Monthly Archives: June 2013

The family meeting:

The family meeting went surprisingly well. I am afraid that is all I can put at the moment on my blog on this as there will hopefully soon be the much awaited court case.
It will be decided at this court case the future care of my daughter who is under strict control by Cambian in Wales right now. I think they would like to keep her forever – the more she is drugged the more disabled she is becoming, the more noticeable – it is heartbreaking to watch and especially to think that these so called responsible caring drugs companies do NOTHING to step in and help the victims of their industry. It should be enforced in my opinion that each and every drugs company helps – for instance there is no decent care throughout the UK and I have seen humane care abroad – where is the help when there is nothing here. As there is nothing decent here in the UK the Government needs to help organisations like Chy Sawel, Root and Branch and Soteria. As no one has a clue how to properly take someone off drugs in the UK if a patient is having adverse side effects then the advice should be taken from experts abroad such as Dr Ann Blake Tracy and Dr Walsh who should be invited over here to give advice.

I am horrified at the bulk of psychiatrists who only want to push drugs left right and centre without any regard for anyone else but themselves. There are however a few outstanding psychiatrists that do speak the truth may God praise these few for being brave enough to stand up for the vulnerable patients like my daughter. I commend them.

Anyway, I have spoken to Elizabeth today who was hoping to be taken out to the coast. On a beautiful day like today I hope she has not been kept cooped up on the ward.

Anyway, I went to a fabulous show in Aylesbury tonight – a dance show with full orchestra. As a young girl Elizabeth was given the opportunity to do ballet and I thought had potential for this however I did not push this upon her as this was something that she just tried. She also did swimming, brownies and piano. Elizabeth continues to take an interest in music and has said on occasions “All I have is my music”. Elizabeth should be enjoying herself – she is young and should be out with friends, she once had a job and was doing OK but the drugs that have been prescribed have ruined everything and she even has said “I am missing out on my life, Mum”. How extremely cruel life can be but that is the care on offer in the UK DRUG PUSHING and acute wards and now patients like my daughter where all else has failed are referred to the private sector care paid for by the Local Authority. The kind of private care that would be better suited is a therapeutic community and not just another private hospital where OK the facilities may be better that your average acute ward but the care is as inhumane as any other acute ward. In addition to the drugs prescribed by the Bethlem I happen to know that other drugs were pushed such as Lorazepam and I have specifically requested that this practise be stopped. It almost reminds me of the Michael Jackson case. I applaud the family of Michael Jackson to stand up for his rights and I as a mother intend to do that for my daughter and hope that awareness is brought about by the public and accountability to the Government for how much they are spending on care that is NOT WORKING! and is against human rights. and for anyone who believes in God – it must surely be against God to allow enforced drugging – a patient being tortured by being pinned down by numerous members of staff to administer a drug which they WRONGLY state you have to be on for the rest of your life. If withdrawal was done correctly like Dr Tracy says over a period of 1 – 2 years slowly and gradually then there would be no problems. However, nothing is done properly in the UK in my opinion.

nly wish I could have brought Elizabeth to see this wonderful performance. No doubt Elizabeth would be in bed at this time. She has to lie down and have a sleep in the afternoons but they make her get up early. They make her do chores even though she says she does not feel well. The staff do not know how badly Elizabeth must be feeling as they are not on these drugs themselves.

ance by c


The conference on the 4th July at the Institute of Psychiatry is about Stigma.

Many people are misinformed about mental health patients and read articles in the press that portray them to be violent/aggressive, killers and psychopaths which is untrue.    I believe that ignorance leads to Stigma and that the press do not help as they do not print enough positive things about mental health patients for a start.    All you get to hear about is negative articles of someone who has committed serious crime –  there is no mention hardly of the psychiatric treatment and what should be looked at is in fact the drugs that are prescribed by psychiatrists.  Such drugs do not help everyone and can actually make someone worse.

Stigma is attached to the label given by psychiatrists – there are too many to mention in the DSM5 and the labels could even extend to them themselves but a label is access to the so called “treatment” and access to the benefits because once on this “treatment”  a person is not in a fit state to work!   The treatment I am referring to is the anti-psychotic and anti-depressant “medication” which I prefer to call as drugs.  These so called drugs have done nothing for my daughter except cause harm.  She has been on around 14 now and none have worked in my opinion.  The team will desperately try to defend the drugs.  It is beneficial for a team to put patients on drugs and the more drugs the better because a patient is less trouble when they are sleeping and like a zombie – it is easier to control under a locked prison like environment such as an acute ward.   The public may think that such people deserve to be drugged and treated like this and that a professional expert such as a psychiatrist is qualified to come up with diagnosis after diagnosis and can be trusted in these diagnoses.  In actual fact a diagnosis is just a label – it is the green light to give the drugs which is the main treatment in the UK and opens doors as far as benefits go providing work to many professionals and money to the establishments.  The stigma is attached to the label given and sometimes there can be lots of labels and this has made me question everything and look further into matters.  The public may perceive Schizophrenia for instances as a very serious illness where patients are violent and can kill.  How very untrue –  patients with such a condition are treated appallingly in the UK – in fact some may be misdiagnosed and with the neverending drug treatment given, it is hard to tell then what is really wrong but many have in the first instance suffered from some sort of abuse/trauma.  This is the kind of abuse I am talking about:

Bullying/rape and sexual abuse   

The symptoms of depression can be mistaken for something more serious and then a label gets given.

When people read negative things in the press about mental health patients, they are afraid and some people affected by such labels are also afraid to tell others because of prejudice and discrimination. 


Mothers may be ashamed of any adverse behaviour but how many look into the drugs given and see the real truth and the fact that such drugs can affect ANYONE even those who are so called “normal”.   Who is normal in any case –  I have watched psychiatrists and the way they behave and have come to the conclusion that they seem very insecure people and some get a kick out of their powers to control.  A psychiatrist can control the whole team and influence their decisions as I have seen.    The team stick by a psychiatrist and say “it is a team decision”.  In fact the main person giving the decision in my opinion is the psychiatrist.

I have come across psychiatrists who are too lazy to read and some who say “I have enough reading to do”  – in actual fact this is not good!  A psychiatrist should look into everything and be interested in what happened to that patient before they were referred.   It is easy to point the finger at home and family but that is not always the case – sometimes something has happened outside of the home and family and that person needs counselling and not drugs.


In my family such powerful mind altering drugs which can be used to chemically brainwash patients against families (especially if a team do not like the mother for instance) and these drugs can actually cause hallucinations, delusions, confusion –  as Dr Ann Blake Tracy quite rightly says in her book Prozac Panacea Pandora these drugs can affect people adversely – it is all about serotonin as Dr Walsh says in his book Nutrient Power if undermethylated the drugs can work but if overmethylated the drugs can be harmful and that is why I have had my daughter tested privately.


Getting back to stigma it is wrong of a mother to attach blame on their son/daughter without looking into the drugs and doing some research into things.  I do not deny that at first I myself was not pleased and could not understand as a once immaculate person was going downhill before my eyes and I also trusted the professionals but they only give the drugs on a trial and error basis without any scientific proof of whether such a label is correct or not.

Not all psychiatrists are bad but the vast majority of them just want to push the drugs.


For instance there should be more orthomolecular psychiatrists like the one I appointed privately.


An orthomolecular psychiatrist will carry out intensive tests at the Bio Lab to determine what is the real cause.  Such tests were dismissed by the local NHS hospital.  I have had them done again especially for Dr Walsh for when he comes over.


Yes I believe such behaviour and personality “disorders” may be caused by food intolerance, copper/lead imbalance and I believe that these can be rectified by correct treatment in terms of nutrition. 

I would love someone like Jamie Oliver to get involved in a project to try and help people where everything else has failed.  Even if experts are sceptical it is all very well and good them experimenting to their hearts content on known dangerous drugs but in fact they should be thinking of the long term health of that person and listening to the patient if they say they are suffering from serious side effects.    Imagine what it must be like to be pinned down and forced to have an injection of poisonous chemicals by 6 staff or more.


So I have read that Mr Lamb thinks Triage in the street would help back up Police.  No, this is not the answer –  proper assessment centres set up with doctors trained by Dr Walsh and helped by Dr Ann Blake Tracy is the answer – such a Triage where is this leading back to the acute wards where patients are forced to take drugs and the drugs are increased.  How many admissions/re-admissions and the cause – in some cases the drugs are the cause as they can actually cause psychosis and act like LSD.  I have seen my daughter in a dream like state during the day –  I have listened to her described how it felt to feel like she was crawling out of her skin.  This is a condition called Akathisia – A DIRECT RESULT OF THE DRUGS AND NOT AS A RESULT OF A SO CALLED CONDITION.

Look at the book by Dr Candace Pert.


The drugs do not affect everyone in such a bad way and can appear to help some but for others it is a downward spiral.  I can never accept that someone is beyond help and should be just written off but that is what the current care system is doing to so many.

It is not just people who are deemed as being violent/aggressive kept locked away for years on end – some of the most vulnerable people are also locked away alongside them – they may have been abuse victims and put on a multitude of drugs that have not helped.  They may be self-harming and suicidal –  again the drugs can cause not only hostility but also suicide.  People think this is to do with the condition but the reason why the professionals like to keep someone on the drugs forever is simply because it is easier for them and I believe it is profitable as the more disabled someone gets the more the team can argue that the person cannot look after themselves or are a risk to THEMSELVES – not a risk to the public!   It is risky to put someone like that in the community however if in the right environment that person could excel.  For instance what is there on an acute ward – very little to do – noisy volatile atmosphere where patients are locked up as prisoners.  This can be intimidating for some and they can end up feeling worse.



I for one would be more than happy to meet anyone to talk about this indepth and show how people can get well again and move on in their life – that a label means nothing as there is no proof –  the background of someone under mental health is not necessarily a bad background and it is not always associated with poverty either.  I would wish to show that people have a lot to offer and are not all violent criminals but want to work, want to do something but may be limited because of the drugs and ARE NOT LAZY.  The drugs can make someone tired and lethargic unfit to work and do even simple tasks – some people may perceive this to be laziness.  Some people may point the finger at someone who is overweight without question and label them as being lazy.   This is not the case –  someone could be affected by weight gain because of the drugs for instance.  Elizabeth is being given Metformine off Label not even tried and tested for weight loss.  How bad is this!  The harm these drugs are doing to my daughter can be seen from the test results done through Peter Bennett of Rehealth/Bio Lab and now as a mother I want something better for my daughter and changes brought about in the UK  –  Someone should personally go and have a look at Tornio and Trieste.  The care is humane unlike here in the UK -I am disgusted with the care in place and the press should be doing more to promote the need for Chy Sawel and Sandra Breakspeare will be coming to this conference hopefully and like I say I would welcome the chance to say exactly what I think about Stigma.    The way to get rid of stigma is to educate and it would seem that the professionals need to review what they are doing as it is easy for them to push these drugs and dump someone into society but it is the families who see the true heartache and are left feeling helpless by the inadequate services and care of only drugging.  It is the patients and some of the families who should be listened to and how on earth is this Government going to make a team communicate with a mother like myself – what can they do to ensure that families and carers are not just dismissed as it is all very well talking about it but something needs to be done to ensure this goes ahead.  I would personally welcome the opportunity of intervention in my case as I have had nothing but trouble in terms of inclusion and communication – I have only been faced with exclusion and threats from various teams which I would personal label as bullying.

Like I said in a previous blog, it does not matter whether you are outspoken like me or quiet you can still be treated the same from what I have heard from some of the other mothers.

I do not recognise Stigma as a mother of two who have been affected.  If stigma is termed at guilt or shame I feel none of it as I am proud to be outspoken on this subject and feel I am using this opportunity to inspire a fresh look at current care.  There are many other mothers who also feel this way but are not being outspoken –  so it is not just me who is unhappy but I can understand why some do not wish to speak out.  Just look at the hassle I have had to deal with and that not only includes the care teams but social services!  It is not just the care in hospitals SOCIAL SERVICES need to be told about INCLUSION rather than EXCLUSION.  In fact a social worker said “she would be happier with her own kind”   This is ridiculous!  there should be integration more and more help and support given in this respect.   










I am posting this link to advertise a forthcoming event at the Institute of Psychiatry on the 04 July between 09:00 and 18:00
Email contact

Speakers Frank Bruno MBE
Norman Lamb MP
Lord Dennis Stevenson
Charles Walker MP
Dr Diana Rose – Service User Research Enterprise
Clarke Carlisle – Chairman of the Professional Footballers’ Association & Ambassador for the ‘Kick it Out Campaign’
Eleanor Longden – Doctoral Researcher and Intervoice Activiist
Bill McKnight – Poet, Author of ‘Loud Silence’

I hope I will be able to attend this myself.

Today I met with members of the group Speak Out Against Psychiatry and would like to point out that I am proud to attend regular meetings with the former patients who are an inspiration to me and I commend their bravery in speaking out despite suffering through shocking “care”. I think the group could play an important role in educating but also in much needed peer support.

In terms of “Stigma”, as a mother of 2 daughters, I am not ashamed to tell the world my experience – the more openness the better as this can override any stigma. I believe many are being wrongly labelled without any proof especially those who have suffered abuse, bullying and trauma – professionals are quick to push drug after drug without proper assessments and the drugs can have a devasting effect on some people.

Anyway, I would like to attend this event myself if I can. I believe it is they – the professionals who are responsible for causing stigma through labelling someone and I would be delighted to tell them all to their faces how I as a mother feel. I know for a fact my elder daughter gave up and lost hope altogether after being labelled with Schizophrenia – where is the proof of this when she did not have a proper assessment at the Bethlem.

A professional social worker who came out with the words “she would be more comfortable with her own kind” – is guilty of causing stigma in the most patronising manner.

I believe the press/media can cause stigma as they portray mental health patients in far from a decent manner which causes ignorance amongst the public.

Then you get some of the charities themselves constantly going on about stigma when they should be looking at alternative care instead in my opinion.
I think they make matters worse and should instead be focussing on campaigning for choice in care, an end to forced drugging and inclusion rather than exclusion. By doing nothing apart from going on and on about stigma they are making matters worse and should be doing something more constructive.

Some carers feel afraid to speak out because they feel affected by stigma however I as a mother feel differently as I believe that mental illness can affect anyone and I can see where all the care is wrong and where it needs to be improved.

Anyway I spoke to Elizabeth yesterday. She sounded OK but spoke of feeling confused and mixed up but then that is no wonder on the volume of drugs sheis currently on. Elizabeth is awaiting a visit from the rest of the family this week and I am hoping to have a meeting to discuss the way forward myself.It is crucial that Elizabeth gets the right placement this time and especially being a long way from home. I believe therapeutic communities are the way forward for some and may benefit Elizabeth so she can regain her confidence. This will never happen in hospital – it is the wrong environment for Elizabeth. I think it is harmful of a team to influence the person they care for against a family member in such a personal way like they have done with me. Elizabeth has always wanted family mediation but now it looks as though I may have to get a mediator myself just to communicate with the team, especially in light of what happened with the Tribunal and to think, the entire team knew about the date set for the tribunal except for myself, my solicitor and Elizabeth’s independent doctor. It was a good job I found out! – some of the staff could not conceal their shock when I confronted them on this. Now this has thankfully been cancelled by my solicitors as I as Nearest Relative will need to attend and also the sister of Elizabeth wishes to give her statements. Even if the team do not like me they have no right to deny her sister the opportunity to give her statement.

Anyway turning to the missing supplements which should have been used by the Bethlem to help in the reduction of the drugs (which Professor Murray himself promised in his letter) it is only right that these should be replaced and the Bethlem have not refused as they cannot find a trace of these to their credit.

However I have yet to hear such a satisfactory outcome from Cambian about the missing oils -(a young nurse who I remember as being very nice from the Bethlem remembers them being packed) so now I want to know where they are as they were very beneficial to Elizabeth and they should be replaced “the only thing that helps me Mum are the oils” – that says it all! I must get on to the Head office next week that is if I do not have any satisfactory response from Wales.

I must also phone and speak to Dr Walsh himself as I am keen to get the correct treatment in place having had the test results done.

As a mother I have put up with many things going missing but this is the last straw!

When my daughter was a patient at the National Psychosis Unit in Beckenham Kent, she was promised in writing a drug free period of assessment by Professor Murray but this was not given. The least I could do as a mother was to provide the Bethlem with something that Dr Ann Blake Tracy recommended, the Young Living Oils. In addition to this I provided books and CDs to assist the team but the consultant psychiatrist complained he had no time to read the books and it is no wonder everything was done wrongly. I had ordered the supplements from America and also gave these for safe keeping in the office as these were prescribed by the private psychiatrist that I had appointed. It has only just come to light that the oils and the supplements have vanished into thin air and now I want an investigation.

To be fair there seems to be a new manager at the Bethlem who was quite helpful but I received calls from the hospital whilst I was away in Wales and today I telephoned as I would like to know what is going on. It is possible that in the rush to get Elizabeth away from me and send her to Wales that these were forgotten but a young female nurse today said she personally remembered the oils being packed – this disputes what Cambian has to say that they have not got them. I have had to ring Cambian again today.

Well I want those oils found as they were beneficial to Elizabeth and it is better to give them than say Lorazepam. They cost enough and as for the supplements they seem to have vanished as well. Well to me this is not good enough.

I am going to contact Dr Ann Blake Tracy this evening as I may have to order more oils and more supplements at this rate and I will be sending the bill – why should I have to pay for these beneficial items yet again that have gone missing. There was a lovely blanket that I bought for Elizabeth too and this has only just come to light that it is also missing.

When someone is on a high level of chemicals like my daughter they need to be properly looked after and these items are not just a few pounds. “The only thing that works for me is the oils” – now I want these oils found. I may have to even call into the ward if nothing is done.

Changing the subject – on TV this evening was featured about restraining mental health patients. Well having been on the police training course myself I have to say this was excellent and no way did the training in any way advise restraint by pinning a patient face down. This is totally wrong – the training was right however the biggest abuse as I see it is the enforced drugging and this in itself can mean pinning a patient down and forcing them by staff. How very inhumane. It is not just the police that media should feature but it is the shocking care itself and the whole legal system that allows such abuse to go on.


The Bethlem Royal Hospital – Elizabeth’s Tribunal and chance to get off Section 2.

Huge amount of Seroquel withdrawal mixed with Olanzapine leading to adverse behaviour and to Section 2.

By end of Section 2 Elizabeth stabilised on the Olanzapine and her Tribunal about to take place and I heard about it.

Hospital’s recommended solicitor “do you really want to go through with this – you do not have to if you do not want to” – Elizabeth was overheard saying she hated meetings. Tribunal called off. Staff/Solicitor surrounded Elizabeth in hallway away from me as they could see I was upset. Elizabeth’s chance ruined for release was considering having her home.

End of May harassment by Enfield’s legal team re: Section 3. Two days of phone calls/threats to displace me as Nearest Relative. Details of court hearing received by email whilst at work. Enfield Social Worker cited “This application is based on unreasonable objection to the making of a Section 3 authorising detention in hospital for treatment. The hearing is listed for Directions and for consideration of making an interim order. I understand that you may not now be objecting to the Section 3. This may mean we do not need the hearing on Friday morning. Please confirm your position with ……………………. as soon as possible.

Was therefore bullied into having to go along with this or else face displacement as Nearest Relative. Did not think I had a chance on my own in court without a solicitor present.


So the Section 3 put into place and Elizabeth remained at Bethlem where they switched the Olanzapine to Clozapine but only told her about a drug beginning with the letter “M” which I later found out was Metformine 500mg and Clozapine 300mg – around the time I found out I got banned from visiting. No longer was I allowed to take Elizabeth out all day from the prison like environment of the ward. Given just 1 hour supervised/escorted visits meaning that Elizabeth was left as a prisoner on the ward for most of the time.

Group of cruelly treated former patients got in touch with me and staged a protest outside the Bethlem. Elizabeth moved to Cambian, Wales, within a day leaving no time for family to say goodbye.

At Cambian – Elizabeth’s Tribunal

After failure by hospital’s recommended solicitor, Elizabeth had appointed a new firm and given consent that I as Nearest Relative should be given some information. So I knew the date the Tribunal was set to take place but not the full details.

Cambian excluded me and invited her father. This had been arranged a month prior that her father attend but I was not given details and neither was her solicitors. Her solicitors a local firm got in touch with Cambian only to find out that they had been displaced. The Tribunal subsequently failed.

What really happened:

I asked Elizabeth and found out that two people had approached her – she did not want to say whom but at a guess it could have been either the consultant psychiatrist or Manager or even Advocates IMHA who were now involved. The question put to Elizabeth was something like this: “Would it not be better for you to have a Welsh Firm of solicitors” – I asked this question of my daughter as she said she had so many letters from Welsh firms of solicitors. When I commented that it was no wonder the Tribunal had failed – she did not seem clear as to what a Tribunal was and was puzzled by all the letters from the Welsh firms. There are times when Elizabeth has just taken the drugs that it is impossible for her to think straight and of course she feels she has to go along with the team’s suggestions – I think she is afraid not to.

As the Nearest Relative I can call a Hospital Manager’s Hearing – by this time I had solicitors involved.

Email from Cambian dated 27 September 2012
“Following your conversation with our Hospital Manager ……………………….regarding the date of the Manager’s Hearing I regret to inform you that the only date available is the 19th of October 2012 at 10.30 am due to the commitments of the other professionals.” The hospital knew that I could not make this date.

I then went out of my way to arrange to come on the 19th to fit in with the team and here is my email to the team at Cambian:

Email from me to Cambian – dated 14th October 2012
“I am very pleased to inform you I have managed to rearrange my date off work to fit in with your meeting on the 19th October at 10.30 am. I will be coming with Elizabeth’s sister. In the meantime I would like to know what the proposed Agenda is and who is attending this meeting. My solicitors will not be present but I am copying them in for their information. No doubt they will be interested to hear of the Agenda for the meeting. I am looking forward to meeting everyone for the first time ever and hopefully something positive will come out of this situation. You can rest assured that I will be sitting quietly at the meeting and my younger daughter will be doing most of the speaking etc…………………………….

This meeting never took place – my solicitors advised an adjournment as Cambian had refused the file to them. Cambian are desperate I do not see the files but prior to Cambian whilst at the Bethlem, Elizabeth had given written consent on more than one occasion for the family to know certain details regarding the care but now the team were saying the opposite. It is as though they have got something to hide – I am not bothered if my daughter has said things against me as I can fully see what is going on and I know that this is possible when surrounded by members of the team who do not like you but I am only interested to look at the drugs given and that is all. I have seen what they have written behind my back and to anyone else this would be termed as defamation of character but because this is a team of professionals they can do what they like and call you an abusive mother who hit her child, aggressive, unstable, overbearing – they can say what they like and just get away with it.

So with this meeting adjourned because of the refusal of the file to my solicitors quite a few months elapsed since that date. Then the court got things wrong and thought the Tribunal was for my daughter not on my part – the Tribunal was cancelled and this was just before Xmas.

Xmas we were all deprived of seeing Elizabeth but had a brief visit flanked by staff escorted only in my case and that did not apply to the rest of the family.

All the months since December have been about trying to arrange the Tribunal which I as Nearest Relative can bring about. I cannot believe how long this has taken.

The psychiatrist was replaced briefly by another who was covering the post. After a struggle I managed to get consent for the private tests to be done by Peter Bennett of Rehealth at the Bio Lab to be passed on to Dr Walsh of the Walsh Institute. The team tried to drag this out but then Elizabeth had said OK to these tests and they duly went ahead. Then the team tried to play on the fact that Elizabeth had not given consent to seeing the independent doctor who my solicitors were hoping to appoint. This dragged things out even further until her sister went down to visit alone. Elizabeth said she had no objection to seeing the independent doctor and at long last after all this time things could go forward now that consent had been received from Elizabeth.

It was only last week that the Independent doctor for the Tribunal went to Wales to see my daughter and I was determined that after all this time that Elizabeth would get a fair trial.

It was whilst visiting that I discovered that the entire team were aware of the fact that the Tribunal which was My Tribunal had been arranged for the following Monday -neither myself, my solicitors or the independent doctor had been informed but the entire team knew about it. If I had not phoned social services none of this would have come out. I had tried to contact them so many times and no one got back to me – the social worker did not know my phone number – how many times had I phoned in the past! Then I found out there were 2 social workers for my daughter and surprise was expressed by one of them that I did not know this and that there had always been 2 social workers. There was the last time and that is because I did not get on with the social worker who I heard tried to push Clozapine at my daughter as though she was a doctor!. perhaps that is why 2 social workers were allocated but I had no idea that still there was 2 social workers and the other one did not even know my number.

I took a couple of days off so that I along with a family friend could support Elizabeth – to be honest I was afraid that the team would make out she did not want to see this doctor and then the doctor’s time would be wasted as I already knew from the rest of the family that the team hoped to keep Elizabeth for at least 18 months. So, I arranged to take Elizabeth off the ward to stay in a nearby hotel with us. The next day the independent doctor arrived who I had never met. I waited alone in the reception of Cambian but then the team wanted to know where Elizabeth was – the doctor was due to arrive at any time and I did not want her surrounded by this team persuading her not to go ahead with the planned visit. I was quite right to do this as the day before my visit the consultant psychiatrist had gone to see Elizabeth alone without an advocate or solicitor present and said “do you really want your mother to be the nearest relative” – I would not be surprised if Elizabeth had been threatened into saying “no” however because of my strong concerns about what I see as manipulation of my daughter and the dragging out of the tribunal I had listened to Elizabeth confessing all this witnessed by my friend and I asked her if she would not mind repeating this on a tape recorder and this she did! So, the nurses suddenly became anxious as to the whereabouts of Elizabeth who had just eaten, had been taken out to see a lovely castle museum – she was not hungry or anything but had not taken her drug! I knew this drug was due to be taken exactly at the time of the visit by the independent doctor but felt it was inappropriate as otherwise Elizabeth would not have been in a fit state to see him. I knew if I took her back to the ward that the team would have probably administered this drug leaving her incapable of seeing the doctor.

Anyway the two nurses spoke of the Section 17 leave coming to an end that she had to be returned immediately to the ward. I told them that the consultant psychiatrist had agreed an extra night and therefore what was the problem? The team then said it was lunch time. I told them that Elizabeth had eaten – a large breakfast and a snack at the castle café. Still the team were not happy and they insisted she be brought back at that very minute. I was by this time standing in the hallway looking out anxiously for the independent doctor. The two nurses brushed past me and marched directly to the car opposite where Elizabeth was quite happy and content to remain waiting for the doctor’s arrival.

Thank God! I could see what looked like the doctor arriving at that very minute. I rushed outside and said “are your Dr ………………?” you could not imagine my relief as anything could have gone wrong then! At that, my daughter got out of the car calmly and went in to see the independent doctor alone in the small visitors room.

I was waiting in the hallway patiently as Elizabeth wanted to go and get some chocolates for a fellow patient and we did not have time earlier to do this.

It was then I caught a glimpse of the consultant psychiatrist I had never met before – she went in to see the independent doctor alongside my daughter and I carried on waiting outside as it was pouring with rain and I was going to offer the independent doctor a lift to the station. So whilst waiting I put in my request for her to go up the road to get some chocolates before our return home and this was flatly refused due to the Section 17 leave being ended. The staff told me that they would take her and I said no to this as I had promised and I am not one to break a promise. I pointed out that the Section 17 leave had actually been granted for an extra night but then the team said that I had changed my mind which altered this altogether and that I would not be allowed to take her out again that day even though it was the day I was due to go home. I was then asked by a member of staff if I was “stressed” – this is something the team play on. If you so much as express any kind of upset or disagreement then they just jump to conclusions all too often wrong. No, I was happy – happy that my daughter had seen the independent doctor which may not have happened otherwise. Happy that it was worth me taking time off to go down to ensure my daughter got a fair trial. I did mention though that I was upset at everything but who would not have been upset after finding out about the Tribunal arranged behind my back with everyone aware of it – upset does not mean you are stressed!. It must have come as a shock to the team that I did find out about this by chance and my solicitors got straight on to dealing with this matter and rearranging the Tribunal whereas Cambian told me that NO WAY COULD THE TRIBUNAL DATE BE REARRANGED. One member of staff told me that! Well now another date is being set for the Tribunal that I, my solicitors, my younger daughter and the independent doctor can ALL make it! This will now not be until end of July.

July will give the opportunity of her sister attending the Tribunal and the family to get together to talk about what will happen. There is no way I could have attended on the Monday 17th June at 10.00 am – I am shocked at the lack of knowledge by the team that such a date could not be altered by me yet my solicitors told me IT COULD!

I have been told by other mothers that a team can do anything to prevent a tribunal going ahead. The longer someone stays with the hospital the better as money is provided for that person’s stay. Therefore dragging out a section is to the team’s strong advantage as I see it but it is not to the public’s advantage as this is public money that should be accounted for. If a patient is not a risk to the public then it is an infringement of human rights to want to hold on to that patient for years on end, each time with the team sticking together to ensure that the tribunal fails and that the patient can be kept for say 3 years if not more. I read about a landmark case by Kaim Todner Solicitors regarding delaying of tribunals but it is near impossible to get representation for anything other than up to Tribunal level. Who is going to believe a mother or a patient when something goes wrong in terms of a mental health patient. The law is not protecting the most vulnerable people and the dragging out of a tribunal by way of playing on capacity “we have not received her consent yet” this results in more cost to the public. When it is obvious and true that someone is not happy on a section, of no risk to the public this sort of thing should not go on.

My solicitors shall arrange the Tribunal at a date convenient well in advance and I have just notified them of the date.

I hope I do not have to go through all this again but myself and her sister will go down prior to the date arranged so we can be with Elizabeth for this as otherwise ANYTHING could happen.

It is so unfair what is going on and to think I could have to go through this all again soon however if this Tribunal does not go ahead because of interference by the team, I shall want a major enquiry and I think that everyone should be told as this will be a waste of public money.

It is disturbing when you hear things like ” Dr ………………………is on my side”

I was not outspoken and full of praise for this private hospital in the first instance. Other mothers have informed me that they have been quiet yet they have still experienced this kind of treatment when it comes to Tribunals so anyone who thinks it is simply because of my outspokenness/criticism of the “care” that I have been treated this way is very wrong as this would appear to be commonplace when dealing with mental health patients and tribunals.

The whole reason they are against me as Nearest Relative is all to do with the drugs as the team have accused me of telling Elizabeth to stop taking them. They have accused me of encouraging her to stop taking them. This is not true! However I am very glad I had the private test results done which I have passed to the professional doctor for his observation and comment to the court. It is a good thing that I am the nearest relative in the circumstances.

I have been trying to get hold of my daughter’s social worker and have telephoned and written and I got a reply saying the social worker did not know my telephone number but yet I have phoned several times. Social services in Enfield have been trying to replace me as the nearest relative as they do not think I am fit to be the nearest relative.

It is about time someone stood up to this kind of bullying and I am doing just that and I want the world to know! It is not fair or right that things should be kept behind closed doors. I am an open person and I want things dealt with honestly and fairly but all I can see is deceit and devious behaviour and I have questioned who is responsible. Tonight I have asked for help as Mr Norman Lamb who I saw at the Carers UK Conference is talking about changes – big changes and so is David Behan of the CQC and if no one is speaking up because they are too afraid to then nothing will ever be done in my opinion. I can see why people are afraid of social services because they can use powers against you – they have already done this in my case and I think they want to get rid of me as the Nearest Relative because I found out today that the Tribunal had been arranged on Monday behind my back without telling my solicitors. This is a disgusting abuse in my opinion. My daughter has been unfairly treated by the Bethlem Royal Hospital and her face was covered in bruises – the lead Nurse said “that is fine with me” – I said as a mother and nearest relative that it was not fine by me. I wanted to know what had happened to my daughter – there was not just one or two bruises – there could have been a good explanation but no one wanted to explain this to me and that is why I am suspicious as they like to keep things a secret as though they have something to hide. Meanwhile the oils from Dr Ann Blake Tracy and the supplements I ordered as part of her prescription from the private psychiatrist had gone missing. To be fair there is what appears to be a new manager – this manager is excellent because instead of dismissing me like a piece of rubbish like the majority of the team have done – this manager has communicated with me. It is not right that any team receiving public money gets away with treating a mother or parent in a shocking a despicable manner as though they are invisible and are NOTHING! Mr Lamb and Mr Behan both said that families should be included but teams are excluding people like myself when I have not abused my daughter. They try and turn the person you care for against you because that person may blame you for ending up on hospital and for one reason or another they end up there – it is not always under your control as a parent. Sometimes someone can have a terrible reaction to the drugs given and as a mother I have researched the drugs and the team do not like it. They want to replace me with her father who lives in a different area to me. It could be that they do not want to pay – it could be that they see the best solution would be to get rid of me as the nearest relative and dump my daughter in a different area where her father lives for instance and then they would not have to pay. Then they could wash their hands of my daughter.

I have nothing to hide – I would rather the world judge me and I would welcome anyone in the world to come round and meet me and see for themselves before they come to a final judgement of what they think.

I am not the kind of person who wants to sit here writing and disclosing personal business to the world but I am doing this for everyone. Many patients complaint that their human rights are being ignored. Many mothers are too afraid to speak out as you end up suffering and yes it has affected me very deeply.

I will tell you now about my visit to Wales:

I came down to Wales as an important visitor was due to see my daughter and he is the independent doctor appointed on my behalf as part of the legal process for the Tribunal. The Tribunal for my daughter was unsuccessful – her father was invited and I was not and the team keep on saying that it is my daughter’s wish. My daughter has disclosed to myself and her sister/friends that it is very strict where she is. She feels obliged to go along with the team “you don’t know what it is like here Mum”. “Everything gets back to me – please don’t cause me trouble” My daughter is being pushed and pulled in two directions by the team and this is harmful to her wellbeing. I do not know exactly who is responsible but Mr Hunt and Mr Behan should look into this as I am worried it will affect my daughter’s health. It is not fair or right of a team to do this sort of thing but it is commonplace according to the other mothers I am in touch with. They too have suffered this kind of abuse.

These are mothers that have not been outspoken like me yet they still suffer abuse so anyone that says this is of my own making is very wrong. This is going on all the time so I understand and I am in touch with lots of people. It is wrong that a vulnerable patient who is weak and on a lot of drugs is used and manipulated by a team in such a way.

I understand from my daughter that the consultant psychiatrist from Cambian had a private meeting on her own with my daughter without a solicitor or anyone present. This is wrong. At this meeting my daughter was asked if she really wanted me to be the nearest relative and I do not know her answer but even if she said “no” she was being put under pressure by a professional of a hospital that has won best care provider 2012 and 2013. This doctor appears not to like me and has referred to my past behaviour at the Bethlem Royal Hospital. This doctor has chosen never to meet me but has said things about me behind my back will I will not repeat at this stage as things are going to court. The terrible fact is the team all knew at CAmbian about the forthcoming Tribunal arranged behind my back and my solicitors for the second time running. The team refused to disclose the file to my solicitors at the managers meeting – all of this has meant that the Tribual has been long and drawn out and the longer it is drawn out surely the more money of public funding is wasted. There was recently a landmark case I believe through the solicitors called Kaim Todner. My daughter was advised it would be better to have a Welsh firm of solicitors. My daughter is scared and afraid she is surrounded by the team who may well be making her feel uncomfortable like at the Bethlem. This is not what I expected of Cambian. I was so pleased when she got accepted there. I begged for her to go there as I thought they have wonderful care and facilities. Sure enough they have more than on offer on the local acute ward but the control seems more rigid than any prison. They keep people for three years so I have found out and that is far too long. The longer someone is kept in hospital the more they deteriorate and this shows a lack of care in the community.

Anyway I was down because I did not want this team to intervene and try to destroy my daughter’s chance of fairness in the legal system – she could be kept up to 9 years on a Section that is constantly being renewed – each time for 6 months. There needs to be more controls over the law and it would seem that some professionals do not know the law and use this to their advantage.

We took Elizabeth out for a nice Indian meal. After each meal she feels very ill – I have read that this is the effect of the drugs. She was like this on Aripraprazole. I could not book for one big room for all of us in the hotel so I booked 2 rooms however when Cambian heard this they were not happy and I stayed with Elizabeth all night long in her room. The next day we had breakfast at the lovely local hotel – this was very nice but when I heard about the doctor asking my daughter if she really wanted me to be the nearest relative I had lost my appetite – the team do not know just how harmful what they are doing is. It is completely wrong and I want a full enquiry. It is not as though I want anyone punished – It is because I do not want to go through this again – it is my holiday and time off work and it was heartbreaking. After breakfast we went for a drive and went to see a museum but I was conscious of the very important appointment that we should have Elizabeth back on the ward in good time. Anyway I decided to go in myself. Elizabeth had a large breakfast and a snack at the lovely tea rooms of the beautiful castle we visited. She was not hungry and I did not want to give her the tablet before the doctor arrived as he had come a long way and she would not be in a fit state to see him otherwise. So I came in myself and I had just found out from one of 2 social workers my daughter has that the Tribunal had been set for Monday 17th of June. My own solicitors were not informed and this is disgusting in my opinion. I quickly got on the phone to my solicitors and luckily they cancelled the Tribunal otherwise the team would have succeeded in renewing the section for another 6 months in the most underhand and devious manner – this could be the commissioning team at Enfield or social services or Cambian themselves – do not know who is responsible but whoever it is does not want me to be the Nearest Relative.

It is so lucky that I found out. My solicitors were not very pleased or to hear that the consultant psychiatrist had been to see my daughter without any advocate or solicitor present although I am very suspicious of advocates who are funded after the way the advocates behaved at the Bethlem. Well I have been more than suspicious about social services but I did not know she had 2 social workers! I thought she had one new social worker but they have been very silent with me and all the time they were wanting to replace me.

Well I have a legal letter that tells the reason why they want to replace me and IT IS A LIE!

Not all the staff at the above hospital were bad. They had the best social worker I have ever come across under mental health but then he disappeared! They had a young Indian nurse and a black nurse who came out running with me even though the nurses were warned not to because of health & safety – Elizabeth had helped me with my running technique when I decided I wanted to be a police officer and it is thanks to Elizabeth and the wonderful trainers at my gym that I succeeded in getting through the test for the police. The reason I wanted to work for the police is that the police have a terrible reputation amongst the mental health patients. Unfortunately this is because all too often the police end up having to arrest the person concerned whose care has not worked. Sometimes a patient begs to get back on the ward because they are so isolated. The public only hears the worse – mental health patients are portrayed as violent killers and that is not true and in fact it is the opposite. They are forced to take drugs and are told they have to be on them for the rest of their life regardless of their long term health.

I cannot wait until Dr Walsh comes over here to train up doctors and one of the mothers who is in a highly professional field herself is training to be a doctor and I would like this kind of doctor for my daughter – I want a doctor who cares, I want a doctor who does not dismiss me as a mother – after all I have not abused my daughter. I want a doctor who works with the family. I want a team who care, a team who do not exclude, a team who do not make it awkward for my daughter and push her in two directions and divide the family.

I am not trying to be more clever than these professionals. I am not trying to get them all into trouble – I just want things to be fair. The most important person is my daughter and she is terrified to disagree with the team and at the same time feels obliged to go along with them because they surround her, because they make her feel awkward – “I have to watch my reputation, Mum”. “I will call the police on them Mum, you are still my Mum”.

There have been many terrible things that have happened to Elizabeth whilst under the local services care. That is in the past now – I want to move forward and the specialist doctor has recommended more family involvement. However, Cambian have only included her father and Grandparents. I have not been invited to one meeting. I have never met the consultant psychiatrist although I saw her from a distance today.

The Tribunal is being re-arranged as I need to get time off work and my younger daughter would like to support her sister.

My daughter has been afraid to tell me the things that have been said but has said the consultant psychiatrist at Cambian has been on “her side”. There should not be such a thing as sides – there should be togetherness – there should be care like in Finland and I am trying to find out more about this wonderful care as Elizabeth was so happy in Finland.

Last of all I have not been happy these too days – a member of the team said I looked stressed out but it was not this – how would anyone else feel in my shoes to find out that once again the Tribunal was being arranged without the Nearest Relative’s solicitors being advised.

Elizabeth asked after her cat several times. Elizabeth had to hold on to my arm like an old person as she felt dizzy all the time. I gave to the specialist doctor the shocking test results I had done for Dr Walsh and they are not looking good. I am not an expert nevertheless I could still understand the decline from the last time I had such tests done. This is why I want the minimal of drugs as I know people who have been on these chemicals for years who have suffered terrible health problems and nothing is done – no one cares and thought should be given to the long term health of that patient. The drugs companies make a huge profit – where is their support – they say they care and so they should help in any way they can for individual cases like my daughter who should be offered the choice of care not available in the UK at the present time.

Elizabeth phoned today. She did not sound too good. She sounded confused and disorientated and a little hyper.

Elizabeth told me she had been out but suffered a bad panic attack. I asked how often did she go out under Cambian’s care and the answer was about once a week. Maybe there is not the staff to take patients out more often but I am deeply worried as she is beginning to suffer these panic attacks more and more whenever she goes out. When we were in Cardiff last week on more than one occasion Elizabeth was not feeling good outside around people.

This leads me to believe that the longer she is kept in Cambian’s hospital this is not going to do her any good.

I have just received wonderful advice from someone I met at the protest at the IOP. I am going to make sure that everyone can share in with this advice and as Mr Jeremy Hunt could not care less to even respond to my letters I have been writing instead to Mr Norman Lamb who does seem to care – the Tribunal will be coming up soon and I am going down to Wales next week to see Elizabeth.

Now I am going to turn my attention to Novartis, the manufacturers of Clozapine.

I have not a good word to say about this drug.

So far Elizabeth has suffered dizziness, disorientation, has had trouble thinking and mentions a very dangerous complaint when on this drug that can lead to death – constipation and also palpitations and strain to the heart. I want the world to know that this drug is not doing any good to my daughter and the team have also got her on Metformine – you may ask but this is a diabetes drug however the Bethlem gave it off label for weight loss as Clozapine is notorious for weight gain. Elizabeth begged not to go on Clozapine and was promised a drug free period of assessment by Professor Murray. I narrowly missed seeing him when I went into the Maudsley Debates. I want to know from Professor Murray why he abandoned my daughter when I begged for help and where are the one or two contacts. These contacts should be helping my daughter right now to be reduced off this shocking drug.

I think it is right that Novartis and all the other drugs companies that I will give publicity to should pay something for my daughter and other victims. If they were a decent company they would set up a fund and provide some kind of help to the victims that their drugs make worse in order my daughter can go to Finland (Tornio) the only place in the world that has decent care from what I have heard. You can be sure I am shall contact Novartis personally to say exactly what I think.

I must say that I am impressed with what would appear to be a new manager at the Bethlem. This manager has responded well to me when I enquired where the oils from Dr Tracy were and the supplements that had been prescribed by the private orthomolecular psychiatrist that I had appointed. This manager is at least being helpful which makes a change compared to what I have come up against. This is the kind of manager that should be within all hospitals – one who listens and one who at least tries to help without being dismissive.

Over the weekend I intend to write some more letters regarding Finland – I must find out how I can get my daughter there for the decent care or else the Government should provide the funding for Chy Sawel/Root & Branch and Soteria offering holistic care with minimal drugs in a humane way.

This is what I think of the care in the UK:


I purchased this Maudsley Discussion Paper No. 13 and would highly recommend this to anyone.

I would also recommend as many service users as poss to attend the Maudsley Debates and have pointed out that there is a lecture on Neurobiology of Child Abuse/ Treatment Implications at the Institute of Psychiatry coming up on the 17th June at 5.30. This is very controversial indeed and I have put the link up on Twitter and on this site so that everyone can read this and if possible be there to voice their protests. This booklet shows you just how much influence the pharmaceutical industry has on academic and practical psychiatry and it does not surprise me one bit.

There are many victims of the pharmaceutical industry like my daughter who have been made disabled. It is disgusting that these pharmaceutical companies do nothing and yet they portray themselves as caring when in fact they are far from this.

Here is what I think of the pharmaceutical industry:
They do not care less about people like my daughter when the drugs do not work. It is all about profit to them. They do nothing to help the victims.

The law does not protect the weak and vulnerable and bullying is rife if you dare to oppose the team like I have done. They try to turn the person you care for against you and cover up mistakes by sticking together.

This wonderful booklet (Maudsley Discussion Paper No. 13) is full of facts and reference notes. It also talks about the expanding mental disorders documented in the DSM incorporating more and more increasing amounts of disorders – anything to push the drugs. It is critical of the FDA and in Britain the Medicines Control Agency which fail to collect routine data. That is obvious because my daughter has told me of no end of terrible side effects. She has suffered so much whilst nothing is being done to put things right. Every day my daughter is faced having to take 800mg of poisonous drugs against her wishes even though she is treatment resistant and can remember everything but has times when she is confused and not feeling at all well. She has complained of heart problems to me – no one could care less about the suffering of people like my daughter. It is pure evil what is going on – they are shortening the life of my poor daughter who now has no life at all thanks to the shocking care of the UK which is nothing but drug pushing.

It concludes that as a society we are consuming more medicinal drugs than ever and that psychiatry practice is now firmly centred around drug treatment – how very true! At the back of this booklet is no end of references. Copies of this and other publications can be obtained from Sarah Smith, Division of Psychological Medicine PO63, Institute of Psychiatry, De Crespigny Park, London SE5 8AF.
“It is time for the psychiatric profession to reflect on its relationship with the pharmaceutical industry and attempt to reclaim its integrity.”

Anyway, I have booked yet more hotel accommodation to enable Elizabeth to stay when I come down to Wales shortly. It is expensive to keep going down there and the Tribunal will not be long now. I have no idea how this is all going to end up. One thing is for sure hospital is not doing my daughter any good.

I will document my visit to Elizabeth in due course.

Took an hour off to go to this today. The room was so packed there had to be an overflow room to cope with demand. Unfortunately despite putting my hand up I did not get the chance to speak as you could ask questions. My question would be as follows:

“How come drugs are given without proper assessment and when someone is labelled “chronic treatment resistant” is it right that drugs are still given. What about when there are mistakes made like in the case of my daughters – surely you should not give 500 mg Metformine off label.”

I made up for this afterwards by circulating amongst the professionals and dishing out my leaflets.

I spotted the Dean of the Institute of Psychiatry and he recognised me as I had met him at Maudsley AGM. He had come up with a speech which I found inaccurate about how smoking shortened life. I pointed out to him that it was the drugs that did this and did not feel he had spoken fully on this as he should have done.

The speech by Felicity Callard was very good in my opinion and accurate. There were other speakers that I did not agree with one bit.

After the debate had ended you could meet everyone to discuss this further.

I was shocked at how many young people voted in favour. If only they could see my daughter now. If only my younger daughter age 22 could be there to speak to them all. These young people have not seen the suffering of my daughter on all these drugs. I took the opportunity to hand out my leaflets and I also mentioned the group SOAP who have helped me no end. They are former patients. You cannot possibly get a clearer understanding unless you speak to those who have been on the shocking acute wards themselves.

I also pointed out to these young people that my daughters had suffered trauma – this causes psychosis such as bullying, rape, abuse. Straight away if you complain about the care you get labelled as the person abuses your son or daughter and you should see what has been written about me.

After the debate I looked around at the shocking wards of the Maudsley – it is sad that there are people stuck on these wards instead of being given the option of therapeutic communities.

I also took the opportunity to talk about Dr William Walsh and pointed out in his book Nutrient Power the research he has done. As a mother this is the kind of care I want – holistic, humane, special attention to nutrition and therapies and more support.

Anyway I shall be looking out for the next debate and hopefully I will get the chance to speak then.

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