The annual fete was on today at Bethlem Royal Hospital.    I am completely banned now from seeing Elizabeth – the team have all ganged up against me – I hope God is taking care of my poor daughter as she is surrounded by evil right now.  It is pure evil what is going on under this awful ward Fitzmary II.  The patients are controlled and kept prisoner – virtual prisoner and drugged up to their necks against their wishes on poisonous highly dangerous chemicals and they are given extremely high dosages so I have heard and I know from former patients this is above BNF limits –  experimentation and clinical trials regardless of the risks involved.  As I am sitting here now I am crying my eyes out and thinking this really is HELL ON EARTH –  I absolutely hate this ward and as for the staff, they are the ones who have been threatening against me.  Thank God I have some good friends but there are none for my daughter and I am going to put out an appeal for friends to keep a look out for her as she is in a truly horrible place right now.  There is noone to help my daughter because the advocates are not independent as I see it.  Constantly the Consultant Psychiatrist was using them as an excuse not to come out with answers to questions.   Today’s meeting was about the usual topics that have not been resolved – medication as I want  her off the Clozapine, access rights to my daughter as they referred to  two incidents where staff gang up against you and say things about you but do not tell the full story.    ONe of the incidents was heartbreaking where they would not even allow my daughter to stroke her pet kitten.  They are truly evil.   I am very very unhappy about what they have done for her against her wishes with these drugs and I have read the apalling research papers ie:   

Dr James MacCabe talks about “re-challenging patients who hae previously experienced suspected blood dyscrasias or crdiovascular complications of clozapine at the National Psychosis Unit.      So this is what goes on under this hospital regardless of patient welfare –  it seems to be all about money making.


She was too ill to even come down the stairs and walk around the grounds .  The team are so very very cruel –  they have described me as aggressive and threatening, causing upset to patients and team alike –  I am just one person against so many of these staff who have the powers to use against you and can act like God to prevent you from seeing your own son or daughter whenever they see fit.       The purpose of today’s visit was to discuss grievances but I do not feel comfortable with any of this team apart from the social worker who I believe is still off sick.   A friend came to support me and is very much involved with advocacy and patient’s rights at the hospital.  Being a former patient himself he was marvellous in the kind way he mediated and acted like an advocate between myself and the team.   This would be a much better person to be involved with my daughter’s advocacy as I would feel a little happier knowing that she is being fairly represented whereas I do not feel that at all right now.   He was not allowed into the carer’s meeting with me so I did not bother to go.    Elizabeth has spoken to this man who put himself out to try and help and support her and I was so grateful. Because I am no longer allowed to see my own daughter she wanted a few things.  I could not believe the cruelty of one person in particular who said “she has got everything she needs on the ward”.  It is this person who I want my solicitors to deal directly with and this may be the only option if things are not in place better next week.  Not only that two firms of solicitors will be acting and there is no way that Rethink are going to be used yet again to stop my daughter from having a completely independent firm of solicitors rather than one recommended by the hospital.  If they try to stop the completely independent firm then I will get my solicitors involved.  That is how bad things are.   Today I telephoned the police as I am seriously thinking of working in the local area as this was what I wanted to do – to work with people like my daughter and the Police do some good work in the community that often goes unnoticed.  Apparently they are in need of volunteers and I now have time to spare as I am not allowed to see my own daughter and do feel this would be beneficial.  My daughter must be suffering and he is probably laughing because he thinks he has more powers than God himself.  Today I went to the local churches and asked them to pray for my daughter – I would like to see visitors on that ward in the absence of myself but no-one hardly goes because families often live too far way as this serves people from all over the country and also there are those who have been abandoned by their familiies and have noone.


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