excluded everyone.

I have said to Mr Lamb at the Institute of Psychiatry that the failure of care at local level has led to this move miles away from home but I apparently am not alone. I know of other mothers who are faced with this situation and are deeply unhappy about it. Mr Lamb mentioned had I not discussed this with my local MP however this system is not working either. If a local MP says he cannot help you then you have to go to a higher level. I have found out that the complaints procedure is not effective – nothing has been achieved except when it was under Healthcare Commission and referring to the Chief Executives claims of Excellent Care – they had to respond to me in a nicer manner but how on earth did the Healthcare Commission come up with “satisfactory” instead of Excellent. Well I would not rate it satisfactory at all especially when I had approached out of interest two firms of solicitors who stated negligence and I have the letters to prove this.

Anyway you cannot rely on awards or ratings so it would appear and one case I cannot even talk about.

It would seem that staff stick together protecting one another when things go wrong that is for sure.

Despite my dissatisfaction in the care both healthcare and in the community, I have come across some good members of staff. They are mainly junior members of staff like nurses – an outstanding nurse was the one who came out running in the Bethlem Hospital for instance and the keyworker at her scheme in the community but she left unfortunately. I also came across an outstanding member of staff at a group Elizbeth was sent to – this member of staff could see something was wrong and acted accordingly. I cannot go into details but there has been so many things that have gone wrong for me to be resorting to this blog. You never get an apology and if you complain this is not dealt with properly. My biggest complaint is that Elizabeth should never have been put on drug after drug after mind altering drug to the tune of 14. No way should a social worker push drugs such as Clozapine – I think the system is rotten to the core and needs changing. There are lots of organisations out there who are doing good work however the law is rotten and until this is changed then some certain staff like psychiatrists can use the law to their own ends, playing on capacity, confidentiality, exclusion of families, chemical brainwashing. This is what is going on – the Tribunal arranged with the entire team going except for me the nearest relative. Then I am told by a member of staff from Cambian the date cannot be changed and I said Oh yet it can and got straight on to my solicitors. I clearly need a mediator in this and have found someone who is excellent. I have not had a carers assessment and miss out on everything going for carers at the local carers centre as I work. However the one thing I need is a mediator and if I have to pay for this myself then I will.

Tomorrow I am planning to do a barbecue – if the weather stays nice like this then it will be ideal. Elizabeth told me last of all that she missed me and fluffy the cat. It is too far to take him to see her at Cambian = I will never forget how cruel the staff were at the Bethlem how she was not even allowed downstairs for 5 minutes on a beautiful sunny day. However I would like to take Elizabeth to their fete as this was the only time I have seen a happy environment there at this hospital. Maybe that can be arranged and also Elizabeth wanted to come with me to the Institute of Psychiatry. I had such a great time there and would recommend this to everyone – the whole event was organised brilliantly and the person who did this gets my highest vote. I have just heard from Eleanor Longden and I liked so much what she said – a condition rather than an illness! I fully agree with this. I also liked the speech of Frank Bruno.

Unfortunately Professor Shitij Kapur had disappeared as I wanted to give him a copy of my leaflet and tell him of the wonderful plans of Dr Walsh to train up 20 doctors. I thought he may be able to help in this respect and I intend to write directly to him. I am sure I will bump into him again at one of the wonderful AGMs – I must find out more about Cambian and when they propose to hold their AGM but the best one I have been to so far has been North West Central London NHS as my dream was fulfilled in holding the Olympic Torch and this was another well organised event. I took some shocking pictures as an example to show what damage had been done in both cases of my daughters with the drugs and how they do not work for everyone and the book of Dr Walsh explains this. I cannot wait to see Dr Walsh over here and he should be invited to the IOP – something should be done as a matter of urgency for people like my daughter stuck in hospital, left to lose their confidence and become institutionalised. There is no way on earth I want to see my daughter spend the rest of her life in hospital in such a controlled environment – neither do the rest of the family. AS long as Elizabeth has the right level of support nothing can go wrong.

I went along to this event and thought it was very good. There were many outstanding speeches and a good turnout. I thought Frank Bruno and Eleanor Longden were brilliant. In fact everyone who got up to speak were fantastic. It takes courage especially when someone has suffered from mental illness and been on the wards suffering in some cases shocking treatment and there were members of SOAP present (Speak Out Against Psychiatry) – the group of mainly former patients who have done so much to help me and care about others who are abandoned and who have done much to support me as a mother. It was an all day event about Stigma and Discrimination and this not only affects service users but the families too. Some families are ashamed to speak out whereas I take a different approach and to eradicate stigma my approach is the right way in my opinion. I hope by getting up to speak and with by blog it will educate those parents and family members who may have distanced themselves from someone they care for, son or daughter – many patients said to me “I wish you were my Mum, my Mum dies not want to know me any more”. I would suggest that a parent/carer reads the book called Prozac Panacea Pandora by Dr Ann Blake Tracy. Also they should never give uo as parents or turn their backs. I as a mother have done research into this and have found many interesting books such as Pharmageddon by Prof David Healy, Molecules of Emotion by Dr Candace Pert, Dr Walsh Nutrient Power and he is looking for 20 doctors to train up for Chy Sawel. Surely anything must be better than yet another acute ward. When the care fails a patient needs a peaceful surrounding and understanding – peer support can bring greater understanding and encouragement to get well as they have a real understanding unlike myself and professionals who do not listen. My daughter was always saying “why wont they listen, Mum”. Frank Bruno mentioned about the negative response from professional’s too.

Getting back to me it is no wonder patients are upset as just look how I as a mother have been treated. It is easy for me to stand up to this kind of abuse but not so for the patients.

I am currently up against a wall of silence at Cambian and social services. Since I found out the Tribunal was arranged behind my back I am very cautious as to what is going on and feel I need a mediator to communicate with such a team which would end the lack of communication. Well I have managed to find one who is very experienced with court proceedings . This person has given me tremendous advice.

The date for the Tribunal is being sorted out right now – I know what I am up against – a team who have tried to get rid of me and do not explain to my face the reason why. It is like being up against a brick wall. At least I am being open about things. Instead meetings are going on behind closed doors and having heard from my daughter that she wants me at the next meeting I have requested from Cambian the date of this meeting but have for some reason had no response.

I shall sort this out next week – I shall make an appointment to go right down to the Head Office – it may be easier to deal with them at Head Office plus I want to know when their AGM is. I enjoy going to these events very much and I have not had the pleasure of meeting with the Chief Executive yet. He is obviously a busy man as he has not bothered to return my calls. Elizabeth would like the location of these offices and at the same time there is no harm in me looking at what wonderful accommodation there is that could be suitable for my daughter. As long as the one to one care is provided by the Local Authority then that is great. There is no way that I as the nearest relative want to see either the following:

Elizabeth In hospital for 3 yrs or more! – this is ludicrous – Elizabeth should not even be on a section and if there is any problem with the funding then they should let me know and I will do what I can to help because there is more than one responsible here for my daughter’s decline.

I do not wish to see Elizabeth in a scheme where there is not enough support and I have given this thought. It is essential that I am there to discuss this and other important mattes with the team themselves and this is the second request met by a wall of silence.

Elizabeth should not be on a section and neither should so many and the sooner something is done about this shocking expensive situation the better as far as I am concerned.

It is not good enough in my opinion to act in this way.

Luckily Cambian have found the oils ordered through Dr Tracy but I am also waiting to hear about the electronic cigarettes. Elizabeth has asked for these on several occasions. I am not happy if my daughter is being ignored and shall take this up with head office.

I have decided not to waste any more time with chasing up responses when I have Head Office within walking distance on my doorstep.

Tomorrow I have the Daily Mail coming to see me and I am thrilled that a leading newspaper is taking such an interest in my case. There needs to be a lot more said about the shocking system whereby young people are trapped on never ending sections simply because there are no suitable facilities where they can get the level of support they need in the community such as a therapeutic community. This may not be right for everyone but at least there should be choice.

Anyway, although the conference yesterday was about Stigma, I was delighted with the speeches of Frank Bruno and Eleanor Longden that are inspiring to so many like my daughter – only wish she could have been there – she did ask but she is miles away under a section which is unfair. I had to be honest and although it was about Stigma I found myself speaking about the shocking care too but pointed out in a relevant way that I as a mother am proud to stand up and talk about what is needed and on behalf of those who have no voice to speak for themselves that the public are unaware of and what is costing a fortune – how much does it cost to keep someone in hospital for years on end and then they end up deteriorating as the only care is enforced drugging. This money could be better spent on the A&Es that are being shut down . How is anyone going to get better on a neverending section when what should be provided is more support in the community and the involvement of other former patients as companions and peer support and the choice of a fresh start perhaps (which may not suit everyone) however there is no choice and nothing good in the current system.

Congratulations to the organisers of this event who worked hard to provide wonderful food, I could not fault the way this whole event was organised and the organisers would do a fantastic job if they were involved in patient’s activities and the provision of decent facilities and food etc for the patients. Well done to the organisers of this event.

I have not spoken to Elizabeth for a few days but I am not having the consultant psychiatrist of Cambian tell me the anything of the sort against what others have heard in the family that Elizabeth DOES NOT WANT ME AT THE NEXT CPA. OH YES SHE DOES. Elizabeth has requested I be present at the next CPA! I currently waiting for the response to this. I need to know the time of this meeting. I have not once been invited. I have never met the consultant psychiatrist either. I need to hear whether they have found the mauve rug and the outcome of the allowance of the Electronic Cigarettes too – there is much needed to be discussed at the CPA that is for sure.

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