“You will have to take the drugs for the rest of your life” –  this is the comment said to Elizabeth by two consultant psychiatrists who I feel like naming.

Now there is the debate coming up shortly of the Institute of Psychiatry (Maudsley Debates) below and it is at last being recognised that the drugs can do more harm than good.   So,  I hope that I will get the chance to speak at this debate or better still my younger daughter is happy to get up and speak on behalf of her sister who has been classed as a case of no hope yet I am about to prove otherwise to everyone.  Elizabeth’s sister has been diagnosed as having Schizophrenia as a child – can anyone explain why my younger daughter is on “top of the world” – well I put it down to the fact that  I managed to successfully get her off the poisonous chemical – Risperidone given to her locally by a child consultant psychiatrist.    It was not easy to get her off either- the drug made her more anxious than I’d ever seen before and caused enormous weight gain.  From seeing this, I became very much against the prescribing of drugs to children in fact not only to children but also to the elderly such as my father with Alzheimers and anyone in fact.  These drugs are not easy to come off and there is no help whatsoever and if someone tries to take themselves off these drugs instead of a doctor correctly recognising withdrawal symptoms they give a label and say there is a mental health problem so someone can easily be misdiagnosed like Elizabeth has been.   With no school to go to locally due to problems I wont go into here, I searched for a good school in another area and it is thanks to the school SusieEarnshaw Theatre School that my daughter is on top of the world.  Thank you so much.

With a father who had Alzheimers going downhill over a ten year period, that took up a good deal of my time to point it practically took over my life – suddenly I had other caring responsibilities for my younger daughter but I was determined not to put my father into a care home as this would have been against his wishes.   I wish I had questioned to begin with the drugs given to my elderly father, instead of trusting the doctors -how I wish I had looked into this thoroughly. I would urge anyone that has elderly parents not to just place their trust in these doctors but to look up the drugs themselves and to question matters – why put someone elderly on anti-psychotics.   My father was a placid man, this changed him into someone who could have mood swings – bouts of aggression like never before which of course doctors  never associate with the drugs given but put down to symptoms of illness –  this is rubbish.  I now recognise the “symptoms” in both my father’s case and my elder daughter’s case as caused directly by the drugs themselves.    The drugs caused my father to have a heart attack and were giving him no benefit whatsoever, just like the drug Clozapine is giving my elder daughter Elizabeth no benefit.   The drug Aricept “worked” in preserving my father’s ability to prolong a better state of life but when this was withdrawn my father went downhill rapidly and ended up in a wheelchair.  Never once did I wish to give up and put him into a home – constantly various staff members would say to me “why don’t you put your father into a home – he is taking over your life”   – well I did not see it like this at all.  Yes there were many sacrifices –  I was working part time –  I could not go far on holiday or even consider going abroad.  There were many problems when my father went into respite and staff would contact me as they could not always cope. On one occasion he went missing and somehow found his way back to his old home that was miles away.    Now the doctors have ruined Elizabeth’s  physical health and I want something done about that, not just a debate – they do not care less – what would they do if this was one of their relatives? – would they give the maximum of drugs if it was one of their relatives?   I can clearly see that Elizabeth is just a number to them – one more case of their enormous workload of MH patients left on long term drugging, prescribed drugs at the maximum levels and the care is not working and why – because emotional issues are not being addressed at all as described perfectly in the book Emotional Health by Dr Bob Johnson.  They want to drug Elizabeth for the rest of her life yet are ignoring serious physical conditions that I have seen in the files recently acquired and proven further by having private endocrinology tests done. They are supposed to do no harm and are protected by the law so when things go wrong who is going to find out if someone is in such a hospital where visits are restricted and so is contact with family.   Police and social services just back them to the hilt but I respect those who are against the system but understand how they just go along with it all because otherwise their jobs would be at risk.   I personally would take the opposite course as I could not go along with anything that was not right. An example of professionals not caring less – a Neurologist at Queen’s Square said “optimise the drugs” -surely a decent doctor would not wish to optimise the drugs, causing harm to the patient’s physical health but I can prove the harm they are causing and who is responsible for this.  The law protects them – the law is not helping people like my daughter.  I wish I could say more here but I will in due course.  So the Professionals that do care are afraid to speak out as it is more than their job is worth.   Well I am not afraid to speak out against this kind of abuse.

I have just been invited to the Legalex Exhibition but this is on the same day as the debate for institute of Psychiatry –  I do not know if I can get along to this but I have had the most shocking experience of solicitors and their handling of my daughter’s cases involving court-  I might just contact the organisers of this event –   I am far from happy by the way my daughter has been treated by the legal profession.   If there was anyone that can help me at this wonderful Exhibition I would be happy to attend with Elizabeth and her sister.

If any of you that follow me on Twitter are attending the Institute of Psychiatry Maudsley Debates I would be most happy to meet you and introduce my two daughters and all the other mothers.

52nd Maudsley Debate: More harm than good?

Denmark Hill Campus, Institute of Psychiatry (Main Building)
Public Talk
13/05/2015 (17:30-19:00)
Anatomical illustration of head

This house believes that the long term use of psychiatric medications is causing more harm than good.       And the House I hope is going to do the voting fairly this time and count votes properly from those in the overflow room.

This event and the waiting list are fully booked. To receive details of future events please join the mailing list.

Chair:  Professor Til Wykes, Professor of Clinical Psychology & Rehabilitation and Vice-Dean, Psychology & Systems Sciences, IoPPN

Professor Sami Timimi, Consultant Child & Adolescent Psychiatrist; Director of Postgraduate Education, NHS Lincolnshire; Visiting Professor of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, University of Lincoln
Professor Peter Gøtzsche, Director, The Nordic Cochrane Centre, Denmark
Professor Allan Young, Professor of Mood Disorders, IoPPN  )
Mr John Crace, Journalist, The Guardian                                 )   I am looking forward to showing you evidence and for you to hear from my daughters directly
17.30–18.00: Refreshments
18.00–19.15: Debate
19.15–20.30: Reception
I have attendedthese events before alone but this time it gives me great pleasure to be able to bring along both daughters.  I am looking forward to meeting Professor Timini and Professor Gotzsche and I hope my younger daughter gets the chance to speak – to my amazement Elizabeth took part in one of my recent conferences and got up to introduce herself to everyone – since coming home she is improving so maybe Elizabeth will wish say something herself at the Institute of Psychiatry and I as a mother am encouraging her to stand up for herself.
Myself, Elizabeth, her sister and my friends who are coming from so far away, those mothers who are badly affected with sons and daughters long term incarcerated in hell on earth hospitals worse than prison.   I would like to speak to Mr John Crace of the Guardian and to show him all the proof I have – how quick these professionals are to write someone off as having no hope when Elizabeth  is doing so well and I want the world to know.  I am shocked to seed that this journalist is Against.  He and Professor Young will not have anything to argue about as not only myself but they will be up against a lot of mothers who can provide actual evidence –  I am delighted to do this myself as I have acquired all the files and the reason the team did not wish me to see the files is because there is plenty to cover up.   I am happy to speak to as many journalists as possible not just in this country but internationally.    I am shocked to see that a journalist for the Guardian is Against – this would be the kind of thing I would expect from the Sun.
The reception at the end of the debate is good where you can speak to some of these professionals (those who are brave enough to stay and do not disappear in a rush) Some of these professional looked a bit uncomfortable to speak to me what with all the research and evidence I have acquired and now I have even more now to show     I now want to know who is going to help Elizabeth – how would they feel if they were told “you have to take the drugs for the rest of your life” especially when  there is no such thing as Schizophrenia.  It would seem to me like no one is wiling to take the risk to reduce someone off the drugs despite having the knowledge,  especially a drug like Clozapine  –   it would seem like instead of safeguarding my daughter they are safeguarding themselves.  I suppose this is in case of the likelihood that  someone is severely injured  so by giving them a lifetime of drugging makes things easier, a means of  convenience, less risk for themselves and of course it is very profitable to keep someone drugged up and I want the press to know about all my friends (who will be coming from a long distance to attend this debate) those who have sons and daughters long term on enormous quantities of drugs in the most dreadful of “hospitals” or care homes worse than any prison yet these young people are discarded like rubbish,  the public needs to be informed that these young people have been left to go downhill to the extent they give up –  I saw the effect on Elizabeth at one time.  The public need to know that these a lot of these young people are not those who have committed terrible crimes or killed someone – they are people who have been “put away” as a matter of convenience and drugged to the extent they no longer have a voice.  This is being done at the expense of other services that affect the public and must be costing a fortune.  In the event when someone does develop a serious blood disorder only then do these professionals act and taking someone off the drugs steeply is done in a horrendous way so I have heard. Seeing as the Guardian reporter is Against I wish for there to be other reporters to be involved as I want things reported fairly and I am very happy to speak to each and every newspaper and provide them with all the proof they need of what is really going on in the UK and I am not the only one who would like to talk to many reporters.
Last night at the Millfield was fabulous – the entertainment was brilliant.    It took my mind off everything unpleasant going on in my life.   Unfortunately Elizabeth took the drugs just before we left for the Millfield.  What an effect these powerful drugs have on her – one of the most noticeable effects is dizziness and she was clinging to my arm a lot.  The drugs make her tired and out of breath.    She is showing signs of TD but we are waiting for a referral to a hospital where they have a bigger scanner as twice Elizabeth refused to have the MRI scan which is needed for the Neurologist.  The GP has not bothered to ring me so I am going to have to chase this up.   Not once has the consultant psychiatrist picked up the phone and showed any concern at all.  We don’t even know the name of the consultant psychiatrist as the transfer of care meeting did not go ahead – Elizabeth did not want to come and neither did my carers and you cannot force Elizabeth to do something.  I quite understand especially when you read all the nasty comments said behind your back.  So social services wanted to see us first before seeing the psychiatrist.   We are waiting for some reassurance in respect of something mentioned in the files and due to the serious nature of this I cannot disclose for the time being until we hear further and the same goes for some very disturbing things in respect of the legal case for the time being.

An example of truly shocking care in the UK, not written by me, but sadly familiar as I have seen and visited people in  such awful places –  it is not always the case that these patients who are held like prisoners have committed atrocities and are of risk to the public yet this is going on today in the UK and I can provide examples of cases:

I wish to share with you an example of the shocking care and treatment on offer to MH patients in the UK –  this is not being publicised in the press as it should be  –    “I have no doubt a hospital environment would suit Elizabeth.” said a member of the team.  Well  how can this kind of environment be helpful to anyone?  Elizabeth has been in a place that she described as “prison” or “hell on earth” – I have visited someone else in another “hospital” just like the one described below – here is the description of this place: entitled “visited relative tribunal”

“I had to go there because my relative had a tribunal. –

The security precautions are worthy of a prison, very depressing, even the Judge said that sometimes in these places she cannot do her work because they take her laptop from her .  I nearly had an argument with the people who removed all my possessions as I went in.  The actual staff on the ward were very nice, I think it is just the regulations, so restricting they cannot possibly be conducive to recovery.  My relative has completely withdrawn, I feel that the psychiatric system itself is wrong, has made his condition worse.  Always presupposing the worst, more likely to get it.  My relative is stuck in there unable to go out unable to draw out any money, begging me for money, which I cannot afford.  Supposed to be rehabilitation but the people aren’t allowed to go online/have a mobile phone or tablet.  Maybe they have some real hard cases in there, for whom these restrictions are designed but my relative is not a criminal or dangerous – has the misfortune to be banged up with those who might be.  The grounds etc. all very nice but apparently no one is allowed out in them.  I would not like to work in that place or to be in there.  Ward staff as I said doing their best and in spite of everything managed to remain cheerful and positive.”

Visited in October 2014 – Posted on 17 October 2014.

You would think that a person put in this kind of place has killed or done something terrible but I can prove there are many cases where this does not apply at all and patients are just left to go downhill.   I am most disturbed at this so called expert who claims in the file not to know my family so well but passes my complaint to the department I have complained about feels “sure” that this very hospital mentioned above would suit Elizabeth.

There are lots of places like this in the UK.   Beautiful grounds which are not being used and facilities whilst patients are locked up on the wards and drugged up to their necks, often they are miles away from their families who cannot visit and no help is given to the families if they cannot afford to visit.    It is not the answer to have someone on the wards like this – many are admitted simply because they cannot manage in the community –  what kind of country allows this to go on?   Hospitals such as these are just dumping grounds and very hard to get someone out as I have discovered even when of no risk to self or others as I have proven.  And as for the files – they are a disgrace – here staff come out and write behind your back the most nasty comments and get away with it as they all stick together .  I have seen that there is a culture of bullying in a system that is failing to protect the weak and vulnerable.

If a care home cost £60000 a year God knows what a hospital like this would cost and it is no wonder why they do not wish to let people go as they are raking in the money – it is big business.   With this vast waste of public money it is no wonder why the NHS does not have funding for vital services that affect everyone and A&Es are being closed down, plus other things that affect everyone.  Vast sums of money are also being wasted on maximum enormous amounts of concomitantly prescribed drugs to psychiatric patients as well as court fees – long drawn out tribunals and solicitors are doing well out of it – many do not come near or visit someone vulnerable and  I have seen the most unprofessional behaviour on the parts of  solicitors which I will explain later.

With the forthcoming elections, I want to know what each of the political parties propose to do about this unsatisfactory situation.  I will be posting this blog and more comments later to all the political parties as I propose to take Elizabeth to vote in the forthcoming elections.  I would like to see an end to the abuse going on and an end to ECT and forced drugging – proper assessments  and before prescription of drugs looking at metabolism in depth and whether there are in fact physical conditions – assessments are not being properly carried out.

I do not have time to write further right now as I have to take Elizabeth for an appointment and then we are going to see the show “Sunny Afternoon” which I will tell you all about later

It’s Easter, my favourite time of the year and I’m so happy.  No longer do we have to plan around Easter, allowing for long journeys in the car going down to Wales or to the area where the care home was situated.   Its so good to be together as a family and I know Elizabeth is happy as she has told me many many times “I am so happy to be at home, Mum”.   It has never been a problem to me to have to care for someone as I have had to many times in the past – my mother with cancer, my father with Alzheimers, my younger daughter who did not want to live at one time was diagnosed wrongly with Schizophrenia, however my younger daughter is extremely busy and is hardly at home as she is always working.  My younger daughter went from strength to strength starting with a small local school I paid for in a different area which was the “cure” –  she was so lucky to go to a boarding school for performing arts and then on to University.  After graduating from university she has set up her own company.    My proudest moment is yet to come as a mother when my younger daughter comes with me to an important event, in order to support all the mothers who have sons and daughters locked away unnecessarily.  I am proof that it can be done – to all the Mums and Dads out there it is not impossible to have someone back at home =- someone who is written off as having no hope has suddenly made huge improvements being in the right environment which is home.   A member of the Home Treatment team said that home was the “best place” however sadly I have read that this same member has said other not so nice things in the files.

I have had a chance to study these today and it appears that it was thought Elizabeth would be best off in a hospital environment by someone who I believe is from the “management team” with no medical qualifications and two such places were being considered,  the Priory and Kneesworth Hospital.  The Priory is the one situated in Hertfordshire.    Well I wanted her to go to this hospital myself and was prepared to pay but not this branch – one more local to home and they refused flatly to take Elizabeth saying it was a “complicated case” and I was prepared to pay myself.    I see no complications myself.  Elizabeth’s case is straightforward in my opinion. Yes she has been in and out of hospital but at the age of 28 now she is home there are no problems and I put everything down to the concoction of concomitantly prescribed mind altering chemicals which I cannot bring myself to call “medication”.    Never before was there a problem with Elizabeth until she was prescribed Prozac (Cipralex).  Elizabeth’s sister to my horror and against my wishes was prescribed Rispieridone. I had always warned both girls to never take drugs but never did I think that a doctor would be so quick to prescribe these drugs and push them onto someone vulnerable without proper tests to check on metabolism. Call that naieve but I knew nothing about the horrors of what is going on in the UK but now I do.   Now I have researched matters I can see clearly –  having head of DSM 5 there is a diagnosis in there for absolutely everyone – all for the profit of the pharmaceutical industry.   I would not accept one single diagnosis in this book myself and believe that it should be scrapped,.

Anyway Elizabeth has spent time with the rest of the family today which has given me time to tidy up and do housework.  I have sorted out paperwork and filing –  I have so little time to do all of this now Elizabeth is home.  I am so happy that I have time to spend with her this weekend.   Tomorrow I will take Elizabeth shopping locally and I would like to see the show “Sunny Afternoon” –  I have no idea whether I will be able to get tickets as they will be in big demand this weekend.

Having time to myself has enabled me to do some reading today – my new book is brilliant called “Unsafe at Any Dose” by a consultant psychiatrist I thoroughly agree with – Dr Bob Johnson – you deserve the highest award.   I have also been looking at the medical notes the team were so desperate for me not to see.  They certainly make interesting reading and whilst I am just a mother I could not resist researching things further. The previous Neurologist has written interesting points that has led me to look into matters further and question certain things.

The new Neurologist I have appointed has complimented me on being a “very good mother”. However this is in stark contrast to what I have been described by the team.  I will explain further another time but it is Easter and I do not wish to bother myself with unpleasant issues and I will reserve all unpleasantness for another time as I am too happy to wish to write about this today.

So Elections are forthcoming – which Government is going to do something positive –  HOW ABOUT AN END TO ENFORCED DRUGGING AND ECT FOR A START. RELEASE THOSE MANY OF WHOM ARE NOT DANGEROUS FROM HOSPITAL.  I will be taking Elizabeth to vote but I do not see any Government doing anything outstanding regarding mental health care and the scandal of so many people being written off and lost in the cruel system of the UK that is failing so many (because it is all about drugging and nothing much else)  lack of support in the community, I would like to say that I am proof that there is hope that some young people can return home – a much cheaper option to the taxpayer and I have been without any help for the past year.   Elizabeth may be on a drug that needs monitoring however I see her as a 28 year old adult and treat her like a person, not an object/possession – she has come out of the system disabled however I believe here is still hope for Elizabeth and am shocked by the way she is written off in the files.

Meanwhile, we thought the transfer of care had gone ahead as Elizabeth and my carers have not wanted to attend meetings.  I am backing my carers and Elizabeth. There are many things wrong in the files that need to be amended and some things too disturbing to put on my blog-  Elizabeth has seen the files and is not happy.  I would agree that these files are highly inaccurate.  When very nasty comments are made about certain members of the family I feel it is only fair that they they should be appropriately amended.  Who can blame my carers when they have been called hostile and aggressive.  I am not so sensitive as I knew what to expect however I have to safeguard my carers and Elizabeth from things that are not true/nasty personal comments  When I had to call the police to report harassment myself the police woman said “you have a very nice home Ms Bevis”  “you are a very good mother, Ms Bevis said the new Neurologist”   –  it is good to hear that some people can report the truth.

Anyway Elizabeth is here with me now “I have had a very good day with my Grandma and Grandad and father. I am looking forward to seeing the show “Sunny Afternoon” with my mother.  On Easter Monday we may go and see where my sister is working.  I am very happy to be at home this Easter.”  “Happy Easter everyone and thank you all for your support”

My views on mental health care in the UK are based on personal experience and I am in touch with a lot of people who are suffering right now who have their sons/daughters under the UK’s unfair system where they remain in hospitals and care homes for so many years on end and become disabled and then the excuse is risk to self when all that is needed is more support and for a team to work with the family in a fair manner and for psychiatrists to take note of the harm they are doing by giving maximum levels of drugs in care establishments and to understand why a parent would wish to see their son/daughter on minimal amounts of drugs when it is proven that there are physical health conditions.  However all you get is dismissal and exclusion if you dare to request this.

Degrading Treatment – which is commonplace in the UK

I have not only seen this but experienced it myself.

Distressed patients waiting outside nurses’ offices for a long time and the way you are treated if you dare to complain.   I have witnessed more than once professionals smiling at meetings.  If you show emotion, you end up getting labelled yourself.  Psychiatry does not recognise emotions – this is where they go wrong in my opinion – emotions are seen as symptoms of illness instead of helping someone who has suffered trauma, drugs are given at high levels which is no cure at all.    I was never imagining things or being delusional when Elizabeth and I were being harassed a while back -now that I have acquired the files I can see why the team did not wish for me to see them.  The team were visiting for a purpose to report everything that mother said and this they certainly have done to their credit in the files in a nasty manner.  Comments were not just confined to me but to my carers and also to Elizabeth which is awful in my opinion.  By all means go ahead and say what you like about me but why pick on my daughter and my carers.   The contents of these files go on to be read by other professionals who are influenced by them “we have heard all about your past behaviour”  it is like a diagnosis – once given a label sticks for life and there is preference given by the bulk of the team – many of whom are not medically trained to just one of say 5 diagnoses with disregard to whether the label is accurate or not.  It is like having a life sentence.  Whilst some may be happy with a label there are others who are not like Elizabeth.   All these stigma campaigns are never going to do anything good whilst the system allows for someone to be treated in this way –  stigma campaigns are only directed at the public but how about looking at the reality of how patients are treated in the care system itself.

The words “angry” “aggressive” “hostile” are favourite words of professionals that they like to use constantly in the files but there are other much more disturbing things – some too disturbing to put on this blog which I want a full investigation into.   It is easy to write behind someone’s back – how many bother to get the files and this is made extremely difficult.  If a patient originally consents to this the team will change this “you don’t want your mother to see the files”  – in actual fact it is the team who do not wish that mother to see the files for obvious reasons and now I have and I am neither shocked or surprised by their contents.  It is good to know which members of staff are saying certain things about you behind your back and I should feel flattered that I am regarded as a “special case” however I feel this status discriminates against other patients who need attention and who are ignored.   A special case is when there is money or jobs involved –  £60000 care home fees.  A CTO about to be organised costing/needing more funding of public money.  A special case relates to anything that has court proceedings when anything said or done can be used against you in court by the team as again it costs thousands to take you to court.   Deprivation of Liberty is not being handled well and patients are not being treated fairly.  To withdraw “treatment” is to try and force return a patient back into care where it was planned to place a section upon that person.   Instead of working with the family they work against the family.   Instead of understanding they bully and harrass.

We spent hours and hours waiting for professionals to help at local level but were told to take her back to the care home in order to get the drugs.  I was afraid my daughter would suffer injury so I ordered a cab to take Elizabeth to Harley Street as no one cared locally.   In Harley Street you can get to see a consultant psychiatrist immediately however none could help me re the Clozapine so I contacted Novartis and they could not help either. In the end I have to contact solicitors as I felt her life was being put at risk by professionals.  I may not be happy with the drugging of my daughter but I know that you cannot just stop taking the drugs.    The team ignore physical illness for instance –  there is no genetic links to kidney disease in the family.    There are other disturbing things too in this respect. Past family history is incorrect.  Everything I thought was going on has been confirmed so I cannot be accused of imagining things.   If something serious has occurred under care this recorded as “Delusions” .   I am disappointed in the Police –  I am not impressed with certain comments.   I am disappointed with the legal profession as I do not feel they care for anything much apart from their expenses.  I am disappointed in the whole system as there is no backing for someone like myself in the court system. My own experience of Ct of Protection is good but when you read the shocking contents of the files which are highly inaccurate,  when presented to Court who will be believed especially when  the entire team can write what they like about you behind your back in a nasty way.  Complaints are dealt with unfairly as  they investigate themselves so when the complaint goes further up to say the PHSO for instance or the CQC who is going to believe a mother or a patient in preference to the entire team who stick together like glue to protect one another.

My main concerns just like other mothers is the huge level of drugs being prescribed to young vulnerable patients in hospitals and care homes.  When someone is so drugged up they are too ill to contact solicitors and are at the mercy of professionals who ignore physical health.    I have seen the comments in the files “optimise the drugs!” from a Neurologist going back to when my daughter was originally under local “care”.

I am sorry for mothers/parents who wish to get their sons/daughters out of the system but cannot as professionals play on risk factors and some of the parents have to been able to find a firm of solicitors willing to help them.  Some have been in the system for years on end and are being deprived of phones and contact with families, leave etc .   Some have developed serious physical conditions as a result of the huge amounts of drugs given and there is no accountability in the UK –  I know of several cases.   Certain professionals it would seem are above the law.

Elizabeth is improving at home now because she is being treated like a normal person and encouraged to do things for herself she is getting better and I have a wonderful trainer/nutritionist who comes to the house twice a week.   She needs prompting to do basic things and could not manage on her own 24 hrs but that is no excuse to keep her stuck in the care system for years and years on end to the point of complete disablement with destruction of her physical health due to huge amounts of drugs given.

When Elizabeth first came home she did not want to go out .  All the time she would cling to my arm and that of my carers – sometimes it was impossible to get her to come out and she was ill at the thought of going out.  She is getting better now thanks to being in the right environment.

Whilst at the care home we took her to Woburn Abbey – Elizabeth could not sit in he café for long and could not enjoy the day out.  Same applied to when I took her to Big Feastival – Elizabeth was not well and wanted to go home on arrival.  Now things are different –  I am able to take Elizabeth out to London and in crowds.  She is walking better now and has proven that she is not an entirely hopeless case.   How many more young people are treated like this?   Well I am in touch with parents who are extremely upset as their sons/daughters are stuck in hospitals and care homes a long distance from home and being drugged up to their necks.  Professionals are abusing patients’ human rights and huge sums of money are being wasted by keeping someone in hospital long term or care homes instead of helping families.  £61 does not go far on carers allowance and should be increased.  Direct payments should be given to families – this worked well with my father who had Alzheimers.   When everything about home and family is written about behind your back in the most nasty way how can you trust the professionals?  When consultant psychiatrists do not wish to see you or speak to you on the telephone – I do not think this is good at all and this shows that they do not care.    I do not think that managers or non medically trained professionals should be as involved as they are in terms of “medication” to the point they themselves push the drugs to patients.  I therefore do not agree with integrated care as I have seen that total disregard has been given to the wellbeing of my daughter by non medical personnel who have a lot of power – power to take you to court and sever contact. – power to put someone back on section even though they are doing well and this I would call abuse.  I would also call this a waste of public money.

Some contradictory Points:

In a letter addressed to me, following my written concerns regarding “medication” given at high levels – here is the response from a service manager.

“You are certainly right in emphasising that medications can have side effects and that the dosage should be reduced to the lowest level.  A psychiatrist treating a patient will explain possible side effects and will help a patient who has mental capacity make an informed decision about their treatment”

He continues in saying “I am satisfied that this process is being followed with regard to present anti-psychotic medication.”  

My response: You are not a doctor and how can you be satisfied especial with the maximum drugs given to my daughter? 

He then talks about mental capacity:    I would agree with the following points:

“For someone to be classed as seriously incapacitated they would normally be very severely handicapped and incapable of feeding themselves for instance”.   

I recently got slated on social media for using the word “handicapped” – well in the case of my father I pointed out he was severely handicapped in the later stages of Alzheimers –  I fail to see what is so offensive about this when I have seen the most shocking things directed at me as a mother and my daughter in the files.

I would comment that capacity can be played upon – for instance huge levels of drugs as are given on the acute wards can destroy thinking ability – when it suits them a team can say that someone has or hasn’t got capacity but Elizabeth did not want the capacity assessment as she was not feeling too good it is assumed she does not have capacity when all along this without doubt.   Deprivation of Liberty was used to try and force her back into care and to sever contact with me.

The service Manager talks about Physical Health and the importance of regular physical checks/contacting the GP – all well and good but I would like to see this service manager cope on huge dosage Quetiapine – maximum 800mg and other chemicals on top of this –  I was shocked to see that Elizabeth was given even more chemicals on top of this such as Haloperidal and Chlonazepam.    It would appear the team have not properly read the files and it is a good job that I as Nearest Relative have acquired them as I am looking after my daughter’s physical health and when these professionals talk about “best interests” – it certainly is the best interest that Elizabeth has come home – at least I am not dishing out Lorazepam and contra indicated drugs constantly  Even the GP in Wales did not know why she was put on the Metformine.


As a carer/parent you are excluded – confidentiality and capacity played upon so as to deny access to any information and this can be done to cover things up.  I have been looking into capacity as this really interests me –  capacity is the ability to make choice.  This would apply in Elizabeth’s case and she certainly did make a good choice to come home and has had the capacity to tell me all about the coercion going on at the care home.  My father with Alzheimers in the later stages was regarded as someone who had no capacity however I knew that he could understand some things – just because my father could not communicate effectively, emotionally he showed signs of understanding when once a nurse stood over his hospital bed discussing delaying of his release from hospital.

Writing someone off:

The trouble is with the care system in the UK many young people are currently being “written off” –  when someone like Elizabeth is labelled “treatment resistant”  they are not given hope or encouragement and left with little/no support in the community.  It is wrong to write someone off as being beyond help and dismiss emotions and what may have happened to that person.    It is not a case of shortage of beds – it is a case of wrong treatment.  The very fact that there is a shortage of beds means that the treatment is  wrong.

At home Elizabeth is safe and happy.  It is insulting to see how she has been described in the files.   Elizabeth sometimes needs prompting but will always get on and do her own washing/ironing. She can cook basic things.  She is gradually gaining confidence thanks to the personal trainer who comes to the house twice a week.  Elizabeth suffers from Agoraphobia but despite this I manage to take her out but she is too afraid to go out alone.   I  hope she will eventually as there are so many nice things around this area all within walking Studio nearby and another gym that is closer.  The trainer took her out today.   No help is given to the family but £60000 and more is being saved to the taxpayer.

Last Weekend:

Where Elizabeth has gained weight – the drugs are notorious for weight gain,   I try and get in very healthy food. We went shopping in East London and Elizabeth bought some very nice clothes.  On Sunday Elizabeth did not want  to go out at all so we had a restful day at home.

This weekend:

Taking Elizabeth out with me into London to an exhibition.  Hoping to meet former patients./survivors.

I try to make the most of my time with Elizabeth at the weekends to encourage her to go out and regain her confidence – by meeting former remarkable patients who are getting on with their lives is wonderful inspiration and by going to the courses/conferences and listening to decent professionals speak gives us hope that one day the Government will take notice and do something like raise carers allowance and ban ECT and huge levels of drugs being forced on patients long term and recognising that there should be choice and decent care that is based on holistic/therapeutic /nutrition just like Chy Sawel wish to offer.   I would like to see politicians attend the forthcoming Maudsley Debates.  Elizabeth and her sister will be with me on this occasion and there will be other mothers going too who wish to see action and not just words.

Today I’m am very happy – it’s Mother’s Day in the UK.   What better gift could I have but my daughter Elizabeth being home again after so many years.  I’ve been thinking today of all the mothers and people who have relatives currently held prisoner under the cruel MH system of the UK, a system that you cannot easily get them out of.  The public are unaware of this as it is not being reported.  I am in touch with many people in this sad situation where sons/daughters are sent hundreds of miles away – in some cases they are not allowed phones to stay in contact.  The way families are treated is terrible in the UK and when I have spoken to such parents they are heartbroken –  many cannot afford to visit very often, bearing in mind distance.   It was not easy for me –  Elizabeth was sent to Wales and you cannot just get in the car and drive down for the day there.  Not only was it expensive but there was not one ounce of help in terms of advocacy.  Once someone is moved away from home and family, they are put in a situation where there is strict control  in a coercive environment.    The patients are not cases where they have killed someone,  they are cases where someone cannot cope in the community and need extra help.  The mothers and families are people who care and are desperately unhappy.     The Government pays only £61.35 for Carers Allowance under a hospital thousands of pounds are being spent a week.   Under a care home £1150 per week.    I do not know how much extra it is to put someone on a CTO in order to force them to take drugs for the rest of their lives.   All of this is going on whilst A&Es and maternity units and other things that affect everyone are being cut under the NHS.

I am getting more and more letters and have spoken to several parents/husbands etc who are at their wits end.  I am finding that what I was faced with is commonplace.

The other area where huge sums of money being wasted is under the legal sector.

If you are a Nearest Relative you can overturn a section.   First of all the patient has a Tribunal – quite often this will fail.  As the Nearest Relative you can appoint solicitors paid for by legal aid at this level.   You have to go through a Manager’s Hearing first but at the Manager’s Hearing they refused to release the files to my solicitors.  This did not go ahead.    I meanwhile had arranged with a nicer psychiatrist who was covering duties for tests to be done for Dr William Walsh.  I had arranged for these tests to be carried out at the Bio Lab and of course they came back showing significant decline in terms of physical health.   Tests such as these are not cheap and the team are quick to dismiss them as they do not care about physical health and like to concentrate on maximum drugging.   So Elizabeth said she was unhappy – eventually an independent psychiatrist was appointment – the choice being that of the Nearest Relative.    Being so drugged up in this private sector hospital, not seeing the family regularly, it was difficult for things to progress quickly.   Elizabeth’s solicitor should have visited her and helped her but I did not think that was the case.   Things just became long and drawn out and the more correspondence involved the more expense at all at public expense.   This is where the money is going.

Under the Court of Protection where a Council can deprive liberty stating the patient to have no capacity, you get no representation in court.  It costs about £800-£900 a week if you have a job and home to provide your own solicitor.   I do not think it is a fair system at all.    For a family to have a child or vulnerable person taken away is terrible and so is it terrible for families to have someone stuck in the system when the parents are decent and care – in instances where the patient may have reacted badly to drugs in the past and I am talking about prescribed drugs.  Not everyone has taken illicit drugs to get themselves into the situation of being admitted to acute wards.  Not everyone has abusive parents.   Most have suffered some form of trauma and being on a noisy overcrowded ward is untherapeutic and can affect someone’s behaviour.  I never want to see Elizabeth back on any acute wards again as I know these are places where psychiatrists dish out drugs at huge levels and I can see that this kind of place just resulted in Elizabeth becoming worse.   Since being home, her behaviour has been completely normal but disabled due to being on last resort Clozapine which is far from a wonder drug in my opinion.  I have read the files of shocking content with Elizabeth who has a right to know.  Even past history recorded in the files is wrong.  The words “hostile” and “aggressive”  are frequently used out of context – when something goes wrong this is covered up – if you complain or show any kind of emotion you get labelled yourself.  Never have I ever threatened violence to the team but that does not stop them from labelling you as they so wish.  There are things missing and other things I did not expect to find amongst the files.   I have requested certain papers that are missing and have been refused them.    To get rid of a Nearest Relative can be a convenient way of covering things up when there are serious things to hide.

Taxpayer’s money is being wasted, vulnerable people are kept for years on end incarcerated in hospitals and care homes.  They are being drugged excessively and end up being disabled.

If the Government were to give more money to individual carers that would be good but £61.35 does not compare with the cost of a care home or private sector hospital for instance.  Diabetes is a condition caused by the drugs, Parkinsons disease and blood disorders.  I suppose keeping someone away from their families is a way of safeguarding themselves for when things go wrong.  If someone does become injured as a result of care the legal profession does not want to know.  I do not think the legal profession is treating vulnerable patients fairly – it is wrong that a hospital should recommend either advocates or solicitors.

I do not think it fair that there is no legal aid representation at higher level in courts especially in cases such as Deprivation of Liberty and severing of contact with a family member.

I think the complaints system is wrong as I have seen at first hand how they investigate themselves.  Who is going to question these professionals when they stick together like glue and make you out to be a terrible person all behind your back.

The Council has cut funding for the local Carers Centre but they have no end of funding for “special” cases – “go in twos – report everything that mother says”.  All this, when there are some people who  would like attention.

I wish we had a fairer system in the UK such as Open Dialogue.

I wish we had a National Metabolizing Scheme –  it is all very well saying “risk to self or others” being the criteria for release from section but most important of all, underlying physical health problems are ignored –  if someone is chronic treatment resistant –  this means poor or non metabolizer – the treatment being given could be doing more harm than good and only experts who are familiar  with the drugs themselves should be allowed to prescribe them.  I was appalled that doctors had not heard of the tests I wanted to have done (P450 liver enzyme) and I came to the conclusion that many were not up to date with their knowledge.  What do they know about adverse drug reactions ?- drugging of patients is being done as a means of convenience/control with total disregard for physical health.  They are driven by blind ideology.  Many do not even know how the drugs work.  To prove capacity under Court of Protection once again an independent psychiatrist is appointed – must cost thousands for a report to be prepared on top of the court fees.  The correct regimen for administering psychopharmaceutical medication is by titrating to a minimum therapeutic dose, not only to  protect the patient but to reduce the cost of treatment.

Degrading treatment against mental health human rights seems to be commonplace.  The withholding of drugs is in breach of Article 3.

Kucheruk v Ukraine (2007) ECHR No. 2570/04 6 December – lack of adequate medical treatment and lack of adequate investigation into the applicant’s complaints of ill-treatment.   (The person investigating the complaint passes it to the department the complaint is against, the complaint is investigated by themselves)  all of this  very relevant in Elizabeth’s case.

Being at home has meant that I can share all the nice things with Elizabeth such as wonderful shows and we went to see the brilliant show “Once” last night which we both enjoyed.   We have seen two other shows recently and I want to go and see “Beautiful” again. Yesterday we met with former patients and today we have been to the cinema to watch  the sequel of Marigold Hotel – a very good film.

It is cheaper to pay more Carers Allowance than put someone in care and more thought should be given to this by the Government.

Apparently I cannot be regarded as a vexatious complainant  – however they regard me as being Prolific –  that is because none of my complaints have been answered satisfactorily.

Prolific complainants are those who raise the same issue despite having been given “a full response“.  The kind of behaviour they  display are as follows:

Complaining about every part of the health system regardless of the issue; 

No this is wrong!  I as a mother think that there are good things within the NHS – I am not talking about MH care though.   I admit to disliking a system that I personally regard as abusive , that allows the forced drugging and restraint and ECT to vulnerable patients who can be easily coerced if given huge quantities of mind altering drugs. I  think that the system is failing many vulnerable people like my daughter but when you  as a parent/carer point things out you are disregarded and labelled yourself as someone who is troublesome or vexatious.  Patients risk being further labelled as having symptoms if they complain or show any kind of emotion as to how badly they are treated.

Seeking attention by contacting several agencies and individuals;

When someone is not receiving adequate response who can blame them for going to other “agencies” as naturally that person would like to see something done at the very least.

Always repeating a full complaint;

If a complaint has been brushed aside and not answered – this is a reason why complaints are repeated.

Automatically responding to any letter from the Trust;

Well that rules me out as not only am I too busy the content of any such letter is always the same.  The words “satisfied” and “excellent care” have been mentioned in response so it is a waste of time and energy even if your complaint is very serious and something really bad has happened.

Insisting that they have not had or received an adequate response;

Well if a complaint has not been dealt with properly it is no wonder someone insists they have not had an adequate response.  I will explain later about this where marked  **

Focussing on a trivial matter;

When there have been incidents leading to serious investigations whilst under care, I can see that the Trust’s procedures are to regard these matters as “trivial”.  No-one will ever admit responsibility or say “sorry” – unless they are forced to and this can only be achieved in court or as previously ordered by the Ombudsman.  If an apology is not forthcoming then they have to back down on certain things and even forced to apologise.

Being abusive or aggressive.

It is easy to label someone as abusive or aggressive. This is not said to your face but behind your back so that when the next team look at the files they believe everything unfairly written and that can in itself have a detrimental effect on the care of the person concerned.  Also in Elizabeth’s case there is disagreement between more than one professional on diagnosis and treatment.  

My interpretation of someone being abusive or aggressive is threat of violence ie to kill or hit someone, which is not something I have ever done.  Neither have I been abusive in swearing the F word  yelling, screaming and shouting as a visitor on the ward but if something badly goes wrong and you dare to criticise or complain this is regarded as aggression. The worst I have done was  in fact to criticise the placement of my daughter locally when I could see that things were not working out.  I have also criticised the “care” of maximum drugging and inability to protect my daughter whilst under care.

Whilst under local care this is the medical attention given to my daughter:

Concomittantly prescribed drugs at huge dosage regardless of serious health problems:

Quetiapine XL given at 750 mg and this was raised to 800mg

On top of this Clonazepam 1mg

Lorazepam 1 – 2 mg – max 4 mg/24 hrs

Haloperidal 5-10mg (30mg max/24 hrs

At the Bethlem enormous amounts of concomittant drugs given:

Maximum dosage of Olanzpine mentioned – this mixed with the Quetiapine.  800mg of Metformine given with Clozapine 300mg despite the Advanced Declaration of no Clozapine,  then Bisoprolol .  Elizabeth was not allowed any leave at all from this hospital and I was only aware of the contra indicated Metformine and Clozapine and or course no doubt Lorazepam was given and paracetamol as Elizabeth would complain of headaches.  One drug to counteract another and when you mix two together this can cause adverse behaviour and so a section is placed on that person.  The answer I got when I queried the Metformine being for diabetes Type II was that it was for weight loss and I knew this was being given off label.  I had no idea that my daughter was on Bisoprolol for heart problems.   Now I know everything that is kept from the family and made secret and when a patient is drugged so steeply they can hardly have consent/capacity at times to agree to a drug that they have previously said no to by way of an Advanced Declaration.  To gain “consent” this is achieved by means of coercion, the whole team working closely together with one Agenda in mind.  If a person is drugged so highly they are like “putty” in the hands of the team and made to feel bad if they do not agree and that could mean agreement on drug treatment or ECT for instance, or change in solicitor or to even sever contact with a parent and displace that parent as Nearest Relative for example but sometimes this coercion can backfire.  Sometimes despite the enormous amount of drugging a patient can still retain capacity to say “I am being put under pressure Mum to choose between you and my dad and I do not think it is fair – I do not want to go back there Mum”


Trust’s Policy and Advice from Ombudsman and here are the guidelines:

Regardless of the manner in which the complaint is made and pursued, its substance should be considered carefully and on its objective merits.

Well I thoroughly agree with this above.  A very good guideline.

Complaints about matters unrelated to previous complaints should be similarly approached objectively and without any assumption that they are bound to be frivolous, vexatious or unjustified particularly if a complainant is abusive or threatening.  It is reasonable to require him or her to communicate only in a particular way – say in writing and not by telephone – or solely with one or more designated members of staff but it is not reasonable to refuse to accept or respond to communications about a complaint until it is clear that all practical possibilities of resolution have been exhausted.

Again agreed and by the way practically all my complaints have in writing as I like to keep records of things.  Responses are usually copied in with many different members of staff when you write or they respond to a complaint and as I can see, the same names are involved time and time again.

It is good practice to make clear to a complainant regarded as unreasonably persistent or vexatious the ways in which his or her behaviour is unacceptable and the likely consequences of refusal to amend it before taking drastic action.

It would seem like any complaint does not go down well and is clearly not acceptable but if a complaint has not been addressed how can someone be regarded as having unacceptable behaviour in being vexatious or prolific in their approach?

Apparently it is stated “it is inappropriate for SB to be labelled as a vexatious complainant”  “she keeps bringing up new issues which makes it impossible to label her a vexatious complainant”   Had I gone to the Ombudsman, there was a great deal of concern about the Trust being criticised and the feeling was that the Ombudsman would take the view that because different issues were raised in the complaints, SB would not therefore be considered vexatious.   So I could not be called vexatious, despite the whole team wishing me to be labelled as this, so I have read in the files.  In order for this to be done someone would have to check that all her complaints had been answered and that she did not raise anything new.   I can save the bother by stating that “No my complaints have not been answered” – the latest one being the deprival of Clozapine for several days.

A team will try and restrict a complaint to one person – it is all too easy to fob someone off when certain management personnel look upon you as being “troublesome” – I am even called that “poor” woman.  Well I do not consider myself to be a “poor uncontained woman”.  This is not the worst that I have been called – yes there is even worse comments.

Below is what one professional has to say:

“in the context of SB’s serial communications over her daughter ‘s care and treatment these in my view do not warrant further formal investigation”

Between 7 – 10 names are copied in – the responses all the same “we are satisfied our treatment and care arrangements are satisfactory”.  It is interesting but not surprising to read what is written behind your back by professionals, the bulk of which are not medically trained.

If a member of staff believes that a complainant is being unreasonably persistent or vexatious they should raise the issue through their line management to  Director level if necessary.   I have had to do this myself when my daughter was being visited in twos by members of the Home Treatment team despite telling them not to call – it was unnecessary as the titration had been completed and all they were doing were asking personal questions.  I complained to the Director of MH and the visits stopped but they were ordered in the first place “go in twos and report everything that mother says”.  I had to call the police –  I invited the police to my home as I would rather have dealt with the police as the team were ignoring Elizabeth’s wishes.

The Trust has a zero tolerance policy which applies to verbal as well as physical abuse and aggression.  If a complainant is abusive or threatening staff should make a written report using the incident reporting form.  A complainant who is abusive or threatening should be reminded verbally in the first instance and in writing if he/she persists about the Zero Tolerance policy.   This is all very well and good but is biased as aggression and hostility can be shown towards the vulnerable patient and family yet this is allowed.  

I have found staff to be aggressive and have been threatened quite a few times  and that is why I address my complaints in writing.   There is a 100% tolerance towards staff as they all stick together and investigate their own complaints.   I am laughing about this –  I wish I could investigate myself.  In any other profession this would not be allowed.


Not everyone has viewed my complaints as trivial – for instance the Healthcare Commission criticised the way/ manner in which my complaint was dealt with over a very serious incident.  This led to an apology at top level.

This is how complaints are dealt with in the local area:

You write a letter to the Chief Executive of the Council.

They supposedly investigate – in my case my complaint was deprival of Clozapine for several days putting life at risk.

You then chase up a response as there is a wall of silence.

You then get a letter from someone dealing with the complaint (someone with whom I actually spoke to on the phone)  this person could not see why Elizabeth should be upset by being asked to choose between Mum and Dad.

Now this is interesting …………. the person assigned to look into/ thoroughly investigate the complaint decides that the best person to answer that complaint is none other than the person who the complaint is mainly about as in this instance –   so the complaint is answered by the person or department that the complaint is all about  ……………..”you know the family well and are best placed to deal with this” – words to this effect.  This same person who was assigned to investigate the complaint is quoted as saying “I have no doubt that this patient would benefit from a hospital environment”  “We have to be more robust regards to why institutional care would absolutely benefit this patient.  In a nutshell it is about proving why your assessment as Care Coordinator is paramount in setting the agenda of care needs required.”

You have clearly not done your investigation properly. You passed my complaint on deprival of drugs to the department who you saw as “best placed” to investigate in other words the department to which the complaint was addressed so that they could investigate themselves.   You have not thoroughly read through the file –  in the file it says how distressed Elizabeth was in hospital so where do you get this idea from that a hospital environment is best? It is clearly not as it is mentioned that hospital environment had a detrimental effect on Elizabeth yet you say differently.   

Then comes the usual letter from the Chief Executive’s office – they are satisfied everything has been dealt with fairly however I can prove otherwise  as I can see exactly what has gone on and this would explain why none of my former complaints have been properly dealt with and by the way  they were not trivial complaints. They were very serious complaints and new issues as more and more serious things came to light.  For anyone who doesn’t know Clozapine is a last resort drug for Schizophrenia and given to those regarded as “treatment resistant”.  I thought this term at one time was ridiculous but I have learned a great deal about “treatment resistance” – poor or non metabolizer.   The dosage is said to be too high by those who really know about the drug – the pharmacologists- not the management team involved.

Since  coming home no longer is Elizabeth in bed at 6.00pm and sleeping lunch time.   I am trying my best to get her out to regain her confidence as I want her to be independent and not dependant  on others.   Elizabeth has a Freedom Pass but unfortunately she cannot use it freely -she relies on people to take her out as she has developed Agoraphobia.  When someone is institutionalised for so long they become dependent and disabled so how can institutionalisation be best?.  It awaits to be seen whether Elizabeth will be refused a this Pass which is due for renewal end of March based on current relations that are rock bottom not only between myself but Elizabeth and my carers who want certain reassurances  in light of disturbing things in the files.  Unfortunately Elizabeth is not able to work – very disabled due to the high amount of drugs given and could not get herself out alone to attend appointments or even go for the regular blood tests without the help of close friends.  If I did not have this help I would have to give up my job which is full time.

In May 2014 when Elizabeth came home  to say from where she was placed after long hospital admissions I had every intention take her back as agreed until I heard her disturbing account of what was going on and when a member of staff said “we are not speaking to you any more as Mr B is next of kin”.  At first she was happy until  a nurse put pressure on her to choose between Mum and Dad and Elizabeth quite rightly felt upset about this and did not wish to return –  to cut a long story short she has been at home now for nine months and is doing well.   There are shocking things written in the files but I see a first hand that my daughter is gradually getting much better and I have plenty of witnesses who would agree with that.

When the drug Clozapine was deprived I did everything I could despite my feelings about the drugs to get it as I know you cannot come off these drugs immediately in one go.  I wrote to Councillors and received no response.  I wrote to my MP who does not involve himself with issues on care. I sent my blog documenting my failure to secure the drugs to all leading politicians via social media.  I offered to drive hundreds of miles to pick them up and went to Harley Street in desperation having contacted solicitors when attempt after attempt failed at getting the drug locally.-   When someone is not on a section or CTO it sounded very suspicious to me and I was absolutely correct to be suspicious.   There is a lot of money to be made by keeping someone in care at taxpayer’s expense at a cost of £60000 a year plus extra money to be made by arranging a CTO.   But why should someone who is complying with the drugs, having been imprisoned for several years, sent hundreds of miles away from  home and family, denied contact with a mother the team regard as a vexatious complainant be forced back into care/institutionalisation when they are unhappy.  Why should that person be treated in the most despicable manner with their life threatened by deprival of drugs by a team of professionals who had one agenda to re-section  her and sever contact, restricting visiting rights.    Whilst in care not only did hundreds of pounds worth of possessions go missing but I am unable to mention certain things that happened whilst under care which are too shocking to put on my blog here.

Elizabeth was traumatised at being on the local acute ward which was not peaceful and she was displaying signs of adverse reaction such as Akathisia.  She was under the “care” of a scheme in the local community where she went missing.  She is lucky to be alive after what happened to her.

The Royal Bethlem hospital also gave maximum amounts of drugs too – this regime was followed by private sector Cambian and then the care home.

I can see now why they did not want me to see the files or Elizabeth –  physical health is ignored but who is going to find out with a team working so closely together who will stop at nothing to achieve what they want to displace you, to sever contact and no one would ever find out about anything serious then – the person concerned would be distanced from their family and be so drugged up time  that this person could not be in a fit state to answer questions, things would be covered up completely then.


Saturday – a busy day out all day long with Elizabeth in Central London.   We went to see a Healthy Eating Show at Olympia.  I took Elizabeth to lunch at the wonderful Wholefoods store in Kensington High Street.  On the top floor there is an abundance of choice in regard to restaurants.  Elizabeth chose Japanese food which is very healthy.  At the last minute decided to see a show second week running.  Last week we saw “Beautiful” – the Carole King Musical which I hope to go and see again.  I wanted to see the Musical “Once” but this was sold out.  We were in the end very lucky and fortunate to get tickets to see the show “The Commitments”  –   I thought this show was very good and at the end everyone was standing up and singing along and dancing in the aisles – like a party atmosphere.  I have booked tickets to see a festival later on in the year and my course through ISPS in Liverpool.  I hope to meet up with one mother I have go to know via social media who has also gone through a shocking experience with the care of her son.

It is good to be able to share nice things with Elizabeth in light of all that has been unpleasant – none of this would be possible if it were not for the support I have had from close friends/family.  Thank you all.   Many thanks also for the wonderful support I have had from complete strangers via social media.

This weekend I am hoping to go to the Healthy Eating Show at Olympia.  I have been to other exhibitions held there in the past which were very good.Last Saturday I was taken to London to see the show Beautiful –   a musical -tribute to Carole King –  I thought the show was very good and my Mum wants to book again – the seats were very high up but I coped well because normally I am very afraid of heights but I had not taken the drug Clozapine beforehand so maybe this made a  difference. I have to lie down when I take this first of all and I cannot eat anything after taking this drug – it makes me feel dizzy but if I lie down for a while I feel better after some time.    We also went for a meal to the Opera Tavern in Covent Garden where they do Tapas.  I liked it very much – the food was good.

I have a nutritionist/trainer that comes every Monday who puts a lot of emphasis on eating the right foods.  I am trying to keep a record of that at the moment – sometimes I crave for chocolate but I know I must watch this now more than ever.  The drug I am on causes tremendous weight gain and I never had to watch diet before like I do now as I never seemed to put on weight before.  The last consultant psychiatrist did not alter the dosage like I had hoped and I requested this but no one took any notice.  I am supposed to have a new consultant psychiatrist but have not met him yet.

Today I have had a very nice day.  I went to  Bannatyne Spa Luton with my sister as she got me tickets for Christmas.   I had various treatments, sauna, steam and I went swimming.  It was a wonderful calm experience and I felt like I was in heaven.

Since coming home although I have not been out anywhere on my own yet, I have been getting out much more than before and I do not feel the severe panic attacks I used to.    I used to feel physically ill and make all sorts of excuses to avoid going out anywhere.  I am also doing more for myself but sometimes I do need a reminder.  The drug I am on does make me feel very tired and I get out of breath sometimes when I am out walking and have to stop.

This weekend I am hoping to go to the Healthy Eating Show at Olympia.  I have been to other exhibitions held there in the past which were very good.I will write about the exhibition soon.

I am hoping to go somewhere nice on holiday this year as I have not been anywhere in three years and away from my family.  Right now I feel happy. I would definitely like to this spa again.




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