I have been in Wales collecting Elizabeth as for the first time ever she is allowed to come home and stay with me but this has only been a short time.
This morning I got a phone call from a friend to say my house has been broken into. Luckily this good friend of mine helped no end and contacted the Police, stayed until the house was boarded up. Once again burglars got in through the back and have damaged windows and French doors. I have had the Wii Games stolen, laptops and other things but it could have been worse. There were looking for phones and have ransacked my younger daughter’s room and there was glass everywhere. My first thought was for my pet cat who must have been terrified. I was relieved that the cat was still there as this would have caused tremendous upset not only to Elizabeth but myself as we have grown so attached to him. I have not long been in but I have swept up all the glass at the back as I was afraid the neighbours cats could get glass injuries. It is upsetting to know someone has been in your home and thank goodness the home is always occupied but it would have to be this weekend when Elizabeth is staying as I wanted this to be a very special weekend.
As promised I took Elizabeth on Brecon Mountain Railway and we saw the beautiful scenery of Wales and also visited a distillery to buy gifts for the family before heading home. The house was not in too bad a state when I got home and despite all this upset, Elizabeth has been calm. The hospital were worried that she could react – I do not think Elizabeth gets out that much and has lost a lot of confidence. I see the hospital are giving her some supplements but I wish it was the prescription of the private orthomolecular psychiatrist that I appointed.
The Clozapine does not work because Elizabeth can remember way back everything that has happened and this drug has done nothing for my daughter. What is the point of trying to block someone’s mind – this is an easy alternative for staff so that a patient is fit for nothing half the time. This is not care at all – these drugs must be costing the taxpayer a fortune and I have tried but cannot find one single place for my daughter to go in to be reduced properly just like Dr Ann Blake Tracy has instructed. Noone seems to know how to reduce someone off these drugs and the public are misinformed greatly. These drugs – anti-depressants or anti-psychotics are extremely harmful and you cannot just come straight off them. I would not recommend anyone takes themselves off without the help of a professional doctor but what doctors in the UK are willing to give this humane choice of care. If only I could find one.
The only place there seems to be brilliant care and choice is Finland in a place called Tornio and I have looked further afield as alternative care centres in the States and there are several – why is there not one single place in the UK.
I do like Wales as it is peaceful and quiet and after what has happened to my home I am not happy in this area at all. Elizabeth is in a better place where there is quality of life unlike here where I live. The trouble is there is lack of care in the community and these schemes where quite a few mentally ill people are put together in their own flats do not suit everyone especially someone who is extremely vulnerable like my daughter. I am keen not to see a repeat of any of the horrific things that have occurred in the passed but it is hard to trust anyone every again. The team have not trusted me up until now and maybe they have been warned by senior management to change their tactics otherwise any publicity would be detrimental to their image and reputation. I have no idea why they have stopped treating me like a criminal and have suddenly backed down on their sanctions but there is a new doctor – maybe this is the reason. It seems to depend on what doctor you have and whether or not they dislike you and some react in a personal way such as the Maudsley where I was given just 1 hour escorted supervised visits and Elizabeth was kept like a prisoner.
So Elizabeth right now is visiting her grandparents and I have allowed this despite the fact the rest of the family have not been communicating with me and have tried to keep Elizabeth visits a secret from me. I am disappointed that Elizabeth is only allowed to spend just 1 night with me and tomorrow morning is having to go back and staff are picking her up from my house to bring her back. Still, it is better than nothing I suppose but I would have liked to have done a dinner as we missed out on Xmas dinner and I did not see my daughter over Xmas apart from a flying visit just before Xmas.
If there are bad things written about you in the files that are inaccurate from a previous hospital, this hospital have perhaps gone by these kind of remarks that I have seen in the files I have in my possession.
Elizabeth was in quite a disturbed state when she was first transferred to this hospital from the last however ANYONE would have been in a state if they had come from this prison camp to anywhere else – this is not a bit surprising and I especially got to witness shocking things. I wish they had called the police – I wish they had me escorted like they threatened – I sat and waited patiently for this witnessed by a close friend who was shocked and disgusted.
Anyway Elizabeth at long last can see her pet cat and this has gone with her to the Grandparents. I thank God that these burglars did not harm the most precious thing I have. Never mind about the computers – the cat could have got out of the window it does not bear thinking about.
Obviously I am upset about the burglarly but what can you do. It could have been worse and I would have been awoken by any noise and would have investigated myself had I been at home.
I am now having to stay in and wait for the police to ring. The whole thing is just a nuisance to me and I am not the only one down this road who has been affected by this apparently and it is supposed to be a nice area where I live as well.
Last of all Elizabeth knows I have this website and I will give her the opportunity to write something herself that is if she feels up to it tomorrow.