The most important book to me in my life, not only in my own development as a writer but in who I am as a person was This Way For The Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen, which is a book written by the Holocaust and Auschwitz survivor Tadeusz Borowski. That’s probably not important, really, except that he showed me how evil and dehumanization really works, and he did it in the plainest and most direct language, which is how I cannot help writing most of the time as a result, and particularly when confronted by evil. I believe that there is good and evil in this world, and that you have to know it when you see it. I don’t watch TV shows about drug dealers and gangsters and enjoy them. I don’t watch movies in which people exploit other people or kill them and enjoy it. I have seen evil up close and personal, and it doesn’t give me a thrill to see an account of it. Evil is not entertainment. But I also don’t walk by suffering and ignore it, as people who spend their time watching cool TV shows about evil do; I think it’s your obligation to do something about it, and to do it RIGHT NOW. When I read this obituary I had to cry, not only for admiration of one of my heroes but for the suffering that he tried to help relieve. A lot of people are talking about the Syrian refugees right now, and that’s good. But what most people probably don’t realize is that there is 1 schizophrenic in the world for every 100 people, and that these people are now undergoing what I call an Invisible Holocaust. There are, by my reckoning, more than 3,500,000 schizophrenics in the United States right now, and what most people don’t realize is that every single one of them who is forced to take drugs will die 25 years younger than you will, and that their lives — especially if the Murphy Bill passes — will be spent in misery and hopelessness and unfulfilled potential, all due to the effects of the deadly and horribly uncomfortable drugs they are forced by others to take. The United Nations defines this forced drugging — literally — as torture, but the United States ignores this ruling and goes on regardless, because the pharmaceutical lobby and the psychiatric lobby (a $330 billion a year industry) have such a lock on control of what’s happening. Most people have no idea that the killing methods and hidden form of the Holocaust itself was designed by psychiatrists, and that the first 250,000 to die were schizophrenics — BEFORE they implemented the same program on the Jews. What made this man a hero was that he recognized that kind of evil when he saw it coming and he spent his life doing something about it. You can sit back on your TV and click to another cool show if you want, and ignore the cries of suffering in the world. Or you can do something about it. We’ve lost a hero, but even more important is that we need heroes who are willing to do what it takes right now, before it’s too late, and even more millions die.

“Those Who Have The Privilege To Know Have The Duty To Act.” —Einstein

Elizabeth and I are getting such wonderful advice right now from an expert on nutrition.

I am going to share some of this wonderful advice with everyone.   I am hoping to meet up with other former patients at the weekend.   Some of the wonderful advice I have received could be of benefit to them as well.

One of the treatments to help people get rid of excess oxalates is to take very high doses of magnesium, or in some cases, actually give intravenous infusions of magnesium. Because it has the least solubility with oxalates magnesium will help to dissolve them, so to speak.


Elizabeth was transferred to this hospital NPU from the local area.  She was very ill at the time suffering severe adverse reaction to maximum levels of concomitantly prescribed drugs given so I can see documented.  I have already mentioned them but 800mg Quetiapine is maximum level –  Clorpromazine on top, Haloperidol on top as well as Zopicol and Lorazepam.   No wonder she was having adverse reactions.

She was promised a drug free period of assessment by Prof Murray and  I thought that this was a specialist hospital that could help Elizabeth and if she was allergic to these drugs, proper assessments would be given and I had it all in writing that she was being offered a drug free period of assessment.  After admission when I was concerned that Elizabeth’s Advanced Declaration appeared to be ignored – why were they pushing Clozapine?   I made a point in showing the staff the letter from Prof Murray as well as drawing to their attention that Clozapine as a drug that Elizabeth did NOT wish to be on.  They just ignored this and I soon got to find out to my dismay “you should have done your research – its all about Clozapine here”.  I can confirm that this drug does not work as Elizabeth can still feel emotion and there is nothing wrong with this.

Anyway here below is what happens when you object to a team’s proposals and  when you dare to speak up for your relative.  Here below documented are the most ruthless dealings you can expect at this and other establishments within the UK in breach of human rights and Article 8 HRA:

Included in an email from social worker from local area  dated 19th November 2012 were the following recipients:

There were 2 social workers (YES ELIZABETH HAD TWO SOCIAL WORKERS AT THE TIME BOTH FROM THE LOCAL AREA);  Consultant Psychiatrist from Bethlem (BEDLAM);  Ward Manager from BEDLAM;  lead Nurse from BEDLAM:   Heading “SECTION 3 APPLICATION” – The email was written by one of the social workers from the local area.

“Dear All”

The email states I had withdrawn my objection to section 3 detention under the MHA – however she refers to my email where I had numerous concerns and I am going to document extracts of my email here dated 31st May 2012:

“It is not in my daughter’s interest that I am replaced as the nearest relative as her father lives a distance away and does not visit that often”.

“Since  I have been given no time to find a legal representative to help me in court I see little chance in me succeeding against all the team and against the Section 3 MHA Application so unfortunately I have no choice but to say “yes”, even though my daughter is unhappy and blames me for being in what she calls “prison”.”   So my daughter called it prison and hell on earth in the files.

“I have made the Honourable Judge … more than aware of the reasons for me complaining and I think that I and the rest of the family are owed an explanation as to why my daughter’s face was covered in bruises.” I referred to a visit I found out my daughter had been visited on the ward by someone who had made threats against me from the local area.  Apparently he had been allowed to come onto the ward drunk with alcohol.

I go on to say that” I had no regrets for challenging the team – if this was their daughter they would be thinking differently.”  I referred to lack of help with money at local level where in the scheme in the community she  spend money on things other than food and at other times no money would be withdrawn from the office.  So in other words Elizabeth was not eating correctly and not having the correct nutrition can affect someone badly if they are on these drugs.  Living off takeaways as she was too ill to do simple tasks such as cook/clean her flat, wash up, throw away rubbish and cook.   One evening she was sitting in darkness as a light bulb has blown and there was not a spare one available in the scheme.  She was just going downhill as she had spent a long time in hospital prior to discharge into the community.   I also mentioned that she had “lost – (stolen) expensive items such as a keyboard, two guitars, a playstation 2 and jewellery.  I had asked for an examination of the CCTV but nothing was ever done about this.

My main area of conflict with the team has been against the drugs.   I do not agree with drugging someone for life and wanted to see her on minimal levels but they just ignore this.  There is not one single facility in this Country for someone to go in to be withdrawn safely from psychiatric drugs and no one is considering the long term effects of the drugs to the patient – they do not consider the risks of this at all which is a disgrace in my opinion.  If someone is misdiagnosed or have multiple diagnoses – termed “treatment resistant” this does not make any difference and they are expected to take drugs for life even though the diagnosis is in question.


Prior to these emails there is correspondence from someone who I believe is in the legal team of SLaM.  In her email dated June 2012 she is discussing the best way to get rid of me as the Nearest Relative and advising the consultant psychiatrist there that it is possible to displace a nearest relative for reasons other than they are objecting to a section 3 application including that the nearest relative is otherwise not a suitable person to act as such.  She goes on to advise that the application can be made by another relative – the patient or an AMHP.  She said that they could not pursue that this week as the application to displace before the court was simply on the basis of the objection to Section 3.    She goes on to say that she thinks it is highly unlikely that Elizabeth would feel able to take such action but that the care coordinator from the local area would be inclined and is planning to have discussions with her legal department in the LOCAL AREA!



Copied in to this email above is the two social workers locally, Ward Manager/Lead Nurse and Psychiatrist from the Bethlem.

EMAIL FROM THE CONSULTANT PSYCHIATRIST NPU –He asks if hypothetically if one can proceed with the displacement of the nearest relative even if they are not objecting to detention.

Around about this time a new social worker was being considered – (the very one that continued with this campaign of “displacement” of me as the nearest relative/family destruction most recently in the current attempt to sever contact .   I can see copied into correspondence the Manager locally who is objecting to certain files being released that contain serious allegations made against “someone” and they will not even supply the name/number of the police officer concerned.  How interesting two names from her department as well as a note that they plan to ban Mrs B from the ward and it all about the compliance of the drug Clozapine for which Elizabeth flatly refused in the first instance and in an Advanced Declaration too.  This is all these so called professionals care about the pushing of more drugs at my daughter and banning and displacement of nearest relative trying to cause trouble and divide within the family.   This note is coming from the social worker at local level. prior to her discharge from the Bethlem and transfer to Cambian.  It shows how the team were writing and in touch with Mr B in an attempt to cut me out altogether with total disregard to the damage this would cause  Elizabeth coercing one parent to agree and go along with their wishes.   So first of all Olanzapine and Quetiapine were mixed together – Olanzapine was given at maximum levels at the NPU.  Then Olanzapine was being titrated with Clozapine.  I see the copy of the Advanced Declaration Elizabeth signed dated 25 March 2012 – showing her objection to physically invasive treatment and that includes psychiatric drugs and ECT or psychosurgery.  Well she was offered ECT – how interesting. The truth is all coming out now but Elizabeth cannot remember whether she actually had ECT – she remembers seeing the words ECT on the door so ECT does go on there according to Elizabeth.

I sat there taking down the minutes in shorthand at a CPA  meeting on Friday 04 May and brought with me a witness – a long term family friend.

I had disagreed with the consultant psychiatrist as to how the reduction was going to be done and told him this could not possible be done in two weeks. She was on a huge amount of drugs already so I know this much that taking someone off too steeply can cause psychosis as well as mixing more than one drug together.

I quoted my daughter’s remarks “Get me out of here – I am so unhappy”.  Elizabeth told me she did not go out much and she said “lets go anywhere and get away from here because I cannot stand much more and she went on to describe it as prison”    I felt devastated as this is not what I had in mind for my daughter and thought they would help her but instead they just put her on maximum amounts of drugs and Clozapine against her wishes.  “I want to come home Mum”.   However the team had other ideas as documented above.   At this meeting which had much less people than the last one where there was about 9, I noticed the pharmacist smiling as though she was highly amused but when I commented this took the smile off her face.  The times I have seen certain members of the team sitting there smiling and having their own private joke.   The meeting did not go on long and came to an abrupt halt when I disagreed with the consultant psychiatrist  and had even brought with me a cd on how this should be done correctly by Dr Ann Blake Tracy as well as other information by Professor Healy regarding the Olanzapine.  As well as the pharmacist smiling so was the doctor and he called for a halt in the meeting and said it would continue another week.  I went to stand up and said I was not happy and wanted the meeting to continue he said “Get out of the room or I will call security and have you removed”.    I told him that he was going against God and that he was abusing my daughter by not listening to her wishes.”   It was very noticeable that Elizabeth who wanted to sit in on some of these meetings was not represented by an advocate but when I looked them up to my horror I saw consultant psychiatrists on their Board so I felt an advocate should be appointed who was completely independent ie., no funding!  I am afraid that excludes Mind and Rethink but I found an excellent advocate  who went to town on his emails and had vast experience of this hospital and it was good because I got to know everyone’s names.   Who better to appoint but a former patient who had full  understanding of everything.  I shall give you some examples of his support later on.

Getting back to the Legal teams – this is something written by someone in the legal department locally.   Apparently their application is founded only on the unreasonable objection ground and though the court envisage likelihood of the exercising of power to dischsarge as an alternatiave ground apparently this was not what their application says and to amend it at short notice to mother did not seem acceptable to her.  Instead she goes on to say that” if they can go with the S3 that removes the current difficulty of having been unable to extend the S2.”   She therefore thinks that “mother should be informed that the Section 2 IS NOT IN FACT EXTENDED and invite consent from her to withdraw the application on the basis she DOES NOT OBJECT TO SECTION 3. ”  All of this coming from an area who call themselves “committed to serving the whole Borough fairly, delivering excellent services and building strong communities.   


The Multi Discipline Team feel it would be more beneficial to visit Elizabeth off the ward.   The MDT request you refrain from visiting for the next 3 weeks.  This does not mean you are not able to have visits off the ward.  A nurse escort will be provided for agreed leave determined y her Section 17 leave.    Wow –  I was given just 1 hour to visit and so what could I do in one hour?  I tried to bring some life onto this morgue of a ward where patients were drugged up to their necks and the grounds outside deserted.  I contacted certain celebrities but none were interested in visiting so I was prepared to pay for Tai Chi or Relaxation classes or even something more lively in the one hour I was allowed to spend with my daughter but then it came to the point where no amount of time was allowed not even was Elizabeth allowed on a hot sunny day.  This was not allowed and Elizabeth and other patients were cooped up on the ward like prisoners.  I have already documented how not once did Elizabeth get taken swimming and I noticed the swimming pool being used by the community and not by the patients.   I was threatened with arrest if I did not leave the premises so I called the Police myself and I noticed staff wore name badges back to front.   I could despite all of this praise one or two nurses there but I have no praise for certain other team members who just went along with everything treating Elizabeth like an object.  I would praise one nurse who came out running with us in the one hour allowed visit.  Elizabeth could hardly walk let alone run and this is when I found out they had given her Clozapine and Metformine.   I have only just found out about the Clozapine Chemotherapy and wonder why this was given – the family need to know if there are any health problems such as cancer and diabetes WHY THE SECRECY?  Whilst the team banned me they did not ban someone from the local area who turned up drunk and brought alcohol on the ward.  He was escorted off and banned apparently.

I am seeing now the full truth – the person who was appointed to investigate my most recent justified complaint about the deprival of medication for which I had no choice but to contact solicitors as no one in the team was budging – not one person helped me locally – she is the Manager of the department over which two other members of the Team rule – familiar names so I see.  All this in an area where the Chief Executive says “I am satisfied”  – how many times has she said she is satisfied that the care is excellent/satisfactory, that she is satisfied things have been dealt with fairly and now I can prove the opposite!

I had just one day’s notice to get time off to attend the court case in Bromley and had court papers sent to me over my work computer in front of all my colleagues.  I was bombarded by phone calls by their legal teams.

Extracts from Elizabeth’s appointed Advocate:

“Hi ………………

Please make sure that Susan Bevis’s extremely serious concerns, extremely reasonable proposals and extremely reasonable requests get responded to appropriately and with appropriate speed from this moment on , as, so far, these matters seem to be being treated as of little importance and not at all urgent, when the reverse is actually needed.  SLaM’s usual “tardiness” syndrome must not be allowed to deliver sloppy responses long after far too many horses have bolted.  And SLaM’s usual “sloppiness” syndrome must not be allowed to treat “slow response”, or “no response”, as acceptable.  You should listen very attentively to Susan because she is a “plain speaker” who does not try to make excuses for the behaviour of your so called “professional staff” when their behaviour ranges from the  “mindlessly and thoughtlessly rude”  to the “unbelievably insane”.  Invite a documentary team to spend a month on your wards because the real abusers always smarten up their acts when they know that they are being watched.  Behind closed doors, your “hospital” has “normalised” abuse —  it has allowed abuse to become routine, and a way of life – and the fact that most other Trusts have done the same does not make this Okay.  I strongly recommend that you instruct the entire management team to stop being compulsively defensive and start working positively with people like Susan and I. because you should be treating us as your greatest allies.  We are all on the same side.  We only differ in politics, where Susan and I believe that openness, honesty are always the best policy, whereas current SLaM culture dictates that arse-covering must always be the most important order of the day. “

My advocate then goes on to give some examples of the abuse he has suffered in terms of restraint but because of lack of evidence nothing was ever done about this.

“I strongly recommend that key senior managers get together for an extensive fact and action establishing meeting with Susan and I and other members of Speak Out Against Psychiatry, preferable at a time and location that suits Susan and I although Susan and I will be flexible about this because we always put swift high quality  results ahead of personal convenience. 

Here are a list of proposals from Elizabeth’s Advocate  who she appointed herself having had a long conversation with this former patient who clearly has a great understanding:

Our priorities should be :

  • Research alternatives and treatment organisations that would be more suitable for Elizabeth.
  • Get a good solicitors and Tribunal set up ASAP.
  • Get a substantial (2hr) CPA meeting set up to take place c 2 weeks before the Tribunal wit a view to closing as many perception gaps as possible, with a view to getting some agreement as to what best possible future options might be, with a view to getting everyone on Elizabeth’s side in ways that she is happy with, and with a view to making sure that when the Tribunal takes place, no one gets any last minute horrible surprises spring on them (which often happens even though it is not supposed to happen).
  • Make sure that all Tribunal – required clinical reports are ready for review in advance of the CPA meeting.
  • Finally please don’t be too upset about the attitude that says “I like to start afresh with each patient and I have enough reading to do”  Contrary to the view of most psychiatrists that “patients never change” and “patients never move on” and “we don’t need any fresh diagnoses based on up to date fresh assessments because the old diagnoses are always good enough –  contrary to this view most patients do move on and fresh up to date diagnoses, free of note based assumptions should always be given priority over what one assumed (possibly incorrectly) many, many years ago.  Taking “history” too seriously can be highly problematic and can lead to all sorts of wrong decisions being made based on information that is no longer relevant.  Ignoring history is also bad but far less problematic – he goes on to give an example of his own situation that the professionals know virtually nothing about present day because they have no real relationship with the patient.

The experts” are only experts at building scary fantasy worlds in their own private worlds of ever more notes using a special private fantasy language that has evolved over the years for the purposes of pretending to help people and/or proving that clinicians are doing something useful, when deep down they know they are not.  This also arises from laziness, because the self-awareness and self-honesty required to build real meaningful relationships with a real live human being is not something that can be achieved by remembering instructions off the back of a fag packet.”

Well this just about sums things up.   My advocate has copied in many names but this is what a team does when I myself have written to just one person whose signature appears at the bottom of a letter.  In comparison someone who has real life experience makes a wonderful advocate and I have no end of emails supporting myself and Elizabeth – at least there is no report notes between advocates and social services etc.   You know you are getting 100% honesty this way and transparency and fairness in holding team members to account unlike what I have seen by designated advocates who get funding and write report notes to social services.

I am going to end here as my nutritionist has given me no end of instructions to prepare things for Elizabeth this morning and throughout the day.  Elizabeth and my nutritionist prefer to take food with them to the venue that is gluten free and does not contain any additives as my nutritionist and advisor is an expert in this field and I want to introduce him to the wonderful Dr William Shaw of the Great Plains Laboratory.

I am so happy with everything right now.  Elizabeth has come home smiling and  happy last night and is being taken some wonderful venues which I will write about later on.  I could not be happier.  Also some of the mothers are experts too on nutrition so it will be good to introduce him to everyone and I cannot wait to attend later on.


024-susan-kme12-scaled1000      Elizabeth’s cat is more therapeutic than all the chemicals in the world.     –  What can I say to this!    I would be interested to hear your comments after you have read the truth from above and below see the accurate blog below.


Tonight I have Sandra Breakspeare from Chy Sawel staying with me.  Tomorrow I will be meeting the other mothers attending Bio Lab/Gt Plains Laboratory Conference.   I hope at the end I will get to speak to Dr Shaw again like last time.

Elizabeth and my new advisor is coming with us.  He already knew about Dr Shaw’s research.

My new advisor is making sure Elizabeth is taken to healthy places and eats the most health foods.  As a result she is looking like a difference person.

Last Night 30.10.15

Met Sandra who had spent all day travelling all the way down from Cornwall.  Elizabeth was taken to a special place where there were therapeutic oils.  I will find out the name later.  Elizabeth came back home with some very nice things and Sandra and I tried one of the oils – again I will name the product later.  Elizabeth was very happy and Sandra commented on how well she is improving since coming home.

My advisor has left me a long list of instructions for this morning – breakfast and lunch as we will be making our way to the Bio Lab/Gt Plains Laboratory Conference.  We are hoping to meet Dr Shaw afterwards like last time.  I am sure everyone will be most impressed with the knowledge of my advisor.

I also showed Sandra some of the wonderful support I have had in advocacy when Elizabeth was sent to the Royal Bethlem Hospital (Bedlam) or (Hell on Earth as Elizabeth calls it).  I shall also share with you how they operate in liaison with local professionals.   It is important that this sort of thing is brought out into the open so that everyone can see what is really going on.

This morning – 31.10.2015

I was up early but then I am used to getting up early on a daily basis and travelling a fair distance.

Made  breakfast and then I took Sandra to the nearest Tube Station.   I had to move my car as a bus was coming as I was dropping her off with her cases.  When I saw the bus coming I moved up a bit further but someone came across to me and said “you will get a ticket”  –  I had barely parked to 2 seconds whilst I was helping get her cases out of my car and he pointed to a camera.   The Council must be raking in the money if they charge for 2 seconds and there was no one in this parking bay so I await with interest to see if I get a ticket and then I am going to tell everyone and everyone will know what area I live in.    I would not feel happy at paying such a bill for two seconds and the time was around 8.10 am.  The reason I would not feel happy in paying is that I have to pay my carers for parking at the local hospital on a regular basis in order to collect the chemicals. I pay full Council Tax.  As I have said I begrudge to pay because I have seen the enormous amount of money available to spend on care in the budget having been to the Scrutiny Meeting. I have also seen the enormous amount of money that has been spent on care that has made my daughter worse and not better.  Care that includes the most nasty remarks written behind your back by a team of so called professionals.   Even those I thought I could trust have been nasty such as an art therapist who has labelled me as being mentally ill.  He even went one step further and wanted a mental health assessment done on me.  Is his title Doctor by any chance?  Are social workers doctors in my area that they can push someone into taking drugs like Clozapine?   as Inspector Brown says “What the hell is going on”  –  Good question.    I am able to live on a day to day basis without one single drug.  I have coped over the past years with enormous caring responsibilities and combined this with working.  I kept my father with Alzheimers out of going into a care home for many years.   The only person who has not been ill has been me as I have been able to keep going.   I can see Elizabeth has my strength in character as when the chemical Clozapine was deprived for several days she coped and actually described to me the withdrawal symptoms.  It is sad how professionals gang up against all medical ethics and they do it to protect one another, their jobs being more important than someone’s life “it  is more than my job is worth to give you those drugs” –  this was the response when I offered to collect the Clozapine from the care home.

Anyway I will keep you informed about the parking ticket! and much more.

Despite everything, it has not been the case that there has ever been a family “custody battle” as described in the files.  The entire family came together for the sad occasion of a funeral for Irmgard, the Grandmother of Elizabeth and her sister.  The drug Clozapine failed to destroy the emotion of Elizabeth on this sad occasion so I wondered what on earth does this chemical do!  Elizabeth’s sister gave a tribute speech on the life of her Grandma.  Afterwards, the entire family came back to the house along with close friends.    It is sad to think that the Grandfather is now alone and  disabled, some distance away from the rest of the family. Elizabeth’s sister is able to help during the week and go over there and I too have offered help with shopping although time is limited to weekends.    It is sad Elizabeth cannot help as she would have been able to at one time.   Elizabeth is too afraid to go out alone and since coming home and there is no help as regards this.  As Dr Johnson correctly says it is about Truth Trust and Consent.   I have tried to get her to walk up the road alone but she refuses.  She is so terrified to go out she is choking/feeling ill and that also applies to when we take her out for meals. She has come out of the system disabled and to think at one time she was working, learning to drive and going to college.  She would frequently get a bus over to her grandparents house but relies on someone to take her out.   She says she feels dizzy as though she is about to fall over and I have read that is a side effect of the drug.   I have tried to take her to classes at local gyms and have just joined a new class for zumba  just down the road.  It is sometimes a performance to get her out of the house, there are good days and bad.  Elizabeth will   mainly stand by the side of the wall and close to it.  In order to help I have appointed a personal trainer who comes once a week now and someone who has been a very good friend lately has taken her out places as I am not around all the time during the week.  Apart from this I rely on close friends and family to help me.   It is now fifteen months since Elizabeth came home  but despite her fears of going out places she is improving and eventually settles down.   I could not do any of this if I did not work.    The Court case ended without even her fares being offered and this goes to show how disabled people are treated in this Country.

One thing I can understand is that Elizabeth is terrified to see the consultant psychiatrist and does not wish to see anyone from social services.  When you think that attempts were being made all along to section and force return her to care no wonder why she does not want to see certain team members.  Anyway they have not taken an interest up to 15 months of her being home.    On her own accord, Elizabeth had written a note to this effect and I understand from her sister that she cancelled a recent appointment as she did not wish to attend.    We would not have known about these appointments that Elizabeth would in any case have to be taken too as letters were written directly to her and I only got to hear via her sister.   Recently the words “it is not about you” have been said –  the fact of the matter is if you as family are excluded and someone like Elizabeth cannot get out of the house alone, who is it about?   I think it is wrong to exclude families and carers in some cases especially where help is needed.  I think it is wrong to spend vast sums of money on court cases that end without any proper settlement when someone has been treated badly – but that is what things are like in the UK.

This week whilst I have been at home, I have been extremely busy. I have taken Elizabeth to see her GP as I wanted to discuss the private test results I have had done recently.   We have also been to see our local MP and Elizabeth spoke to her –  during this meeting I mentioned the reason why my neither my carers not Elizabeth wished to attend a clinic in a neighbouring Borough.      Once a month Elizabeth has to go to blood tests in order to obtain the Clozapine and then my carers will collect the blood packs elsewhere .   We have also been to Harley Street for an appointment referred to from local level for an MRI scan in an open scanner.    Elizabeth also suffers from of claustrophobia but both services -one with an open scanner, the other a smaller one were run by private sector companies.   This large open scanner  was much better and although terrified, Elizabeth went under this and the tests have been done now.    Next month we have the appointment with the Neurologist.

Recently, through the organisation ISPS, Elizabeth and I took part in a session of open diaglogue  and we think this is brilliant and the correct way forward.  Anyway Elizabeth and I have asked to be transferred to an area where there is Open Dialogue.    There are some brilliant consultant psychiatrists and professionals who attend these events and despite  and I like the way everything is open and honest.   It is all about truth and trust but when Elizabeth and I have sat down together to read the shocking contents of the files it is difficult to trust people and it is not just me who has been written about in a bad way.    I think one of the worse comments I have read has not even come from a doctor  but from an art therapist who thinks he knows best by giving me a label of being mentally ill myself.    I could quite easily contact this person if I wanted to, but I do not know if I can be bothered – if he wishes to think this then let him!  If I was to speak to this person I would ask which diagnosis – after all there are so many of them to choose from in the DSM.    I expect this “expert” would most certainly also think that drug treatment was the correct way forward and like I said, even with the most powerful of drugs such as Clozapine Elizabeth was still able to cry and show emotion at the funeral.    I thought to myself what a waste of money!  All these drugs that make people disabled and not everyone is happy to be on them.   Having a diagnosis = having access to benefits.   This is a most unfair system whilst no help given for anyone to be reduced or come off these drugs./  Whilst some can metabolise others cannot.  Those who cannot metabolise can suffer adverse reactions and no proper testing is being done prior to prescribing.     I am still waiting for the results from Holland but even the short email that has come back to me puts everything in question including the whole diagnosis (and there are 5 different ones) – words to the effect of not being able to metabolize certain anti-depressants.   Prozac was the first drug given and to me that brings everything into question as this certainly had a shocking effect on Elizabeth. She became unrecognisable down to this drug.

I see there is a programme on mental health by Panorama next week.   I shall try and watch this as I believe that  it is the treatment that is wrong.  Elizabeth now needs prompting to do regular essential tasks and could not manage by herself.   In the scheme where she was sent after three years of incarceration she was expected to manage on £30 a week and it clearly says in the files she had no food and staff had to remind her of the importance of watching her spending.   Well £30 a week is not much money but it is not impossible to budget however for someone who has been in hospital for so long it sounds completely inadequate that that person is expected to manage and then goes without food.   It is essential that someone like Elizabeth on a powerful drug has the right diet. I thank God that I have the most brilliant support right now:

My house is looking more like a health shop.   My adviser is an expert on nutrition has been educating the entire family on far more than nutrition but healthy lifestyle and I am more than  happy to listen to this advice.

Elizabeth has been taken by my adviser to several health shows, a recent VeganFest, Chocolate shows, clinics where they have special treatments and saunas – infra red saunas.   The Adviser has shown us some wonderful places such as Nutri Centre and China Life Tea.

I now only cook with Coconut oil and use only Himalyan rock salt.

Coconut oil can: Stave off infections, increase energy  helping you burn more fat, can kill your hunger making you eat less without even trying, can improve blood cholesterol levels and may lower risk of heart disease.

The fatty acids in coconut oil can boost brain function in Alzheimers patients.

My adviser has told me about Bisphenol – a chemical used commercially in plastics and resins.   So I try and use stainless steel  and  glass instead of plastic.  BPA is not just in plastic but also in metal cans.

I also buy organic produce now too and if you shop around you can get reasonably good deals.  I am now looking through a huge folder of information given which includes things like:

Mild Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy is recommended.

Today Elizabeth has had Birch Tree Water and Vitamin D which is very important too.   Elizabeth says this is really helping her.

I am also looking at the bread I buy and the sugar content and chemical additions to food and especially in diet drinks.  I tend to buy gluten free.

Whilst Jamie Oliver focusses on sugar my advisor has gone much further with his expertise and I never thought about radiation levels in the house before but my adviser has come out shopping with us and gives instructions as to recipes for Elizabeth and has come round to cook.  He is a very good cook too and tends to do vegan/vegetarian food which is a good thing.

Cooking oils are important.    I have just thrown away some of the previously purchased oils and have and purchased healthy oils.  A fridge test can determine whether olive oil is good quality or not.  Leaving the oil in the fridge for a couple of days is sometimes enough to tell.  Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil will solidify in side the fridge while polyunsaturated oils such as sunflower and safflower oil will not.   This link is just one example I have been given.

I have also been advised to get some CherryActive.

There is so much information to take in and I am inviting my nutritional expert to meet other mothers who have sons/daughters incarcerated and they are good parents too yet many are unable to get their sons and daughters out of the rotten system.   We will be meeting with Dr Shaw at the Bio Lab’s forthcoming conference next week.  I am looking forward to meeting Dr Shaw again and seeing Sandra Breakspeare of Chy -Sawel –  this is the kind of treatment MH patients should have – good nutrition, a proper assessment into whether they suffer from food allergies, proper tests to see if there are infections/endocrinal disorders and the best way forward as if someone is on these mind altering chemicals they cannot just come off them easily and this is why it is so important to have the correct diet and expert advice.   I am very lucky to have found this and such advice could benefit hospitals and maybe Jamie Oliver should look into doing something to solve the problem of MH care via nutrition as this is now becoming such a major problem with shortage of beds –  correct nutrition and diet could play an important role here.     It is obvious that unhealthy diet contributes to the way someone can feel and all the more important that the diets of people under MH care are thoroughly looked at.  It is unhealthy to provide microwave dinners on the wards and something needs to be done about this situation.    Living in the community without proper support patients are left to go downhill and need help with nutrition especially if on maximum levels of mind altering chemicals.    It is a pity doctors do not think about this rather than push huge levels of drugs, sometimes concomitantly prescribed to patients without any thought to their health and wellbeing.   Why are these P450 tests not widely available?  I have had to go to some lengths to get them done but also it is not all about finding the most suitable drug – these tests should be used to allow for patients to be on the minimal and  not maximum doses and that can be done with the correct nutrition.  So instead of sugar campaigns how about looking at everything and concentrating on schemes in the community to ensure patients are eating healthily and educated and encouraged  to do so.  Some patients may not feel well enough to cook a meal and they are left to live on takeaways.  These drugs can render someone disabled to the point they have no energy or thinking ability.  It is these patients that need help and assistance and not just left to go downhill to the point they are re-admitted into hospital.   Diet/Nutrition is essential and investigations as regards food intolerance.

I have been invited to write an article for a magazine called Equilibrium and wish to do something jointly with my guest blogger.  It is a case of finding the time to write though-f  I am hoping to feature the results from Holland and to bring to the public’s attention that not everyone detained under the MH Act is violent and a danger to self or others and are detained for “convenience” – costing the public thousands per week. I would feature some real life cases.   All this money could be better spent on improving nutrition and making this widely available and for those who are too ill to cook a meal because of the enormous quantities of drugs then more should be done to help within the community.    The current system of forced drugging/ECT/restraint/CTOs is not working and it is not easy to get someone out of the system and I am proving that it can be done but that is thanks to the help and support I have had from friends/family, former patients – peer support is a good thing.   These are people I can trust whereas some professionals like to write behind your backs in a nasty way.  All the more reason to have Open Dialogue and centres like Chy Sawel set up.   Elizabeth and I have requested to be transferred to an area where they have Open Dialogue.   I will let you know how I get on with this in due course.

Elizabeth and I have been out all day.   In the morning we went to the Zumba class and had a great time.  Elizabeth joined in OK but stood near the wall.  Elizabeth can see from this class that there are some really good  people around and some who care about others.   It was a lively and happy occasion and good for her to socialise which is something I am encouraging.  This class is within walking distance to where we live and I hope that in due course she will be able to go on her own.   I am also encouraging Elizabeth to do her own shopping with her bank card.  I do not want her to become totally dependant on me.    A new friend of the family called today and invited us to  to a couple of wonderful places in Camden.  First of all we went to Touch Tuina, a therapeutic centre where they offer a wide variety of specialised treatments.   Both Elizabeth and I experienced the massage sessions and then an infra red sauna.  The saunas are made from red cedar wood by a company called Health Mate.  This made me think we have a garage at the back of our garden and I could visualise having one of these wonderful saunas myself however  there is a lot of tidying up to do in this garage before I could seriously consider this but something like this would definitely benefit Elizabeth.  The sauna gives the benefit of daily detox, rejuvenation, effective relief from Arthritis, Back, neck and shoulders.  I am even tempted by the prices – for two people the sauna would cost £3700.  That is all we would need – nothing larger.  The centre of course offered many other wonderful treatments and I am more than happy for Elizabeth to go there again and we all came out of there feeling so much better and it was a very relaxing experience.   From there we went to a place that specialised in many varieties of Teas, namely Chinalife of 99 Camden High Street, London NW1 7JN.  I was very impressed and I ordered a selection of these teas for us all. Our new family friend is extremely knowledgeable as regards nutrition and I have to say more knowledgeable than the majority of doctors, many of whom are only too happy to prescribe drugs.    I am not normally a tea drinker but I tried some of the varieties on offer which I found very refreshing.  It was also very good for Elizabeth.  Amongst the variety of teas – white teas, yellow teas, green teas. Teas were from China, Japan, from Taiwan,  Black/Red teas, cocktails, lattes and in addition lectures and tastings, educational information on history, cultivation etc.   I was extremely impressed and I bought some tea to take away – Amachazuru – a herbal tea with powerful immune boosting adaptogenic and antioxidant herb with a vast variety of reported health benefits.  I also bought Ceremonial Matcha – a very high grade ultra fine Japanese Matcha made from organic Tencha.    I bought these as gifts for people I know who are suffering from cancer.  The Grandma of Elizabeth is such a person and we were planning to visit her tomorrow in hospital but unfortunately on our way back home from Camden I received a phone call to say that her condition has worsened and right now Elizabeth and her sister are at the hospital visiting. Sadly she has lung cancer.  I am pleased that Elizabeth has stopped smoking altogether since coming home.  It is good we have a friend of the family who is so knowledgeable about healthy eating and diet.  This is a welcome influence on Elizabeth as it is essential that she pays attention to her diet as she is on Clozapine – a last resort drug  for “treatment resistant” Schizophrenia – however we have seen not one sign of any psychosis or had any hint of problems with Elizabeth since she has come back home.  I have paid special attention to diet since Elizabeth has come home and do not buy any processed food and try and get fruit and vegetables – a balanced diet.      We all had such a good day and on the way home I received many calls from Elizabeth’s sister who  was telephoning me asking our whereabouts as she was keen to get to the hospital.  I hope this is not going to be too upsetting for Elizabeth but she wanted to go and I would not stand in her way of doing things.  The family friend  is a very honest and trustworthy person who has gone out of his way to help and who has taken Elizabeth to the Natural Health Show recently.    Also it is good because it is very informative for me as a mother to know what the best products are to buy and my house is becoming more like a health shop as I am paying attention to the labelling of products and not just shopping without any thought.  I now have more idea what to look out for as regards the food labelling and listed ingredients.

Tomorrow I was planning to visit someone in hospital but I also would like to take Elizabeth to the Philadelphia Association 50 years – a Celebration.  I have printed off a lot of information for Elizabeth to read on R D Laing.  The Philadelphia Association came into being 50 years ago to challenge and to widen the discourse around the teaching and practice of psychotherapy.   It will be interesting to attend this event that is if Elizabeth feels up to going.



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