The following was written by Elizabeth – the first piece earlier on in her treatment, the latter piece is up to date and you can tell from the writing and thoughts how she has deteriorated due to all these powerful mind-altering drugs that have done her no good whatsoever.
I have the permission of Elizabeth to display this on my site:
“Being on the Ward”
I can say that I don’t like being stuck on this horrible ward. I have recently got a bit frustrated from the amount of people on the ward when I threw a book and a chair and threw water everwhere. I can say that it is horrible because of my small room.
I really need to be moved on because you know my life is stuck and I feel confused. I am currently waiting for Rehab that means moving somebody somewhere you know. Please help me get a room at Rehab. I have a good friend at Rehab called …………………
Thank you for reading this.
Unfortunately it was after nearly 2 years Elizabeth got moved on to another ward – supposedly for Rehab purposes. The friend she mentioned got moved into supportive housing and she was the only girl amongst about 9 men on a mixed ward that had separate sleeping accommodation – a recipe for disaster for a vulnerable patient. On this ward I noticed patients just lying around not doing much at all – it was on this ward she started to smoke and this was allowed on the patio area outside the ward. I did not want her to end up like the others, inactive, lying there on the sofas or half asleep so I booked Elizabeth on a floristry course at a local college myself and this caused uproar amongst the team. I also tried to get her involved with a team sport (netball) which was her wish at the time and this was completely outside of the mental health, also in addition I was taking her to running and special olympics. She was an excellent runner and once was fit enough to go running with my gym members which is more than I could have done. Anyway, once a week when I worked part time I would pick Elizabeth up and take her to the college. Most evenings she would go into the class but there were one or two she flatly refused to go as she did not feel well enough. Almost every time she suffered from panic attacks before going into the class and could not breathe. However, you should have seen her when she finished the class and came out with lovely flower arrangements that some of the nurses themselves wanted to purchase and every bit as good as what others made. She was happy, laughing – like a different person altogether. Clearly Elizabeth has artistic talent and enjoys this sort of thing. but needed help with her written work and unfortunately although help was available if she wanted it the problem is that once someone says “no” after that no-one bothers. “No” could have been said at a moment when Elizabeth was feeling particularly bad and no-one pursued this any further or gave any encouragement. As a result she has no certificate to show for all her efforts – the college were upset and so was I. The psychiatrist who was furious at the time actually said it was a good thing what I did to take her to college.
As far as Rehab goes – everything is “in-house” – patients are not encouraged to mix outside of mental health services and I think this is totally wrong. Her social worker said for instance that “she was happier mixing with her own kind” How wrong this is – how can someone be integrated into society effectively. There are lots of groups designed purely for mental health patients and some of them are good but it is not a good thing to mix solely with other patients who all have serious problems of their own. I think there should be a mentoring scheme available where say university students, particularly those studying for nursing qualifications/psychology got involved on a one to one basis with patients like my daughter. They could learn from meeting the families and encourage someone to do things. A young person is more in tune with someone like my daughter than a psychiatrist for instance. When I tried to do this and appointed someone I knew well around her age who was studying for nursing – it caused uproar amonst the team- by this time Elizabeth was living in the community. Patients are left to go downhill. Elizabeth not only referred to the ward as being “like prison” but said she did not feel stimulated and also commented on being “institutionalised”. When she was first admitted on the acute ward again I did not want her to end up like the rest and tried to get her a job – the job was working with old people where my father went to a day centre as this is what Elizabeth said she would like to do. She got on extremely well but when they asked for a reference from the team this was not forthcoming at the time so she missed out. Not only did Elizabeth get on with the staff but also with the old people as she was used to seeing her grandfather who had Alzheimers and by the way was on anti-psychotics – Rispiridon and Seroquel. When you as a parent try to get involved and to help someone you get called pushy, overbearing, abusive – you name it – I have the files and have read them!
Now Elizabeth feels she cannot do anything – she has lost her confidence, suffers from panic attacks amongst other things, has no energy, no enthusiasm – does not care any more after being labelled with the serious condition of Schizophrenia but how many other diagnoses are in the files – For instance I have the files and there is not only that condition but also Aspergers. Who is right and who is wrong? One expert says one thing but the majority of the experts stick together and say the other and that is why I do not trust any of them and have challenged them all. I believe the current behaviour of Elizabeth is caused directly by the drugs and have sought outside private professional help who have confirmed this with a fully qualified Orthomolecular Psychiatrist and have taken her to a private clinic – I am also in touch with other experts and have signed up to www.drugawareness.org.
People are not aware of the dangers of these drugs and what it does to people and once on them you are chemically brainwashed, weakened and they have the effect of dehumanising a person. Many people trust these professionals and do not know what is going on in reality. Elizabeth has not got over bad things that have happened to her therefore the drugs have not worked but when you ask to come off them – no-one wants to know and the psychiatrists just ignore a patient who begs to come off them which is cruel and abusive to continue to ply a patient with these awful drugs against their wishes. There are no facilities for patients to come off psychiatric drugs safely in this country and Yes it can be done but it is only when things get really severe like in the case of Elizabeth that the teams are forced to listen and do something about the situation.
Alternative care should be available for everyone in my opinion to give choice to patients. Every NHS hospital should employ an Orthomolecular Psychiatrist.
By the way – thank you so much Dina for your contribution to the site in writing about the shocking care available – Drugs and psychiatrists are like drug pushers who experiment on a patient without having any scientific evidence behind their claims of diagnosis. Patients and carers believe what is told to them as I once did but now I have found out the truth – IT IS ALL DOWN TO MONEY AND THE MORE PRESCRIPTIONS THE MORE MONEY.
Now for the second and most recent piece of writing from Elizabeth:
“Today Sun 8 January Mum’s been talking to me about having my cat live with me but unfortunately I dont feel well. I’m still on the medicine – I have the devil attack me a lot unnecessarily. I don’t hate the devil only the ones that expectme to respond and I cant – not I …..dont want …..but I sometimes simply haven’t got any words to say. I feel forced against my will. I will only do what I need to – I have had troubles recently – people staring at me at the shopping centre. This makes me paranoid. I love my cat though he is very nice.
About where I live – my Mum is upset and didnt like being banned from the building where I live. I need to go in somehwere to come off the medication. Please could you arrange it as I feel terrible. I get very bad headaches. At night I get nightmares/hallucinations after I take it. Please can I come off the medication and go in somehwere nice.”
This writing was barely legible with lots of crossings out – you can see the difference between this and the last piece of writing – THIS IS WHAT THE AWFUL DRUGS ARE DOING – ELIZABETH NEVER SUFFERED FROM HEARING VOICES IN THE FIRST PLACE – SHE DID NOT SUFFER FROM HALLUCINATIONS. WHAT IS IN THESE DRUGS? WHEN I APPROACHED THE DRUGS MANUFACTURER OF SEROQUEL THEY SAID THEY WERE FORBIDDEN TO SPEAK TO ME BY THE BRITISH PHARMACEUTICAL INDUSTRY.
This weekend is the last weekend ont he acute ward for Elizabeth thank goodness and I hope to see her today and we will go out somewhere as we usually do but it is a nuisance I have not got my car back from being repaired and this will restrict where we go.
I will write later about this.