It was a struggle to get consent for Elizabeth to spend time with myself and my younger daughter. It is as though the team do not want me anywhere near my own daughter and certainly they have tried to influence her, so I have heard. The team at Cambian have had great influence to the point that they imposed strict restrictions against me but those restrictions did not work as with the supervised phone calls, Elizabeth was constantly texting me which was probably something the team did not know about. She was the one – not me who was contacting me as there is no way I would have phoned at the time and day dictated by the consultant psychiatrist of Cambian when I could not in any case because the time was when I travel home from work. It was an extremely nasty situation and must have been upsetting for Elizabeth but then a new psychiatrist cam to temporarily work for Cambian and he was very nice and even bothered to phone me. The previous psychiatrist is now back and it has taken several attempts to gain permission for Elizabeth’s forthcoming leave and then Cambian suggested Bluestone National Park and this sounds wonderful to me and very much what I myself had in mind. No mention was made of how long she would be allowed to stay with us and I assumed on this occasion she would be allowed out a little bit longer but it would appear I am wrong. I queried this with the team as I could see having contacted Bluestone that 2 nights were mentioned – when I asked if I could be allowed to have her for two nights I got a short email stating that the team had given consent for just 1 night. It will take us about three and a half hours to drive to Wales depending on traffic and then a further 1.5 – 2 hrs to Bluestone so nearly all our time will be in the car driving. It is sad that the team are depriving Elizabeth of just a little bit more time as I would have liked to book the spa treatments and take her out in the fresh air to see the beautiful scenery. It is sad that the team at Cambian do not take into consideration the distance we are travelling for a start and the fact we hardly see Elizabeth and I have not broken the news to her sister who will be extremely upset as she was hoping to spend more time with Elizabeth – before we know it, it will be time to go back and go home again.

I have written to Cambian stating that we cannot make a booking at Bluestone for just 1 night as I have enquired. Now I have to look for somewhere else and this place would have been ideal.

I have also asked in my email how long Cambian intend to keep my daughter for and the reason for their strict controls against me having contact both in the past and present time. I presume they think I will try to influence her to stop taking the drugs but I would not do this despite my personal feelings against them I would keep them to myself. I know she is on an extremely dangerous drug and her life would be at risk if she was to attempt to take herself off this chemical. I have tried to reassure the team in responding that I am not a doctor and therefore am not qualified to do this sort of thing – my time spent with Elizabeth would be pleasant and no mention of drugs but I do know that Elizabeth is upset at being on a section and I think it is appalling she has been sectioned when the Maudsley made such a huge mistake causing the psychosis and this could well have been done deliberately just so she got put on Clozapine – this is their chosen drug and they receive funding for this – I was told “its all about Clozapine here” by the lead nurse.

Anyway, I do hope that Cambian will reconsider – Elizabeth will have a lovely time with us – she has missed out on so much of her life and the awful thing is she sometimes comments on this.

Elizabeth is in a lovely area but unfortunately a hospital is no place to get well and my concern is that she gets enough support in the community. The hospital care does not fit the description I read and I hoped for the very best for my daughter when the care failed time and time again locally. I thought Cambian had peer support/patient involvement but all I can see is rigid and strict control more so than even the Bethlem but I am going back to before she got put on the Clozapine.

I understand that Enfield Social Services are currently in the process of reviewing her care yet I never get to hear from any of these social services team. They are keen to distance themselves or try and make out they do not know of what is going on – I happen to know that they have attended meetings at Cambian so they must know what is going on and I thought it was extremely devious of them to try and replace me a second time. I may not have been so lucky but now I have solicitors acting for me and that is a very good thing in the circumstances.

There is still no date for the Tribunal arranged.

I would like to see Elizabeth out of hospital and with much more support. I am thinking of buying her a place to live and employing a live in carer like I did for my father. I have also seen a very very good “community” care centre and I like the description of this very much.

I shall write tomorrow if I get a response like I hope – just 1 more night – surely this is not too much to ask of the team. It is wrong of the team to punish and take things out on my daughter and my younger daughter just because they do not like me – the only excuse is that they do not trust me and their fears are unfounded – it is wrong of them to assume like this and to guess when they are totally wrong. It is wrong of a team to form a bad opinion amongst themselves when they do not know me yet staff have been to my home when I was deprived of having Elizabeth last Xmas. Instead of working together and communicating effectively which would have meant I would never have been outspoken let alone have a blog, the team have stuck together but what they are doing is harmful to my daughter.

“There’s no place like home, Mum” – however if Elizabeth was to come home I would have to give up my job and be at home every day – this also would not be great as
how would Elizabeth ever manage on her own and become independent that way and so it is not as if I am possessive towards her as I think it is most important she is in the right environment and London is not a good environment as it is noisy and not peaceful.

I shall know hopefully tomorrow if my wish has been granted or not.


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