Xmas is approaching – I have been left wondering whether I would be allowed to see my daughter at Xmas especially as I am banned from phoning her.  It does not look like I will get to see Elizabeth and how will I get the present to her? 

Yesterday  I had a call from the Manager at Cambian – I could not speak as I was at work.  I had previously written to Elizabeth’s social worker at Enfield Mental Health.  There is nothing but a wall of silence and I do not know what is going on.  I told the social worker that I could not phone at 6pm as I travel home on the underground from work then.  It would seem she got on to Cambian and that is why they were phoning to offer a different slot for my supervised once a week phone call.   Xmas day is on a Tuesday and I am only allowed to ring on a Monday so it looks like they have won as they do not want Elizabeth to have anything to do with  me by the looks of things.

Dr A W of Cambian has written in a letter received today the following:

 “I am of the opinion that at this point in time “Elizabeth’s” mental state is not stable enough for extended unescorted leave home over the Christmas period; however as a hospital we would like to facilitate escorted leave around the Christmas period. 

If you can liaise with C  the Hospital Manager in relation to escorted leave then I’m sure we will be able to accommodate this.

I am going on maternity leave but in my absence Dr …………..will be the Responsible Clinician.”

The above is not true as how come they allowed her out with her father only a week ago UNESCORTED.

So, Cambian are treating me like a criminal and they are trying to destroy the relationship between myself and my daughter and this is also affecting someone else in the family too.   I am prepared to face the world and let strangers judge me.  I think it is terrible what is going on and I am not the only one affected.  I know of quite a few others also in the same position.

I believe Dr A W dislikes me.- she has gone out of her way to exclude me with everything so far and include the father of my daughter. 

Escorted leave did not apply to him and he is not nearest relative and the team at Enfield and SLAM previously tried to replace him with me.  The reason they would like him instead of me is that he has never challenged the drugs or “care” being given.  I know he has gone out and bought a cat and maybe only he will be allowed to have Elizabeth over Xmas.  Cambian Four Star Wards are not treating us the same as parents and are trying to destroy the relationship between myself and  my daughter. Enfield Mental Health are in contact with them and know what is going on and are not giving any information to me at all.  The new social worker has done nothing to answer any of my queries as to what is going on at present.  It is humiliating to have to have escorted leave and have every word of your conversation listened to and no doubt repeated to Dr A W who seems petrified for some reason that I should be allowed 5 minutes alone with my daughter.  Perhaps they are worried she may talk and say she is not happy there.  Perhaps they are worried that she may disclose what is going on behind their closed doors that would interest the world especially as they have won an award as Best Care Provider 2012 recently and had some well known people involved.

They are petrified that I get to see the files as they are worried about legal implications.  If they have called me all the names under the sun then this could be the case but I am not bothered as I have seen it all before “CRUEL, ABUSIVE, OVERBEARING, BUTTING IN ALL THE TIME (WHEN IN FACT I WENT UPSTAIRS TO ALLOW TIME ALONE WITH THIS PROFESSIONAL) HIT HER AS A CHILD, AGGRESSIVE, NASTY.”………………  HERE ARE SOME OF THE THINGS I HAVE BEEN CALLED BY SO CALLED PROFESSIONALS.  

I think the Maudsley, Bethlem Royal Hospital have written some nasty things about me and they do not wish for me to see the files for good reason and also the question is how on earth did my daughter get so many bruises all over her face.   They did not like it when I got hold of lots of their research papers which showed exactly what was going on under this shocking hospital and Dr A W stated to me on the telephone that this was a world wide renowned leading hospital.  Yes —–world wide renowned but for what —-the treatment my daughter had was a disgrace and the way I was treated there was like a criminal. 

I am not surprised at all on hearing that a Broadmoor patient was abused in the Jimmy Saville Case and put into solitary confinement (featured on TV last week).  This goes on all the time under the cruel mental health care of the UK, only much of it does not get into the news and the press would be inundated if they took up every case of abuse as there are so many judging by what I have heard.   They abuse human rights and take control of that person and their rights are stripped from them and you should see some of the shocking wards. 

To think that Dr A W is going to be a mother herself. This Doctor thinks she is like God with the powers given under her job.  I think she has been extremely cruel in what she is doing and now she is off for her maternity leave and going to be a  mother herself!    Dr A W has a lot to answer for in my opinion and my solicitors are bringing matters to court soon in favour of my daughter’s wishes to come off the section.  I cannot say more than this because of the impending court Hearing.  All Cambian want to do is keep her on section – keep pushing the drugs at her at the same level as prescribed by the Maudsley, because it makes it easier for them to have someone so drugged up to their neck that they cannot do anything hardly and are so confused that this same patient is like putty in their hands so they can control and manipulate as much as they like.  They are denying my daughter the chance to have the holistic care under Welsh law that she could choose to be on the minimal rather than maximum of drugs like she is on now.  God knows what damage is being done to her body organs and the longer this goes on her life is at risk.  There is no way I ever want Dr A W to forget the cruel way she is treating my daughter and myself and not only us but another family member at Xmas  which should be a time for families to get together.

Cambian Four Star Wards – Best Care Provider of the Private Sector 2012 –  yet they have destroyed my happiness this Xmas and that is down to Dr A W.

I took the Manager of Cambian out in my car when I last visited, I paid for a meal for everyone – at one point  she suggested my daughter got out of the car and walked alone with her back to the scheme leaving myself and younger daughter to drive a short distance up the road.  Perhaps this was the only time my daughter was allowed out for a bit of fresh air that day. 

I know that Elizabeth enjoyed a firework display recently, I also could see that she was more panic stricken than ever and was petrified of heights when we looked around the local sports centre.  She was never like this once.   

This is what my daughter has said:

“you are overturning the apple cart” – 

“You could lose me altogether if you are not careful” 

“You are interfering with the care”

“the staff at watching me all the time – wherever I go they are watching, Mum” 

“I’ve got to go now”

“I am on 15 minute watch, Mum”

“Its very very strict here Mum”

When asked “is someone preventing you from speaking to me as there is always a problem with your phone?” she responded “Yes, but I cannot say by whom”

“I’ll call the police on them Mum – you are my Mum after all – I’ll have them all arrested” 

“I’d rather go into seclusion for the rest of my life than be on these drugs, Mum – please help me”

“Mum I feel terrible on these drugs I am suffering from this side effect and that –  I need a walking stick – I feel dizzy all the time”

“Mum the doctor had to be called out because of my heart again.

I wonder how Dr A W would respond if she was in my shoes as a mother?

This is what the team are trying to hide: – the last thing they want is for someone like me to know how  badly my daughter feels and whether she is well on these drugs – there are some days she feels OK but she is now isolated now and they have done this deliberately to save themselves from any problems.  Enfield Mental Health, SLAM, Cambian have all played a part in this.

Since being on the high level of drugs she has been put on despite 4 different diagnoses my daughter has got worse – this level of drugs is nothing compared  to another patient whose mother is now my friend and he is on over 1300mg of drugs and classed as being treatment resistant. 

Some mothers I am in touch with are in  highly professional jobs (such as doctors themselves) the sons and daughters affected are from nice backgrounds with decent parents and not abusive parents – not everyone has suffered abuse at home – they may have suffered trauma outside of home and family but then were given anti-depressants and that was that – Dr Candace Pert’s book Molecules of Emotion gives an honest account of these drugs.

How can Dr A W of Cambian Four Star Wards who is expecting a baby herself go off on maternity leave and respond to me as I have shown above that I am not allowed to see my daughter at Xmas?  Even though they say escorted leave, how is that going to work when I am in London and not in Wales?

All of this makes me all the more determined to try and raise some money to see Soteria set up and Chy Sawel and Root and Branch Project as there is no humane care in the UK.  It is all about control, manipulation, chemical brainwashing, destruction of family and isolating that patient even further.  You try to find a human rights lawyer to take matters further in the UK and there is noone to help you.  They say things like they are too busy with workload or else that they simply cannot help you. This shows how lacking the law is in this country and this is what the Government should be addressing but noone wanted to know when I called into Parliament they seemed relieved when I left and I was made to feel like a nuisance and yet just look at how much these politicians earn to represent people and yet noone was able to help me and if your local MP could not help then you should be able to turn to someone else quite frankly.  

I wonder if Dr A W would be so happy if that was her child one day taking all those drugs and I wonder then if she will understand how I feel right now.  For the last time, I am not telling my daughter to stop taking the drugs but I have thoroughly researched them and seen the terrible effects of these drugs on both my daughters and elderly father who had Alzheimers and I have been very very upset at the whole thing as I know you just cannot come off them without professional help and it has to be in the right kind of environmentnot in the community and the project of Root and Branch could be the answer here as a fabulous alternative to the shocking acute wards which can be more traumatic than anything else to a patient suffering trauma.   There is nowhere for this to be done in the UK which is a disgrace (unlike America where they have projects such as Earth House where I would willingly send my daughter for some decent care and the price is reasonable and they do take some referrals from the UK ) -it is far better to be on the minimal rather than maximum amount of drugs and that is what I am asking for – a proper independent assessment and to look at nutrient deficiencies/underlying health problems and the right diet and a reduction in the drugs so that my daughter can think straight.  Cambian do not care about the wellbeing of my daughter by the looks of it one bit.  She is just someone who provides work to their hospital because whilst on this level of drugs she will always be dependent on someone.  I am prepared to pay for a proper assessment through the wonderful Dr William Walsh who said he could help me.  I am not asking for anyone else to pay for this but this way I would know and accept what the diagnosis is and he looks at diet and nutrition and this would fall into the scope of this new holistic law so I have heard that allows choice to patients in Wales. 


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