Monthly Archives: December 2012

I am attaching a letter to David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Jeremy Hunt.  I have written to all but have received only standard letters in respect referring me to the PHSO and when you have turned to them and the CQC and nothing is done or all you get is a standard letter and nothing much else who else do you turn to.  You should be able to turn to someone else if your local MP cannot help you on health matters and it is all wrong.  The system needs changing entirely as when you visit Parliament you can only see your MP and I wanted to see someone higher up as he could not help me.

Please also see the video on the recent Newtown shooting below:

I shall keep you informed as to whether I get a reply from Mr Cameron, Mr Clegg and Mr Hunt.

In the meantime I  have heard from Dr Tracy who is extremely busy and dedicated in her work to reveal the truth of what is really going on.  I hope to meet Dr Tracy personally in the near future and thank her for all the advice she has given me.  I was supicious as time went on about these drugs and could not believe the transformation in my daughter when on them. 

A recent response to something I wrote on Twitter was saying about someone’s husband coming off the drug and leading to him nearly dying as a result.  Well I am not advising anyone to come off the drugs at all.  This is something that has to be done with professional help but here in the UK withdrawal is not being done properly as I have seen at the Bethlem.  There is no way you should take yourself off a huge amount of drugs and it is in this respect that Dr Ann Blake Tracy could help the professionals in the UK and so could Dr William Walsh.  It is because things are not done properly and these drugs drain the body of vitamins and nutrients so diet has to go alongside any withdrawal and it would help if there was proper assessments but the minute someone complaints of feeling depressed the minute drugs are dished out and people just do not realise how dangerous they are.  Some may get along with them OK and have no problem but for those that do they are just left on the drugs and experimented on like human guinea pigs without a proper assessment in the first place or treatment.

Elizabeth has been in touch with her sister this weekend.  The conversation was brief and awkward unlike usual.  I am sure Elizabeth is being encouraged to sever ties with me and I am not being treated the same way as the rest of the family because I have been outspoken but I have not been rude or aggressive towards staff like they have portrayed me.  Why didnt they call the police – I would have welcomed the police coming down to the ward.  I had a valid complaint and I did not get a satisfactory answer and right now I am most upset at the way Cambian are treating me as they will not give me a reason to justify the actions for escorted leave and supervised phone calls except for the fact this is my daughter’s request.

This is what she said to her sister:

Are you happy at the hospital and being in Wales?   “well I like Wales but nothing beats home”  I have text messages to say she missed me and that she prayed that she would see me at Xmas.

Are the staff treating you well? to this  Elizabeth replied that they were but she had also said directly to me a few days ago when money was missing in a card given for Xmas that “you know how things are in here – it is very strict”. 

It is very sad and I hope that Mr Cameron and the rest of the Government do look at my letter and not just send a standard one out saying that I should contact the PHSO.  They are voted in as the Government and they should do something about the current system.

If “treatment resistant” patients who constantly return to the wards are blocking beds for others who need short term acute ward services then this is wrong.

It is wrong that patients are not treated nicely and listened to.  Patients become more damaged as a result of being ignored instead of being included.  They should be included as peer support and the funding provided to groups of ex patients that which to help such as Speak Out Against Psychiatry who are sometimes the only visitors to someone stuck on an acute ward isolated from the rest of the world.  If this group (which is not a militant group) have helped me and other mothers have turned to them then this group offers a great service of reaching out to people that are otherwise unreachable and have a complete understanding of what it is like to be on these wards greater than any professional.  The patients should be working alongside the professionals and made to feel useful and this is not happening under the current care system especially when these ex patients really care about other people and want to help.



I did not expect many people to turn up to the surprise party for Elizabeth but many did come, close friends and neighbours who have known her for years.  The atmosphere was good as well – I think if it had just been myself and my younger daughter and two escorts the atmosphere would have been awkward.  How can you have a conversation when someone is listening in on very word and reporting back to the psychiatrist and no doubt Enfield Mental Health who for all I know have imposed these rules.  I reckon that Enfield Mental Health know everything that is going on – this is a team who clearly do not like me at all otherwise they would not have tried to replace me as the Nearest Relative in such a way, giving me no time to get a solcitor to represent me in court let alone get the time off work to attend.  Enfield Mental Health must also have known and discussed about the move to Wales. It is a long way from home and probably they see it as the best thing – the further away the better from me, the mother they wish to replace and sever ties with.

If I was replaced as the Nearest Relative I would have no say whatsoever in the care but what this team has done is exclude me from the very beginning in such an obvious way.  They  have gone out of their way to invite Elizabeth’s father to come to the Tribunal.  They have gone out of their way to ensure that I do not have any sight of the files to cover up the fact that she is on 500mg Metformine or she could have diabetes.  Elizabeth would be blissfully unaware as she is so drugged up she cannot think straight and this team play on that, manipulating everything even the wording “you have upset the apple cart”!   Well that says it all.  

I had to speak to Elizabeth about the missing money for Xmas and she was so confused she did not know where the red envelope was and eventually staff had to help her – I was going to call the police but the staff got involved and I hope it is true that they found it like they claim to have.   Anyway I asked Elizabeth outright about certain things and got some very disturbing and contradictory answers.  I cannot share these at the moment. 

This team must be desperate if they do not give the file to my solicitors for the managers meeting and my solicitors had to complain as well as adjourn the meeting.  This has all contributed in holding up proceedings for the Tribunal which will be my tribunal  – that should have taken place before Xmas but there was some mix-up with the court and they thought it was my daughter’s Tribunal but this has already been unsuccessful.

By the way Elizabeth was absolutely fine when she came over.  She spoke to several friends who she knew really well – she seemed Ok to me as sometimes she would have reacted against crowds and when there was no reaction this made me think all the more that this team have DELIBERATELY prevented my daughter from spending Xmas with her family. 

Anyway I wish to share with everyone a link as I am not alone having a daughter trapped in a cruel abusive system that deprives a vulnerable patient of their human rights and what is more I am not the kind of person to sit back and do nothing about it.

This article in the Daily Mail is extremely interesting.

Meanwhile Mr Milliband is coming to Enfield and I would personally like to meet him. 

Mental health care should be top of any agenda in my opinion as it affects so many and it is sad there is so much suffering going on and what a waste of public money.  If these tribunals are not being done properly then it can result in a waste of public money. 

The longer someone is kept trapped in a prison like atmosphere it is costing a huge amount of public money to do this as well as push psychiatric drugs that do not work. 

I would like to show Mr Milliband all the information I have on the schemes I would like set up in the UK.

The whole complaints system needs looking at – here is the last paragraph of the CQC’s letter to me:

“The PHSO is the final arbiter in any complaint matter and therefore the CQC cannot consider any request for investigation once jthe Ombudsman has either completed or declined an investigation into your complaints.”

I cannot even read the signature and there is no name on this standard letter and I feel that neither the CQC or PHSO have done their jobs properly in my daughter’s case.  I am far from happy with these complaints bodies that are supposed to look into cases of abuse and it is no wonder cases like Jimmy Saville relating to Broadmoor go ignored with their attitudes.  Something needs to be done that is for sure.

I am back at work now but thinking of the New Year and I have  had a terrible year.   I am determined that the New Year will bring about positive results and I intend to go to any lengths to get these results.








I have previously said that I am only allowed supervised phone calls and escorted leave and the Manager at Cambian says that the supervised phone calls are at my daughter’s request and will continue until further notice.

It is Xmas next week and normally I would have shared having Elizabeth between myself and the rest of the family.  There were never any arguments above this at all.  However this year is unique as I am not allowed to have my daughter – apparently she is supposed to be too ill but then what are the top people at Cambian and Enfield thinking of.   If someone is ill it is beneficial to be home amongst the family.  Both Cambian and Enfield Mental Health have shown an abnormal way of thinking however I think a lot of this had to do with the psychiatrist Dr A W who went off on maternity leave.  Perhaps now she will know how it feels to be a mother as her treatment of me has been absolutely apalling and not in line with the way the rest of the family are treated.  She has used her powers against me with the agreement of Enfield Mental Health no doubt and the rest of the team have no choice but to go along with this and this is where more investigation needs to be done at top level.  It is the people at the top who spoil everything and give everyone a bad name but I know only too well that this decision is coming from the top and I decided to make it as nice an occasion as possible for Elizabeth. 

I rushed out in the morning to do shopping and then cooked food for a buffet and did hot and cold food.  I enjoy doing this sort of thing as it is nice to see people.  Trouble is the pace of life around here in London makes it difficult and the fact I work full time.  So, I went to pick up the gift I got for Elizabeth in the town –  a while back I had photos taken of her and she looked very nice and I made some of these photos into a calendar.  I gave a cheque to Cambian so that they could take her out shopping which is something that I would have done and miss doing myself.

There was huge traffic on the roads and Elizbeth did not arrive until gone 2pm by which time most of my friends had arrived.  These are people that have known Elizabeth for a very long time, like when she was a little girl.  I noticed that Elizabeth had brought some things with her including a child’s toy car.  These mind altering drugs have the effect of making someone go back to childhood.  I did not comment because I have also seen that Elizabeth will buy babyish toys and nothing like what she would at once time have bought.  I did too much food and her younger sister put on some up to date music.  The staff were very very nice who bought her.  I do not have a problem with the nursing staff except of course some at the Bethlem who was very unprofessional in the way that they behaved.  These nurses clearly looked surprised and Elizabeth seemed to enjoy herself and was very pleased to see her pet kitten and has grown a lot.  All too soon the day had ended and at around 5 pm the nurses had to say it was time to leave but I could see the expression which was one of sympathy but what can you do when you have to deal with the heartless people at the very top. 

I am going to ask this same question to Mr Jeremy Hunt.  In fact they can all get a letter and a piece of my mind as I have listened to Mr Clegg – it is about time he listens to me and the others too.

I cannot believe I will not see Elizabeth for the first time ever on Xmas Day.  Xmas Day is on a Tuesday and this is a day I am not allowed to ring. 

People who have known me a long time and my daughters were very shocked at the way I have been treated.

I am not looking forward to Xmas Day without Elizabeth this year.



I had called in to Harrods in the hope they could provide me with something collectible to auction with regard to the alternative care centres that I would like to see set up in the UK to provide decent humane care not only for my daughter but for many others.  Many people are in despair with the current care available and acute wards are not good places to recover – they should only be used short term at the very least not for periods of up to 2 years or more.  It is no wonder patients do not get better and also to make it easier for the staff this is why they drug the patients up with chemicals and raise the dosage on admission.  The atmosphere can be tense and volatile and can be very disturbing for someone who is extremely vulnerable.  There are members of staff who are dismissive towards patients and sit in their office ignoring a patient who is knocking at the window for attention.  I do not think these wards are safe either especially if they are mixed wards.

Anyway, Harrods were helpful and I ended up doing some Xmas shopping there as well and then just down the road at the Ecuadorian Embassay there were huge crowds gathering and international press lined the road in expectation.  Mulled wine was being served and demonstrations were chanting in support.  I was not standing in the best location to see Julian Assange but he spoke loudly and clearly and the message of his speech was given with clarity and was most interesting to hear.  I listened to some of the conversation in the crowd – six months he has sought refuge at the Ecuadorian Embassy – he spoke of the importance of freedom of speaking out against injustice and mentioned specific cases.  I could not agree more that there is much injustice in the world and the press do not report things honestly at times. I admire someone who goes to lengths to fight for justice and reveals the truth about what is going on in the world.     Well, I can identify with that and I wanted to present to him a copy of my leaflet to show that there are many people under a life sentence with the shocking mental health care currently available and that does not just apply to the UK either.    What do you get when you speak out –  you get banned!  You get labelled and comments are written about you behind your back which I have seen in previous files.  I dread to think what the latest files contain.  What is even worse in my daughter’s case is that these drugs are harmful to her long term health and I would like these drugs to be reduced in a proper and decent manner.   I want a proper assessment done by Dr Walsh and the reduction done just like Dr Ann Blake Tracy instructs on her CD.  I am not expecting her to come off the drugs completely however nothing has been done properly –  I cannot accept a diagnosis when promised a drug free period of assessment and the reduction was 150mg off Seroquel then a mixture of Olanzapine introduced.  This whole hospital the Bethlem Royal Hospital has done things in a very deceitful manner and they get money from it.  Experimentation on weak and vulnerable patients and sanctions imposed when their reductions cause adverse behaviour – then of course it is law that they can force someone to take the drugs.  They should pay for people to be human guinea pigs and not use vulnerable patients in such a way.    I am waiting for an explanation as to why my daughter’s face was covered in bruises in that hospital.  It is not good enough to say “I am happy with that” or “what day did that occur”.  The latter I could answer exactly as I wrote about it on my blog and as for the lead nurse saying I am happy well I as a mother am far from happy.  There could have been an innocent explanation –  however at a hospital where they drug patients up like zombies to their hearts content I as the nearest relative that they tried to dismiss need answers to these questions.  I do not expect to know everything but it is ridiculous the way they try to cover up and all stick together and then they try to make out that I am aggressive and nasty.  What chance could I have against such a big team who copy in so many people in so many roles to my emails.  I am still waiting for a reply from Gus Heafield (CEO) to my recent email.   The only time you can get to speak to these people who hide behind their desks is if you go to the Annual General Meeting and this is worth going to.  Otherwise it is impossible to get to speak to any of these people.  I would personally like to speak to Dr James MacCabe and Professor Taylor about the shocking research papers I have seen.  The consultant psychiatrist said my daughter was in good hands and that I should sit back and let them get on with the care.  This is laughable.  I told him that I was not the type to sit back and do nothing and that I had done extensive research and had been in touch with experts.

Anyway, on Saturday my daughter is coming home – I am going to make it a pleasant occasion.  I will not be seeing her for the first time ever at Xmas.  I have not seen her for while either.  She is being brought down by two members of staff from Cambian and she has already been brought down to see her grandparents on a separate occasion.  It is a while since I have seen her as it is too far for me to go down at weekends as I work full time as well plus I have strict restrictions on how long I can see her and it has always been with a member of staff standing over and listening to every word, no doubt with orders to report back to the consultant psychiatrist who is probably looking for a reason to ban me altogether from contact.  When I ask what the reason is I never get a proper answer.

I have a missed call in my phone from my daughter recently but mainly I have text messages that she misses me, misses her cat, is looking forward to coming home – I had one that she prayed she would be allowed to see me over Xmas.  If someone is so ill they cannot come and stay because of this then why on earth bring her down and take her back in just one day – this is not fair treatment.  However Cambian have said she requests supervised calls for instance.   If my daughter has said these things, she has said them when she is drugged up to her neck on Clozapine which is notorious for sedation and can enhance confusion in patients. 

I can only think that they do not want me to see how she is when she has taken this drug along with the Metformine which is not being given as it is supposed to be given but off label for weight loss which Dr Ann Blake Tracy has told me – most likely being given to counteract diabetes.

If someone is treatment resistant then it means they have failed and if the care has failed then the least the drugs companies should do is to chip in and provide the likes of my daughter with a choice but there is no choice in the UK – whereas there are some places like Earth House in the States for alternative care and in Finland in Tornio where they have unique care.  I would love to send my daughter to these places – if only.  The care in the UK reminds me of the pushing of drugs given to Michael Jackson.  However, this is under the NHS and this does not make sense when they are short of money and yet waste it on all these drugs that do not even work and then it is a drain on resources when a patient ends up suffering from a serious condition as a result of these chemicals.  Cambian is continuing with all that and has not attempted to make the slightest bit of a reduction.  It would seem that all these experts do not have a clue how to do a reduction properly and at the Maudsley I made sure that I brought in all the information I could because I am a Gold Member of the International Drug Awareness Coalition governed by Dr Ann Blake Tracy who  has given me such wonderful advice and thanks to her I have been able to pass this advice on to other professionals although at the Bethlem this was not appreciated at all.     However, there is a new psychiatrist who has replaced one who clearly did not like me at Cambian and I have yet to see if things will improve.  He at least seemed to listen to me and did not turn around and say no when I mentioned about Dr Walsh and his assessment but it is too early to say for sure yet.  He even referred to “if I was paying for that – he could not see any problem or words to that effect”  – Lets see in the New Year what will happen and I hope and pray this new psychiatrist will be kinder and listen to my daughter and work with myself as Nearest Relative.  He did say that he was keen to liaise with family whereas the other one was dismissive and disliked me from the beginning. 


Nick Clegg has been in the news recently regarding reforms that will allow mental health patients to choose their Consultant Psychiatrist.  It will encourage psychiatrists to relate more to their patients for a start but unfortunately this will not come into effect until 2014 and something should be done now.   However such is the manipulation going on that if a patient is on a high level of drugs, they would simply not have the capacity to ask for anything let alone a better psychiatrist so I fail to see how on earth this will benefit the likes of my daughter.

Nick Clegg’s other comments relating to legalisation of drugs made me horrified.  I can see why some people feel that why not because the Government is missing out on revenue and to target the dealers.  However, nearly all the sons/daughters of people from my carer’s support group have been on Cannabis (Elizabeth took no drugs by the way to my knowledge).  Without realising it they could be taking a much stronger version of – Skunk)  However, with all these people who have experimented with drugs such as Cannabis they are now suffering from mental illness and end  up on acute wards causing strain to already stretched services and at huge cost to taxpayers especially when the care is not working in so many cases and the same patients return time and time again to the hospital for further treatment of drugs and more drugs.  Once on these drugs you cannot just come off them.  How much is this costing the NHS to push all these drugs at the patients and long term when that patient suffers from diabetes etc then further strain on the system?  It is all wrong in my opinion.

The biggest drug pushers of all are the NHS and huge profits go to the pharmaceutical industry  for drugs that are passed as being “safe” but in fact are highly dangerous – not everyone gets on with these drugs and that is where something should be done.    Prof Healy documents the scandal going on in his book Pharmageddon.  Having seen the effects of these drugs on my daughter  he is quite right.   In cases like the current shootings it is not always documented that anti-depressants/anti-psychotics are behind such incidents.  When I challenged the Sun Newspaper yesterday the person I spoke to on News Desk put the phone down on me when I mentioned as to why they had not looked into whether anti-depressants were behind this shocking news.  The Sun could not stand any criticism of their article so it would appear –  focus is placed on the person who committed the crime and family background and reasoning from this point of view.   If someone is on prescribed drugs and suffering  from Akathisia nothing is said or done – this is kept quiet from the public the dangers of these drugs and how they affect serotonin reuptake.  When someone is unstable suffering from Akathisia (a direct result of the prescribed drugs) that person is ignored – staff stay away for health and safety reasons.  There is supposed to be a crisis team but they stay away for the most part.  The only way to get someone into hospital is to have them arrested or to persuade someone to go in voluntarily.  Quite often you cannot persuade someone as they are beyond reasoning.   This person could once have been placid and calm and law abiding, working and doing all normal things but the introduction of such a drug causes that person to change completely – I have no doubts that the drugs could be behind this behaviour and it is nothing to do with so called diagnosis. You only have to look at DSM 5 to see there is a diagnosis for everyone and that this is all in aid of profits.   I believe a breakdown is caused by trauma – bullying is a huge factor.  Rape and abuse also can contribute but so can many other things such as the loss of someone close in a family.  Drugs are not the answer as they do not help that person come to terms with what has happened and therapy should be given instead of pushing and forcing drugs. 


I believe the Government make plenty of revenue out of the prescribed drugs as it is –  I speak of  the Royal Bethlem and their experimentation on the weak and vulnerable who get the funding for it..  Drugs can lead to further addictions.  Some people I know thought they were taking Cannabis when in fact it was skunk so legalising the drugs can lead to more people than ever suffering from mental health problems and any profits made will be wasted on healthcare as someone suffering from mental  illness is frequently admitted into hospital where the treatment is yet more and more drugs. 

Nick Clegg and Mr De Bois say nothing about the psychiatric drugs that are legally pushed  on people like my daughter against their wishes when they should have had decent humane therapeutic care in the first place.  On the occasions when I have met with Mr De Bois he  has said he cannot help me and he has met Elizabeth too.    Yet Mr De Bois is speaking out about illicit drugs and that a prison sentence is not right, that help is required.  What about help for the likes of my daughter then.  What about the never ending prison sentences of mental health patients trapped in a system for years on end when they are of no danger to society and they are forced to take drugs on treatment orders that can last for years and years on end.  Mr De Bois said he could not help regarding this healthcare and praised the professionals however as you can see from my blog not all professionals behave in a decent  manner and some can use powers against you if they do not like you.  Mr De Bois referred me to the PHSO who are inundted with complaints and have closed my case time and time again.  It is a pity Mr De Bois and Nick Clegg do not suggest a new approach such as Soteria and I especially like the ideas of the Root and Branch Project.  It is a pity both Mr De Bois and Clegg do not talk about reforms in the law to stop abuse like the Jimmy Saville case going on  as mental health patients are particularly vulnerable –  there are many more cases like this and I am still waiting to hear from the Bethlem why my daughter’s face was covered in bruises and to think I had to tell them the date! 

I would like to see Mr De Bois and Mr Clegg take more interest in the mental health issues and listen to what the patients have to say and carers such as myself, some of whom are from top professional backgrounds and have sons/daughters trapped in a totally inhumane system of mental health care where abuse is rife.  There are no decent professional organisations to turn to if you have a complaint and that is why cases like Jimmy Saville go unheard of for years on end and there plenty more cases of abuse  they should both come to one of my group meetings and see for themselves what the patients have to say.  They should also look at the facts that if patients get proper  decent care they will not be a drain to the NHS and taking up beds on acute wards and acute wards should only be used short term and for crisis only.  

I have featured the Root and Branch Project in a previous blog and I believe a new approach needs to be taken.  How about getting this set up Mr Cameron, Mr Clegg and Mr De Bois!  With the money the Governments gets from all the drugs pushed at mental health patients they should invest on Soteria, Root and Branch and Chy Sawel so that patients can have even more choice – not just choice in psychiatrist but choice in where to go for their care as it is not the answer always to just keep dumping people back into care in the local area.  Sometimes someone needs to move out from the local area either have a break or make a fresh start.

Mr De Bois and Mr Clegg and Mr Cameron should be looking at the way the law is that allows psychiatrists powers to act against you if they do not like you and this contravenes human rights laws.  The open dialogue approach is good and available in Finland.  I wish I could send my daughter to Tornio Finland or they should get Soteria set up or any one of these projects mentioned above. 

This short visit is planned just before Xmas for between 2 – 3 hrs.  A record compared to what I was allowed before on previous visits but of course two members of staff will be present to supervise this visit.

I am meanwhile waiting for a reply to my email below.

“My daughter is miles away from home now and hardly sees anything of me and so I would like to know the following:

Why have you only made arrangements with her father and excluded me from the beginning?   She already had a firm of solicitors acting for her – why did you exclude them and try and replace them with Welsh Firms? -…………………………. most confused about this.

Why am I having escorted visits and supervised phone calls? (This arrangement does not apply to her father).  I have a letter from Dr …………………stating that she is too mentally unstable re Xmas.  

I have already said to you that I feel you do not trust me and you have said this is not the case. I offered you references from my police training which you declined.  You have not given me any valid reason.  If it is not fact you do not trust me and especially as I have said before I would not attempt to get her off the drugs – what is it then?

For how long do you intend to keep on with this arrangement of supervised phone calls and visits?

How long do you intend to keep my daughter at your hospital?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely”

With regards your query in connection with replacing your daughter’s solicitor with a Welsh firm, this was at her request, because she felt she wanted to choose her own solicitor rather than have one that had been chosen for her prior to her transfer to St Teilo House.
  “As you state in your email, Dr ……….has already set out in her letter to you dated 23rd November the reasons why …………..will not be granted extended unescorted leave over the Xmas period.  However Dr ………..did agree that escorted leave at Xmas will be facilitiated and that is why you have been allocated a time to see ……………….on the 22nd December.  Please let me know if this time is not suitable for you.” 
“I would like to reiterate that your supervised phone calls have been arranged at your daughter’s request.  This will continue for as long as she wants.  However, we are happy to change the day and time as I appreciate that you have difficulties speaking on the telephone at the previously artranged time because you are travelling home from work.  Please let me know if you would like the time to be rearranged.”

Elizabeth’s latest text to me the other day asked after her pet cat and that I should look after him.  She was looking forward to coming to stay but the team have put a stop to this.  I cannot say more about these comments that she wants supervised phone calls! 

ELIZABETH’S COMMENTS “Mum staff are watching me all the time.”  “I will call the police on them – you are still my Mum”     –  apparently the supervised phone calls and escorted visits only apply to me not her father.  I h ave heard he has had unescorted leave but what is bad is they do not give you a reason.
” At her CPA Meeting in August, your daughter’s treatment plan was agreed by the team.  She is still currently in the assessment phase of this plan and accordingly her Responsible Clinician does not consider she is well enough to be discharged from hospital, as this depends on when her mental state improves.  However, please be assured that your daughter’s clinical condition and treatment are being kept under close review.”
Elizabeth felt dizzy and suffered a panic attack because of her fear of heights when I went out on the escorted leave with the manager.  She is of no danger to society – she has no strength, she had to hold on to my arm thanks to the high level of drugs she is on.  They could forever say this as an excuse and keep her a prison forever.  Elizabeth said “Mum I may never get out of here” –  “why did you put me in hospital” –  She was in fact transferred from the Bethlem where she was promised a drug free period of assessment by Prof Murray which was not carried out and three more drugs introduced and then within a day or so to Cambian Four Star Wards giving no time for anyone in the family to say goodbye even.

In relation to your comment about not being trusted, I can only reassure you again that this is not the case“.

I have been busy over the weekend and had some friends over for dinner which was nice.  The weekend has come and gone so quickly but there is not a day when I do not think about Elizabeth and wonder what she is doing, hoping that she is being looked after nicely but unfortunately, Elizabeth’s prayers will not be answered this Xmas.  She is not being allowed home for unescorted leave and I heard when I listened to a voice mail at the end of the day that I have been allocated just 2 hrs some three days before Xmas and Xmas Day falls on the Tuesday on a day when I am not allowed to phone because of Cambian’s demands for supervised phone calls.

Cambian have not responded to my email which I sent about 3-4 days ago in which I asked them what they had against me.   I have hardly seen my daughter since she got transferred to Wales within about a day leaving no time to even say goodbye.  I know for a fact she wanted to come home – what gives this hospital and team the right to destroy things for everyone at Xmas. 

My younger daughter is devasted as she does not know if she will be around that day as she has a job that involves working weekends.     

The fact of the matter is they are treating me like a criminal by giving only escorted leave.  When I asked what their concerns were – did they want character references etc.  Did they not trust me?  all these questions resulted in comments such as “its not that”  – then what is is then –  I would like Cambian Four Star Wards and Enfield Mental Health to make a public statement to the world as to why they are doing this and wrecking everything this Xmas.  It is the ultimate punishment on their part because they simply do not like me and that is what it boils down to.  From the word go they have tried to replace me, excluding me out and I believe they also excluded her solicitor.  

“you are still my Mum, I will call the police on them”   Well this has made me think of my former application and perhaps I could reconsider as I feel something needs to be done about the care situation. My treatment by this team is a far cry from the training I was receiving during my police course in terms of respecting other people and not discriminating against anyone.

I am so devastated as Xmas is usually a very happy time I look forward to and it will be quiet and empty without Elizabeth who has not been home for so long now.  There has never been trouble or incidents with her at Xmas – why are they so worried now when I had to deal with the most adverse behaviour prior to her transfer away from the local area.  No-one cared then so why now?  What are they worried about?    Why have they not replied to my email and correspondence and phone calls are third party with someone else phoning me and not the manager.

 There is huge emphasis on control at Cambian Four Star Wards and I have not even met this doctor who has used her powers against me and the rest of the family destroying everything for everyone this Xmas.    Enfield Mental Health must know all along what is going on as they are paying for such care which must be a huge amount of money however, the care on their shocking wards left a lot to be desired too with an incident on practically every single ward – I would not wish for Elizabeth to return to Enfield Mental Health wards either.

 I am so devasted about Xmas that I cannot think what to do next as yet about this situation. 

Here is the message from my daughter which I have by text sent to me on Monday 3rd December. This message puts in dispute that Elizabeth only wants supervised phone calls when in fact she has been contacting me unknown to the team.  Elizabeth also wrote that she would ask the Manager at Cambian to see if she could see me at Xmas.  I then got a reply from Cambian – an email saying that they understood that the time available and agreed by the TEAM that I could ring my daughter ie 6.00 pm on a Monday could be re-arranged to a more suitable supervised slot once a week.  I have not as yet responded.  I am too upset to respond to a team who have treated me like a criminal from the very beginning.   A team who do not care at all about other people’s feelings, a team who have gone out of their way to manipulate my daughter and got rid of her existing solicitors.  I have not even the strength right now to complain about them but how on earth did they ever win the title of Best Care Provider in the Private Sector with the likes of Roger Black at their award winning do. 


The psychiarist Dr A W clearly did not like me from the word go and even referred to my past behaviour – God knows what kind of things have been written behind my back by the Bethlem and team.  I have never even met this psychiatrist and now this psychiatrist has gone off on leave for maternity but she has clearly gone out of her way to try and interfere with my daughter’s choice in terms of family arrangements and has ruined Xmas for the family especially myself and my younger daughter and I will never never forget what this psychiatrist has done.  I know for a fact that the rest of the team go by what the so called professional doctor has to say and she was very pro the Maudsley and called it a world-wide leading renowned hospital.  It was far from this – it was a research hospital where in fact they experiment on the weakest and most vulnerable people making huge money out of the funding provided by major drugs companies – whilst there could be an innocent explanation, bearing in mind the cruel laws of this country that allow such abuse to go on in the name of profit for these major drugs companies who instead of paying for people to take part in their clinical trials do so at their hearts content with the likes of people like my daughter.  Once drugged up and messed about with high dosages of drugs they are like “putty in their hands” and Dr James MacCabe and Prof Taylor have a lot of answer for and so does the Consultant Psychiatrist who she was under.  The pharmacist sat there smugly smiling throughout meetings until I pulled her up.  I was told to sit back, relax and leave everything to the professionals but what did they do-  three more drugs were introduced and one given off label for diabetes Type II.  It would seem if you dare to speak out against their shocking so called “care” you get treated as a criminal and human rights go out the window.  It is a cruel world and we are supposed to live in a civilised country in the UK but I have not got a good word to say about the UK and its care for the mentally ill.  There is much abuse going on and nothing is done.  Here is an example of what is being done by the CQC in their letter to me of the 05th December.


The letter has the reference 4/4/12/54.   The signature is totally illegible.  All it says is Information & Advice Officer with a scrawl of a signature.  This is a Government funded organisation the CQC that are supposed to investigate complaints and it would appear have done nothing.  I am waiting to hear from them in regard to my complaint on why my daughter’s face was covered in bruises.  For all I know she could have been beaten up by members of staff.  Who knows what goes on behind closed doors.  Maybe she refused to take her drugs and that is what they did to her.  I have no proof at the end of the day.  The reason my daughter’s face was covered in bruises could be one of many.  Perhaps she upset another patient – there could be an innocent explanation but it certainly looks suspicious especially when the ward manager had to ask me when this occured and I was able to tell her on the exact date this happened because keeping a record of this through my blog is very beneficial.  I was quite frankly shocked at the extent of the bruising.  Another reason is perhaps my daughter did that to herself!  One thing is for sure having experienced the extremel cruelty of the staff of the Fitzmary II Ward who have a blog by a former patient dedicated to them – anything is possible.  Whilst visiting the ward the patients told me that they were not happy –  they said things like their human rights were being abused.  What have the CQC done about this?   The CQC are an organisation who are not interested if you turn to them and tell them your daughter or son is being abused.  They are not interested in individual cases at all but I pointed out to them that there were many on the ward complaining of their rights.  In fact I know someone in hospital at the moment complaining of their rights but the CQC could not care less and send out a letter with a scrawl of a signature you cannot read to cover their backs and pass the buck to organisations who are already inundated with complaints such as the PHSO who have shut down my case on several occasions.  The letter states as follows:


“I have received a copy of the letter summarising the outcome of the investigation into your complain, you can contact the Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman Office (PHSO) within the next 12 months saying why you are not satisfied. The Ombudsman can investigate complaints that the NHS (or NHS funded care) in England have failed to act properly or fairly or provided  a poor service.


The Mental Health Act also grants the Care Quality Commission (CQC to consider an investigation. 


The PHSO is the final abiter in any complaint matter and therefore the CQC cannot consider any request for investigation once the Ombudsman has either completed or declined an investigation into your complaints.

Both the CQC and PHSO have failed miserably to do anything for my daughter.  It is a complete and utter waste of time going to either of them and in my opinion they should both be shut down.  It is a waste of taxpayer’s money to fund organisations that allow abuse to continue under mental health care and get away with earning big salaries for doing nothing at all.


The only way you can get someone to listen to you is if you are prepared to pay thousands to take matters to court.  To think taxpayer’s money is being wasted in such a big way on the likes of these organisations is horrendous and then on one occasion they came back to me that the care was “satisfactory” – this was an occasion where two firms of solicitors had outrightly said they were negligent at Enfield and yet the PHSO came back with the words “satisfactory”.  This was when my daughter went missing – I have all the files in this case and this points to negligence yet still they try and defend the care by saying the words “satisfactory” – it is only when a programme like Panorama gets hold of a particulare case of abuse that they do their job from what I see. 


It was truly shocking what happened to my daughter at that time and I was told by a nurse “no harm done” but I believe the opposite.I was ready to take them to court and this has been one of many shocking incidents that have happened to her over the past years leading to her decline some of which occurred on the wards themselves.


Now of course the team are desperate to get rid of me in any way they can because I have been outspoken and for no other reason.  They simply have no other grounds and I know will go out of their way to try and reason as to why it is not beneficial for my daughter to see me but in fact they are protecting their own backs.    I realise that they may try all sorts of tricks such as say that I myself am mentally unstable myself and that it is being done for my daughter’s safety –  How can this be?  I work full time – I was up until recently training to be a police officer –  I most certainly am not mentally unstable but I certainly would question the stability of some of the psychiatrists involved –  I question how they are desperately trying to defend their jobs in light of the increasing amount of professionals who are willing to honestly speak out and state that the drugs are not the answer and that cases should be looked upon individually In addition they cannot accuse me of trying to take her off the chemicals as I am not a doctor and she would need professional help in order to do this however it is not impossible and can be done in the right environment but in this uncaring country there is nothing and patients end up feeling in a hopeless situation and no longer caring what happens to them.   If my daughter had had the drug free period of assessment I would have been ready to accept the diagnosis however I know for a fact you cannot take someone off 150mg off Seroquel in just 2 weeks and not expect some kind of adverse reaction and then of course that is how they justifiy the sanctions they impose and these very sanctions are preventing me from seeing my daughter at Xmas.  I have asked time and time again for their reasons but they say nothing. 

You do not know how bitter I feel about this.  I am happy to go out of my way now to try and get the much needed funding to see groups like Soteria set up that give kinder care and consideration to the mentally ill.  There is not one single place int the UK set up and that is apalling.  In America there are centres such as Earth House – why not here?  Why could not one place be set up as a pilot scheme to see how it works.  It certainly works in Finland in a place called Tornio where I desperately tried to contact people to see if there was any way I could send my daughter over there to have decent care. 

As I have said before I am trying to raise the money.  I have approached two London football clubs so far- Chelsea  and Arsenal.  Hope to contact West Ham and Spurs to to see if I can get players’ signatures on tee-shirts which I am prepared to pay for to auction on Ebay in one big auction to see if I can raise the money for one if not all of three centres called Soteria, Chy Sawel and Root and Branch Project to be set up to provide humane care for my daughter and many people like her trapped in a never ending prison environment (some of whom have no voice and no family to speak up for them) they never get better because the only cure is drug pushing and that does not cure someone who for instance is a rape or abuse victim and only provides profit for the pharmaceuticals who in my opinion should be doing something to help the many “treatment resistant” patients by getting them reduced gradually and off these harmful drugs.  The fact they label someone as being treatment resistant says it all – it means they have failed – failed to treat someone effectively, failed to address the underlying reasons for the decline in their mental health and have done so by the easy route by pushing drugs and nothng else which is clearly not the answer.   It is also failure that a so called civilised country such as the UK do nothing to stop the abuse going on right now and see the only cure as drugs which of course bring huge profits to the pharmaceutical industry which in turn have close association with the Government.  With all the money the Government waste why could they not at least try such a scheme based on the care available in Finland.

I wish I did not live in this cruel country.  I so much want to leave and take Elizabeth with me to anywhere in the world where she can have the right kind of care.  A care that is humane and kind and addressed individual needs.



I received several text messages on Monday from Elizabeth.  She told me she was spending Xmas with her Dad and he apparently has bought a new cat.  I then asked did she not want to come home to see the cat that I bought her and to see myself and her sister to which she responded that she would ask.  She also wrote about the fact she was reading the Bible and I think she was excited about Xmas. 

 It is a long time since Elizabeth has been home and when I could see the shocking Bethlem hospital were not doing the promised drug free assessment and the Section 2 had come to an end I did try to get her out of there.  I found out when the Tribunal was and got time off from work but the solicitor recommended by the hospital said “do you really want to go through with this.  Elizabeth was unhappy about meetings etc and backed down and it was a complete waste of time.  Unfortunately there was her chance gone – her chance to get off the section and at a time when she was not unstable and just on the Olanzapine.  I still thought that the social worker who was very good at the Bethlem could have got her into somewhere good in a better area than where we live as he had discussed with me about where she could first go into Rehab.  Bearing in mind some events that happened prior to admission I was keen that she did not end up on the wards of Enfield Mental Health once again.  I wanted her to make a fresh start really so that she could hopefully get on with her life and be happy and there were too many bad memories locally.  Suddenly this social worker went off sick unfortunately – he was about the only member of staff there I truly trusted and the only social worker I have come across under the mental health who was good.  Anyway the next thing was they wanted to get rid of me as nearest relative and actually drew up court papers to this effect leaving me with no chance to get a solicitor because I did not agree with the Section 3 at all.  The fact that things were not done properly led to sanctions being taken against Elizabeth as you simply cannot come off 150mg of Seroquel over 2 weeks it was the consultant psychiatrist’s fault in my opinion.  In addition, mixing a drug with another can cause someone to become unstable and this is what happened and she was so disorientated that the next thing she was put on a drug with the initials M (metformine) and then Clozapine unknown to her.  So, before the Section 3 I was suggesting she remained first of all as a voluntary patient until the social worker found decent rehab care as I did not feel the area where I livewas the best thing for Elizabeth at the time because of recent serious incidents and the fact that the scheme certainly would not have been a place to return to that would be safe for Elizabeth.  However, when I saw what this hospital (Bethlem) did and the way I got bullied, I did not want for the Section 3 to go ahead and felt that this team could not be trusted at all in the way that they behaved .  I desperately wrote directly to the Judge herself to explain my situation but was worried about being replaced as the Nearest Relative as I was the one who did most of the visiting and had researched all these chemicals plus taken expert advice –  I knew they wanted desperately to replace me with someone who would just go along with everything without any conflict ie., her father.   I was also seriously considering in desperation and despair having Elizabeth home especially after I saw what they did with all those drugs in such a deceitful and despicable manner but by this time she would have needed a nurse to care for her as she could hardly walk once put on the Clozapine and was in a bad way. Still home would havge been better than the shocking Bethlem. 

Anyway, getting back to the messages – one said “I pray I will see you at Xmas, Mum”.  (Well, the letter from the consultant psychiatrist of Cambian clearly said escorted leave only and that she is too unstable to stay over Xmas).  I do not believe these comments at all. 


The next message from Elizabeth read that she would ask about Xmas leave and I thought to myself – that is a waste of time judging by the letter I received shortly before.  After she had asked, I got another email but from the Manager of Cambian.  The Manager wanted to speak to me but whilst at work it is difficult and the message came through her receptionist.  I later responded stating it would be best to correspond in writing as I was in an open plan office and could not speak.  When I got home from work I wrote to her and asked some questions which I am still waiting for the answers to.  The message was about the supervised phone calls once a week that I am allowed.  I think she wanted to alter the time of this phone call I stated that 6 pm  was not good as I travel home from work then.   I have not been phoning at all because I do not feel comfortable having supervised phone calls and besides Elizabeth has been texting me even though the team do not seem to want me to have any contact with her other than supervised/escorted leave.

After I received that last letter about the time of the phone call  I immediately thought I must act and do something because more than ever  I would like Soteria, Chy Sawel and Root and Branch project set up and the Goverment does not care less so again I thought of my auction which I propose to do to raise money for these projects.  I have thought of collectible items and am waiting to hear from various sources if they can help me.  Of course I do not mind paying for some of the things but things like autographs are collectible items and I read that Ebay say these sort of things do well in an auction.      

I do not know yet whether I will get the signatures I need but it is worth a try.

Last of all today I got another phone call and this was when at work.  I will report later on this as I do not know what this is all about yet.

Despite the ban on me phoning Elizabeth she has been in touch with me although the messages have been very brief and today I got a couple of messages that just said the word “OK”.  I wanted to phone her and speak to her but know that this would not be allowed by the team of Cambian Four Star Wards.  I did not know what she meant by “OK” so I wrote back briefly by text. 

I do not know what is going on because noone has telephoned me or written.  I am finding that at Enfield they say they do not know what is going on at Cambian and vice versa yet I am sure they must all be in touch and ought to know what is going on.  This reminds me of the care in the community where the team at the mental health housing were not informed what was going on by social services so it appeared. 


I am always very interested to hear what a growing number of specialists think and I especially admire people like Dr Ann Blake Tracy and Professor Healy amongst others.  The above links  are connected to Professor Healy and I would like to see him involved in my daughter’s case as you cannot dismiss the honesty of his comments or the wonderful book Prozac Panacea Pandora.  It is people like Professor Healy who give me hope.

I was pleased to get those messages from Elizabeth today and I have just heard from her sister that she telephoned the other day but the phone was not working and she had to go through the office.  I believe that Elizabeth is being brought down to this area but nothing has been said to me and so I doubt any visit will be made home and for the first time ever Xmas will be not the same at all. 

I cannot see any court cases happening before Xmas either.


Many people who know me personally have commented on how nasty the whole situation is.  The reason I want to make a stand is because I know of other people in the same situation or similar.  Some families have been torn apart because of this kind of situation.

Today I have been out shopping.  I have been doing some cooking as I have some guests from Italy.  I was meant to visit someone at the Bethlem Hospital but feel so drained and tired.  The whole situation is definitely affecting my health but my job keeps my mind off things.  I try not to think too much about this awful situation as there is nothing I can do right now.


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